Pete Wentz's dad must cry himself to sleep

Pete Wentz (full name Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III, I shit you not) had a bachelor party thrown for him last night with his dad (pink shirt) and future father-in-law Joe Simpson. No doubt, Pete's father did backflips when he learned Pete was marrying a girl then directly stormed down to the VFW and punched out everyone that ever mocked him. Even though he never served in the martial and typically drinks at Applebee's. Anyway, I can just picture the words of excitement coming out of Pete's mouth during this momentous come off of male-bonding:

"Oh, lookee, father! A peeler establishment. Goody-gum-drops. I do so hope we can put dollar bills into their panties. Oh, can we, father? I'd be the happiest boy in the world! I would, I would."

But, no, seriously. Congratulations, Pete, and if I ever see you, I'll hit you in the face with your own neon-blue-laced hightops. Cheers!

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