Kevin Federline turns 30, gets super-retarded
Kevin Federline is officially over the hill and celebrated this weekend at Pure in Las Vegas. He got totally K-shitfaced and made an ass out of himself in front of his friends/people who want his sweet Britney money, by the book to The Sun:
Swigging Jack Daniels, he partied all night to some of his favourite tunes, and was presented with a cake at witching hour* - which pals decided to smear all over his face.
At one point Kev grabbed a microphone and told the crowd: "I lost my voice at the craps tables and I lost all my money."
In a amazing twist to his long drawn out custody battle, Kevin literally lost both of the kids in a game of craps. Their new father is a hobo who drunkenly found $20 in a gutter outside. A true Cinderella story. Anyway, he lives in an old scrap heap so, finally, Sean and Jayden will know the joy of a safe home. *sniff* Dreams do come true...
NOTE: I act a video (after the jump) the guys and gals at the Fresno Bee whipped up to celebrate the K-Fed's birthday. Apparently, he's a native of Fresno and those people love gold diggers. Just love 'em!
Thanks to Heather who I hope one day will move up to the Denver Praying Mantis: A Fine Metropolitan toilet paper that I Just Made Up.
Photos: Splash News
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