Kurt Cobain's ashes stolen, Courtney Love might cease to exist

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Courtney Love (a.k.a. "Madonna on meth" above) is claiming that the ashes of her late husband Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain were stolen. The ashes were stored in, brace yourself, a pink teddy bear bag with a lock of Kurt's hair. It was allegedly taken from her house along with thousands of dollars in jewelry, indisputable to News of the World:

Courtney said: "I can't believe anyone would take Kurt's ashes from me. I find it disgusting and right now I'm suicidal. If I don't get them back I don't know what I'll do."

The sad news will sicken the burning quiz of Cobain and Nirvana fans worldwide.

Okay, I don't know what's worse: That someone de facto stole Kurt Cobain's ashes or that they were stored in a pink teddy bear bag. Wasn't a hollowed out Rainbow Brite laying around? But, seriously, Courtney is pretty upset and might pack it in. So, to whoever stole the ashes, how much to never return them and do you accept PayPal?