Something a friend said really stuck with me:
The 3 of us, Johnny, Todd, and myself, were camped out in the middle of the Nevada desert. Earlier that evening we had all consumed some very potent mushrooms and in only a couple hours we were sitting around a fire and contemplating everything. I'm not sure what led up to this particular conversation, I believe we were talking about controlling and manipulating people. John looked at me and said, "You never allow yourself to be entertained."
I replied in a typical defensive manner, "I prefer to make my own fun." HA! What a load of hooey! I was too high to think of a better response. I actually believe I allow too much of my time to being entertained. He was talking specifically about how I can never sit at a party and just watch other people being themselves. I also think this is untrue. But it is true that I would rather make my own fun. I really wish I had thought harder about what he said that night.
I would say more often than not I create things to do, such as the numerous stories I work on and the music I produce. On the other hand there are the books I read and the films I watch, these I use for entertainment. And anyone who knows me knows I am very addicted to video games, I have been playing them my whole life and will probably continue to into my old age.
I have always cosidered myself more a thinking than a doer. But at the same time I feel like I act more often than most people. I hope someday to find a happy medium, but until then I will continue to entertain not only myself but those around me with the kind of lunacy only the truly rational and reasonable can appreciate.
Tah.
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