http://poppedeye.blogspot.com

He is the:

calculating, PHD carrying, lab coat wearing, stuck in the early 90's, never lost his virginity, thinks OJ is innocent, wears cologne to work, speaks with a foreign accent, makes his own Christmas cards, never leaves the toilet lid up, slightly neurotic, ribcage poking outta his chest, smoked pot once but didn't like it

SCIENTIST DISCO KING!

(cue music)

He's one bad intellectual!

Ah yes, the original rules of life.  The Decalogue.  I haven't felt guilt for "breaking" these man made peices of shit in a long time.  But just for fun, I think I'll see if I've broken them all yet...

1.  "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments."

(I'm not really sure on this one, I don't worship ANY god or gods,  so I think I break this one for not worshiping him.)

2.  "You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not acquit anyone who misuses his name."

(This was probably one of the first I broke.  I use to call my sister a "B" because I wasn't allowed to say bitch.  When I was about 8-10 I called my mom a motherfucking bitch.  I was mad at her for something, can't even remember now.  I had to go confess that one.)

3.  "Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the LORD your God commanded you. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God; you shall not do any work"”you, or your son or your daughter, or your male or female slave, or your ox or your donkey, or any of your livestock, or the resident alien in your towns, so that your male and female slave may rest as well as you. Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; therefore the LORD your God commanded you to keep the sabbath day."

(This one I broke when I stopped going to church, about 2-3 years ago.  I do still keep the sabbath in the sense that I don't work Sundays, my girlfriend and I have renamed this day as "Suck and Fuck Day", we sleep in, watch movies all day, and of course ravage eachother violently all day!)

(P.S.  Wow, the ChristiaJews are so good and righteous they even give their SLAVES the day off!)

4.  "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you."

(As you can see from number 2, I broke that one long ago.  For the most part, I have an excellent relationship with both my parents.  Mostly because I was always honest with them growing up, perhaps a little TOO honest sometimes...)

5.  "You shall not murder."

(Hehe, in the most literal of terms, I haven't killed.  But I have been in fights and hurt others physically as well as verbally.  Also I use to derive much pleasure in picking up ants and feeding them to spiders.)

6.  "Neither shall you commit adultery."

(Hmm, well I've never cheated on anyone before, but I have had sex with woman who were with other men.  Guess I can scratch that one off.)

7.  "Neither shall you steal."

(From swiping cigarettes at a grocery store I worked at, to downloading software, movies, music, and games freely, to hacking into school computers and changing grades.)

8.  "Neither shall you bear false witness against your neighbor."

(Me?  Lie??  Never...)

9.  "Neither shall you covet your neighbor's wife."

(Not only I, but also my girlfriend coveted our old neighbors wife.)

10.  "Neither shall you desire your neighbor's house, or field, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

(When I was younger, all the time, but I have become very anti-materialistic over the years.  When I moved in with my girlfriend at 19, I brought with me only a dresser, banana chair, bass guitar, and some books.)

Well well, only 21 and I've broken them all!  :)   I'm so proud of myself right now.  Looks like I'll have to find some new ones to break.

(What would "indecent exsposure" fall under?)

woot.

hooray and yarooh...

100 posts.  A conglomoration of words and symbols, placed delicately in an predetermined order, like a puzzle, to make utter nonsense. 

And now the age of Keanu is over, and in its wake dawns a new age, the age of CuntTongue!

"Thank you! Thank you so much for re-electing me for another 100!!"  (applause and applesauce)

"I promise this term will be filled with more biting satire and commentary on society than EVER BEFORE!"  (more applause)

"And you can be sure that those fat cats in JournalHome D.C. will be getting it twofold from me!"  (more applesauce)

"I would also like to take this time to congratulate all those other fuckers who helped pave my way to fame and fortune by repeatedly trying to castrate me from the general populous, I couldn't have done it without you asslickers!"

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!!!

You've seen it, on candy bar wrappers.  The simple little warning for allergy sufferers. 

But what if that same idea was used in other areas of life...

Example?  You want an example?  Okay.

How about a warning on that bag of pot you just bought from the shady dealer down the street:

"May contain oregeno"

Or outside your state's capital building:

"May contain truth"

For your local school:

"May contain guns and/or knives"

In church:

"May contain pedophiles"

On an airplane:

"May contain terrorists"

Can you think of anymore?

P.S.  Did you know according to the FDA's standards, there can be up to 2% insect parts in your candy bars?  YUM!

.

...

.....

Mammoth illusions cloud my MIND

The light pushes but gets nowhere

Here, put this in your mouth

There, that's a good boy

But its taking FOREVER

Can't we just wait for it

We'll never make it on time

No outcome expected

Trust your insanity

Hold ON to your lies

Pray for nothingness

Acceptance is overrated

Dance in CIRCLES

But never square dance

Eat your feet

Kick your mouth

RUSH into being bored

Smile at all the violence

Release your thoughts

Release your bowels

How long can I

Stare INTO the mirror

Until the mirror

Becomes uncomfortable

Slowing down now

The train is derailing

The building is COLLAPSING

The children are crying

No more fun

No more games

No more BLISS

Hunger pains

And in the END

You'll hate yourself

But hate is love is hate

So just remember

Make it all up as you go

Never get there on TIME

.....

...

.

Would you rather be a dog thats all bark and no bite, all bite and no bark, or a cat?

Hi.  I'm the cat.  I'm the one that tears up your furniture and then expects a full body rub after all that hard work.

Feed me now, I don't care if theres food in the bowl.  Once it's empty, it stays empty, but you can always add more.

Does it suck?  You know, to bark all the time and never bite?  I guess it's equally shitty to bite with no bark.

You must feel like half a dog.  A hollowed out shell of a canine.

God really fucked you over, didn't he?

Come on over, theres always room for one more.  The grass really is greener...

Be your own cat!

Grow some fangs already.  Start sleeping more often.  Clean yourself obsessively.  Embrace the night.  Toy with your prey.

Show them whos REALLY master of the house.

MEOW!

HEY KIDS!!!

It's time for a PoppedEye patented UPDATE!!!!

Hurk!  Well a...  Lesse...  I worked a lot during the week. 

On Saturday I researched apartments in the area.

Saturday night me and the old lady was s'pose to pop some ecstasy but she opted out.  I ended up doing it by myself at a friends house, they all went to sleep so I was alone most of the night.  First time doing a hard drug like that solo.  Very good times were had.

Sunday I recouperated while getting stoned and carving pumpkins.....

Everything else I did was boring and not worth typing about. So nyah.

Fuck off and die bitches!!

And now for some "Words of Advice":

Clean yur guns every day.  You never know when Osama'll be back!

Remember to replace the batteries in smoke alarms before lighting the house on fire.  (Safety first!)

Forks are for eating, knives are for stabbin'.

Fart often, release the demons.

If it's less than a year old, eat it!  (YUM!)

Boyz: If it has a hole, it's fuckable.

Gurls: Use and abuse and then throw it away like refuse.

Contrary to popular belief, when visiting foreign lands it is not okay to rape the women.  (Learnt that one the hard way...)

And finally:  Blogs are what people who can't get real jobs writing do.  (And they're probably GAY too!)

Have not known to come off

and then I hit 'em

Whisper whipser

I like this

door what teen?

(hehe)

SIGH!

clickity, click

space bar

click click tappity tappa tapioca

hehehehe

got mixed up

mumble

sorry

there was a tab at the top of the landing page

this is doing

somethings here

so that shouldn't be showing up

hehehe

more hehehe

walk walk walk

is that cool of asking?  Of course!

so do a reject on these guys

most people I've seen so far

haha

escalating

fix that

so

he likes to be messy

I think I'm gonna stay after work an hour

talk some smack

I feel like today is going by slow

one

stomp stomp stomp

yeah

I thought I smelled

wow

hey Ted!

sorry

I take my lunch break at 1:30

what can I say?

he's a pea

of course she's calling you fucked

haha

update every one

smell this one

lotion

yeah!

hehe

no

he gave me his brothers birthday after

ohhh! bummer!

thats so romantic

silence (why so blue?)

Goddamn.

Could it be?  Could it have finally happened?  Is it possible that I've reached that point.

Oh fuck ME!  It has!  I don't believe it...  I'm so ashamed.  Please don't look at me right now.  PLEASE!

Stop it.  Ouch.  It hurts, it hurts so much!  But I deserve it for the crime I've committed. 

What's done is done.  I cannot change the past.  I'll have to learn to live with this thorn in my side.

I can do it though.  I'll get by.  Don't worry about me.

But I am truly and honestly sorry for what I've done.

Who would have thought, after all this time.  After all the trials and tribulations... the blood, sweat, and tears.

I finally broke.  Snapped.  Burned out.  Finished last.

And all I have left is this:

A complete waste of yours and my time.

Have I peaked already?  Is this the last step before the cliff?

Or will I sprout wings and fly...

It was on this day in 1966 that LSD was officially declared illegal in US.

And it wasn't because it's a dangerous drug, it wasn't because of all the "LSD related deaths"  (So far only one, and that was in the late 80's early 90's).

It wasn't for our safety, for our protection.

It was because a bunch of kids were having too much fun while waking up to all the hypocrisy and bullshit that was slowly taking over in the world.

It was a time that marked the end of Democracy.  Hell!  Even an end to Capitalism.

And it ushered in a new era of control in Materialism and Global Corporatization.

Hoorah...................

Simile

Sicily

Sincerely

Sisterly

Systematically

Substantially

Standardization   (Hey you!  Get the fuck outta here!)

Psionically

Superstitiously

Sadly

Shittily

Spherically

Spasmodically

Sportily

Spastically

Spiritually

Sporatically

Symbolically

Succeptability

Sugary

Shakely

Surgery   (HAHAHA This is fun)

Sneakily

Snively

Saturatically

Specifically

Specially

Referee   (Goddammit!  What did I tell you!)

Substantially

Shiftely

Siliconically

Soulfully

Silly

Skillfully

Sickly

Supercalifragilistically

And now I'm bored with all that.

EAT BABIES!!!

I'm holding a gun

Pull the trigger!  Pull the trigger!

I've got the Pooh bear hostage

I killed Tigger!  I killed Tigger!

I'm running out of time

Kick the habit!  Kick the habit!

I need to think fast

Here comes Rabbit! Here comes Rabbit!

Piglet is starting to cry

Nevermore!  Nevermore!

He thinks he's gonna die

I stabbed Eeyore!  I stabbed Eeyore!

Only one thing left to do

Quit your sobbin'!  Quit your sobbin'!

BANG!  Winnie drops to the floor

You're next Robin!  You're next Robin!

And to be honest, it's quite cold in there, but not that smelly.  Then again I did have the good fortune of hooking up with a rather well refined Mustang with a penchant for Granny Smiths and a bidet in the bathroom.  I'm not calling myself a prostitute, but he did give me 3 bales of hay and a ride home in exchange for the act.

I think his name was Lightning...  Or maybe it was Thunder...  some sorta weather related word, he said it was a family name.

Anywho...

THIS IS TOM HANKS RETARDED TWIN BROTHER SAYING:

Dur, I'm gettin' da fuck outta here!

(Get it?)

Go RoBoT go!   You can do it!  You're almost there!  Almost...  Oh no! Look out for the guards they're...

*ZAP!*   (<-- Lamest sound effect ever...)

Ah...  Too bad, they vaporized him.  Well, better luck next week.

GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!

(RoBoT eSCaPe PLaN is filmed before a live studio audience, this has been a Mark Goodson television production.)

In 1937, A Mr. Samuel R. Caldwell became the first person in the US to be arrested on a marihuana related charge.

So tonight when you go home and load your bongs, take a moment to remember him and all the other unjustly imprisoned non-violent herb smokers of the world.

Smoke it again, Sam...

I met Death this afternoon.  He was standing in the hallway at my work.

"Shit... Really?"

Death nodded.

"Can I at least say goodbye to someone before I go?"

Again, Death nodded.

I walked down a row of cubicles and found Gina, a senior, helping an agent. 

"Hey, I came to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?  Are you quitting?"

"Not exactly..."

"Fired?"

I hugged her.

"It was fun while it lasted.  Thanks for smiling at me everytime you passed by my desk."

I walked away and, reluctantly, grasped Death's hand as I walked out the door.