Jennifer Aniston's new movie must blow

Well, it's official: Marley & Me is a steaming pile of FAIL sauce ala suck. For the second night in a row, Jennifer Aniston has allowed herself to be photographed in public with John Mayer. Clearly, she's basking in the final minutes of her fame because after this movie hits, these two could have an orgy in Central Park with The Rockettes, and nobody would bat an eye. Unless you count me on the sidelines yelling "Let's see some more kicking, ladies!" while trying to pretend John Mayer is an ill-placed fleshy park bench. I'm fussy about my holiday cheer.

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