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Britney Spears sees her children, they survive

Most of you possibly are already aware of this, but just in case, Britney Spears visited with her reproduction for the first time on handgun since January 3. Kevin Federline wanted Britney to have some time with the kids. After two days of tense negotiations, lawyers for each side hashed out a deal. E! News reports:

Aside from Spears and a court-appointed monitor, there were several other key cadre on hand, including: Britney's father, Jamie Spears; a Federline security guard; and a lawyer from the Luce Forward law firm, which is handling Britney's conservatorship for Jamie Spears.

According to an insider, the 26-year-old pop star was not permitted to take the boys, ages two and one, into another room without the others watching.

Also present was a blind chimp with a bazooka. It had been erstwhile determined that, in the case of an emergency, if anyone should be left alone with the children, it should be the chimp. Or a box of old syringes. Britney, however, does have one opportunity to be left alone with her boys. But first she'd have to survive a nuclear holocaust and not be within 100 yards of a nuclear fallout zombie. At which point, said zombie will be the children's primary caregiver. Britney's lawyer is currently fighting for shared custody with the zombie, but so far, no dice.