I'm beginning to realise that things dont turn out the way you want them to. And sometimes, when they dont, they can turn out just a little bit better.
You know what?? Thats pretty true, I guess! I got that from Looking For Alibrandi, this book that were reading in school for English. Thank goodness its set on modern times, because us newly-turned teenagers could relate to it. The main character is dealing with problems and issues that we all can definitely relate to.
Im still single.. in a world that wants to suck me into the *love-struck* trance once again. I mean, everyone around me (well, not entirely everyone but like, most of em) is either WITH SOMEONE or LIKES SOMEONE, except me!!! I gotta tell you, it feels pretty weird. Its weird because, when theres a time where theyre not *infatuated* towards someone at the opposite sex, I always am. During the times we talk, theres always a part of me that wants to talk about him, Him, HIM! But now, they are the ones that *infatuated* and its usually him, Him, HIM they talk about! Weird, huh?
What I think is that because I dont like anyone, and I think no one else likes me, and everyones in *~relationships~* right now, I think that Im a boring person. It feels pretty liberating to be single, but then again, you get lonely because of the totally opposed environment. I dont like anyone seriously right now, and Im not sure whether I will in the *near future or so. I dont know if theres anyone else out there will like me. I wonder, is there anyone out there especially for me? Is he out of reach (meaning I live here, he lives in Slovakia or Canada or wherever around the world)? Am I going to stay single forever? I heard thats like, the number one question single teenage girls ask. I always thought that itll work out for me when I go there, but now, Im not so sure. I just dont want to be the only girl in our class thats never had a boyfriend. Right now, theres about four girls, including me. Im clueless whether itll change or not. L
Oh yea! The last guy whom I was *infatuated* by..5266! He chatted with me yesterday, believe it or not! He said, Heyy, long time weve havent chatted! So yea, we chatted. Obviously, hes going out with someone. That was the day that he asked her out. That was sweet. They even slow danced together in their school dance. WHY CAN T WE HAVE SCHOOL DANCES IN OUR SCHOOL? Anyways, when he asked me whether Im going out or even like anybody, I said a big fat NO! I guess it felt pretty pleasing talking to him. I dont like him anymore, which makes it even more not nerve-wracking as before, to chat with him. I never thought a couple of months ago we have been chatting friend 2 friend normally.
This past week (since Monday, I guess), me and my best friend felt like we were outcasts. I dont know why, probably its because we dont sit where the other girls sit. Like, we sit in the opposite. We know that people has been talking secrets and all that. But right now, I guess its alright. I guess we might have been overreacting or something. I hope its alright. I know that when I describe it here, it sounds like it was just a small problem. But these past couple days, it was definitely way more than that. I already told about it, but its in my writing journal. Oh gosh, now, I guess I have three journals! Im going to have a fourth one soon, which Im going to share with my best friend xP We want it to last until were in college and after that and such. What scares me the most is that Ive heard plenty of stories where its like the best of friends until they go to their separate ways. They first keep in contact with each other, then, they start to drift away. I hate that.
Right now, Im on the road to loving myself. Loving for who I am. Loving myself for going to through this stage of life. Everyday, Im maturing in my own way. My maturity is growing everyday, some days where itll just shoot way upright. I definitely had some obstacles, and the recent one really made appreciate what I had in life. I now have appreciated my family more than ever. I remember that last year, all that was in my mind was just boys and friends, and such. But now, I try to think about the things that they have done to me that I should be thankful for. Things that I realized made me so lucky to have such a loving family. But I dont want to make a list of all the lessons that was learnt. But all those obstacles will be a worthwhile lesson for the future. I love it. I actually love it. Looking for Alibrandi was one of the things that made me realize this.
I think every teen goes through this stages ;)
Changing perspectives on..
- My own human values/morals
- Relationships between family and friends
- Sexuality?? Errnot yet xP
- School A place for education! People should start to concentrate on studying! Xplain later..
- Much more, but thats all I can think of
Sorry, I cant really concentrate to tell you the truth.. heheheehehe! Its just that I need to go back to my schoolwork, I need to do SOSE, Bahasa Indonesia, and English homework. I never realized how schoolwork can be so educating. Hahahahaha, I sound weird. I got to admit that I love doing work. Weird, but true.
By the way, Im having a bit of the flu right now. This really sucks. My nose is almost completely blocked, my voice sounds sick, and my throat is itchy. Whats really annoying me is the stupid blocked noise. I cant taste food right! I either got this from my best friend (who I sit next to everyday, and shes been having this harsh cold for the past month. When I say harsh, I mean HARSH! She coughs hoarsely, its sometimes funny. Shes been going to a doctor, but somehow the medicine doesnt work at all!) or my dad (who manages to sneeze 1000 times a day. His sneezes are so LOUD, it annoys me sometimes. Plus, he doesnt close his mouth!). Speaking of loud sneezes, theres this one guy in my class where his sneezes are so deafening! He usually sneezes when its quiet, and it always scares the wits out of everyone. Its hilarious, I swear. The way he sneezes is so funny.
HATE BEING SICK! IT SUCKS!!!
I guess g2g now.. treating my own sickness.. doing the rest of my homework.. having a good nights sleepcontinuing life