I love this song. If you happen to have time, listen to it. Amazing lyrics. I lost my mom 6 months ago. I still miss her a lot. My feelings are uncertain, at times I can be super happy, but the next minute, I cry my eyeballs out! My doctor says its perfectly normal. Its a way my body is adjusting to all the stress I am going through. Work, my health, my mom, things like that! 

I can still remember it so clearly, the day before mom went away, I was at work. My dad called and told me that mom might not be able to make it, the doctors concluded that her liver was falling apart. But everything went so fast. I packed my bag, drove back to Seremban, cried my lungs out, and off I went to the hospital. I stayed overnight to take care of mom, I can see that she was having difficulties in breathing, and that it feels like, slowly, she was taken away. When the doctors came and told me that mom needed life support, I knew it that mom will never be able to make it back home again. 

It was 4.30am, I called dad to come over as soon as he can. I was shaking, feeling so scared and so sad. I gave mom a kiss on her forehead and told her it was ok. He hands were as cold as the ice. It was as if, her spirits were no longer in her body, her body was like an empty vessel. Everything else was history after that. The impact is so great to me because I was there alone, I saw how it was. How she struggled, how she was taken away slowly. But I am glad I was there with her all the while. And that she went away peacefully, without much pain. She always wanted it to be that way, so I belief God has answered her prayers. 

So, this song by Mariah actually calms me down. I know mom is no longer here, I know that I can never pick up the phone to call her again and that I can never taste her cooking again but hey, it's not the end, it's not bye bye yet. I am sure she is now in safe hands, and that nothing worries her anymore. She is healthy, happy and having a galla time. I just need to remind myself that I will definitely see her again, meantime life goes on, and I know she wants me to be happy and move on. But it still doesnt change the fact that I miss her so.

I always tot that I can never deal with this, but hey, it has been 6 months and I am still surviving. Still OK! Sure at times I wake up at 3am and think about her, or when I see the old lady walking at the playground, I wanted it to be her but then this is how life is. The harder it gets, the tougher you will be. We all just need the strength and faith to go on. 

Well mom, till we meet again, have fun and we miss you!!!