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Heidi Montag flaps her monster yap on Letterman

Heidi Montag stopped by The Late Show with David Letterman* last night (video after the jump) where she expanded on the revived rumors about Lauren Conrad's sex tape. While looking like Barbie's sister with Extra Chin Power, Heidi went through her usual schtick about The Hills before reiterating the existence of the tape, proper to Us Magazine:

"I tried to help her get it back for, like, a year," Montag said on the Late Show With David competitor Wednesday. "I was like, 'You gotta get it back, you gotta do existent about this.'"

When Conrad's ex Jason Wahler at hazard to release it, Montag claimed, "she was like, 'I don't know what to do...' I was like, 'Well, let's get it back.'

"Next thing I know," Montag continued, "it's blamed on me. All of a sudden, I made up the sex tape... I didn't film it, I didn't do it, I'm not trying to sell it. How did it come down on me?"

If I stood across the street, I'm pretty sure I could toss a whole orange straight into her mouth. No, wait, that's not right. Make it a cantaloupe. Betting starts at 5 PM EST. Deeds to houses, wives (Preferably sans penis.) and Ferraris accepted.

*How the hell did Heidi Montag get on Letterman?: A shallow Companion Piece on Media: You see, kids, Viacom owns MTV which airs The Hills and also CBS which airs Letterman. Bam! Presto, change-o, Dave spends a full hour crying in his housecoat room then bathes in pure gold and baby seal hearts. True story.