I haven't written a blog in awhile. But as it is approaching my 20th birthday I thought I'd write something that I could reflect back on later in life.

I'd like to think that in the last 20 years I have achieved a lot. Sure I've achieved the common things like learning to walk, talk, read and write. But I've also achieved some uncommon things. I've developed into an intriguing and interesting person. I've been to hell and back. Spent hours in a psychologists office trying to find out what caused my anxiety disorder (which came to no conclusion), met the love of my life, lost the love of my life and thought I'd never see him again, then won him back, studied fine arts at a tertiary level, tried to kill myself, discovered that passion can lead to disaster, worked in a hospital and found my passion for science and healthcare, travelled to the other side of the world by myself, brought a house and got engaged.

The last two are recent developments.

But the thing is I have nothing to say I've achieved so much.

Quite a few people I know say I should be proud of what I've achieved but at the same time it doesn't feel like I've achieved that much. I know I have over come depression but only through understanding of what was causing it. and letting go of things that weren't in my control.

I just feel like 20 years was a long time and what do I have to account for it. A mortgage and an engagement that I'm not even sure exists anymore.

Life is such a complex thing.

So much can be going on that you never really see. There is always an underlying life that the outside world does not know about.

I think I might make a time line of my life.

See what I have really achieved.