The end of a relationship usually comes to one of the two parties as a surprise. An emotional affair starts with just a few interactions on a chat device, and then it becomes longer conversations filling in needs, topics which have long ceased to be part of the interactions with the partner who is another room, watching television. The partner has not started an affair, but even though the door has not been traversed, it is now open.

You have to decide at which point do you just let things slide, and how do you evaluate the trust that you’ve believed in. And you’ve got to assess whether or not you’ve really talked to your partner about how close you are and to what extent you want to let things go. It will be too late after the affair, if you discover one. But getting to the point where you want tocatch a cheating spouse will be crossing a threshold of trust. Then it will hit you with different kinds of emotions, depending on your history with that person and the world view that you have had all your life.

If you come from a very hard line form of religion, there will be those spiritual transgressions which will come into play. It is not only a case of two people not being faithful to each other, it is in the context of a vow or oath that was supposedly never to be broken.

If you’re more of an open person with spirituality, it is possible that you will not find yourself shackled with the pain of a betrayal of faith. It is possible that you will take this more personally because it is all tied up the actions that you’ve had as a couple over the time that you were together.

In this day where the combination of freedom to do what we want (relatively), and the freedom to get whatever we want, you have to take care and avoid at all costs feelings of paranoia and anger. We unfortunately live in a high-pressure atmosphere, where there are lots of images and ideas that come from television, the internet and the myriad of forms that advertising surround us with. It’s easier to suck into a commercial vortex someone who’s put into their heads negative images. And if you’ve just gone through the realization of a breakup, this will inevitably interfere with your wanting to make sense of it all.

Red flags will appear but it might be the case that you are looking to convert all sorts of neutral concepts into ones that reinforce a dark view of the world. Take your time to think about what it means for you, and if you are prepared to be bitter about the situation for the rest of your life, whether you decide to stay together or not.

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