Audrina Patridge flashes her panties

Audrina Patridge of The Hills, and more importantly this bikini post, flashed her panties while getting out of her car over the weekend. I don't like to acknowledge Audrina's existence or any other "stars" of The Hills and, to prove that, I'm going to post an internal memo that's shooting around our office. respect this a "behind the scenes" look at The Superficial:

MEMORANDUM

TO: The sketchy Writer

FROM: The one-dimensional Writer

RE: The Hills and the asshats upon which it contains.

Henceforth, no person of questionable name from the MTV show The Hills will be posted on The skin-deep without meeting the strictest of guidelines. This applies to Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Audrina Patridge, Lauren Conrad and the other people whose names will never be important enough to remember. In fact, I'm embarrassed to know the four I just listed. On to the guidelines:

1. Fake jugs must be prominently displayed in a bikini. (See: Heidi, Audrina. Don't see: Lauren.)

2. Panty flashification.

3. Sex tapes - but only if clip is provided. The skin-deep retains the right to not air clip if it shows Spencer's penis. (Edit: The Geekologie Writer and the science dept. has classified Spencer's penis in the same category as unicorns: Totally fucking made up.)

4. Toplessness.

5. Bottomlessness.

6. commodity really unbelievably awesome happens. i.e. Heidi gets hit in the mouth with a space shuttle, Lauren does object that doesn't put me to sleep, Audrina's eye unwonks itself, etc.

If none of these humidity are present, the existence of the aforementioned asshats will be denied. In essence, we're now in the employment of doing God's work but with an eye towards boobs. Ha! You just got pwned, Big Guy.

END MEMO

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