5/11/2009 - Do You Suspect That Your Spouse Is Cheating on You?
You’re at your office desk in the mid afternoon, and your mind is wandering. You are worrying that you may have to help catch < a href="http://www.emotionalaffairadvice.com/catch-cheating-spouse/">catch a cheating spouse in the act, because your co-worker has brought you into an after the affair. that can only get worse. You want to be a good friend, but you don’t want to be drawn into a vortex where you’re asked to choose between evil. What do you do?
Well, for the moment, it’s likely that you’re going to be the one who acts rationally, so be prepared to be either the designated driver in an evening of blood, sweat and tears or be ready to hire a designated driver as you’re the designated drinking buddy who is ready to take on a trail of misery and despair.
The first thing that you have to keep reminding the person who has lost is that they will get over it. Some go with a formula like for every six months of the relationship, you’ll need a couple of months to get over it. But the person has to realize that they are going to survive the hurt and the pain, even if they found out seedy details about an affair that is just tearing their heart apart.
If the person is wanting to really get the evidence, well, that’s a good start in a way, because it means that they really want proof, that they don’t want to let go of the person just based on a gossipy rumor. They want to make sure. Of course, this can backfire and some might get very very angry if they wind up seeing the affair in person, or you could wind up being a stalker on meaningless stakeouts of someone you should be friendly with.
Sit with the person and question them to see if you can find holes in the logic. Are they just nervous because the partner is saying things that are out of the ordinary? Do they stumble in using the partner’s name during sex? Was that name just a fantasy or a remembrance of things in the past that should have been hidden? The suspicions felt will always conjugate elements that make the situations look worse, so you have to try to help the friend keep a balance in terms of anger and rage.
You might just have to go and counsel both halves of the couple to see a therapist, if it has been a very long relationship and there will be children in the offering. If there are doubts, if there is misery in the relationship, it’s not a matter of finding proof for a reason. Your friend’s suspicions have already set a countdown on the relationship unless they want to take actions to try and find out how to repair things. But a therapist might not be the easiest of answers. Sometimes you just have to be there for the friend and listen and not do anything but offer them a drive home. Heartbreak can be just like grief; you don’t need to know what to say.
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