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it'S seMi- CharMed kInD oF LiFE*~*~

10/19/2005 - Lessons Learned..

Posted in Unspecified

I'm beginning to realise that things don�t turn out the way you want them to. And sometimes, when they don�t, they can turn out just a little bit better.

You know what?? That�s pretty true, I guess! I got that from �Looking For Alibrandi�, this book that we�re reading in school for English. Thank goodness it�s set on modern times, because us newly-turned teenagers could relate to it. The main character is dealing with problems and issues that we all can definitely relate to.

I�m still single.. in a world that wants to suck me into the *love-struck* trance once again. I mean, everyone around me (well, not entirely everyone but like, most of em) is either WITH SOMEONE or LIKES SOMEONE, except me!!! I gotta tell you, it feels pretty weird. It�s weird because, when there�s a time where they�re not *infatuated* towards someone at the opposite sex, I always am. During the times we talk, there�s always a part of me that wants to talk about him, Him, HIM! But now, they are the ones that *infatuated* and it�s usually him, Him, HIM they talk about! Weird, huh?

What I think is that because I don�t like anyone, and I think no one else likes me, and everyone�s in *~relationships~* right now, I think that I�m a boring person. It feels pretty liberating to be single, but then again, you get lonely because of the totally opposed environment. I don�t like anyone seriously right now, and I�m not sure whether I will in the *near future or so. I don�t know if there�s anyone else out there will like me. I wonder, is there anyone out there especially for me? Is he out of reach (meaning I live here, he lives in Slovakia or Canada or wherever around the world)? Am I going to stay single forever? I heard that�s like, the number one question single teenage girls ask. I always thought that it�ll work out for me when I go there, but now, I�m not so sure. I just don�t want to be the only girl in our class that�s never had a boyfriend. Right now, there�s about four girls, including me. I�m clueless whether it�ll change or not. L

Oh yea! The last guy whom I was *infatuated* by..5266! He chatted with me yesterday, believe it or not! He said, �Heyy, long time we�ve haven�t chatted!� So yea, we chatted. Obviously, he�s going out with someone. That was the day that he asked her out. That was sweet. They even slow danced together in their school dance. WHY CAN� T WE HAVE SCHOOL DANCES IN OUR SCHOOL? Anyways, when he asked me whether I�m going out or even like anybody, I said a big fat NO! I guess it felt pretty pleasing talking to him. I don�t like him anymore, which makes it even more not nerve-wracking as before, to chat with him. I never thought a couple of months ago we have been chatting friend 2 friend normally.

This past week (since Monday, I guess), me and my best friend felt like we were outcasts. I don�t know why, probably it�s because we don�t sit where the other girls sit. Like, we sit in the opposite. We know that people has been talking secrets and all that. But right now, I guess it�s alright. I guess we might have been overreacting or something. I hope it�s alright. I know that when I describe it here, it sounds like it was just a small problem. But these past couple days, it was definitely way more than that. I already told about it, but it�s in my writing journal. Oh gosh, now, I guess I have three journals! I�m going to have a fourth one soon, which I�m going to share with my best friend xP We want it to last until we�re in college and after that and such. What scares me the most is that I�ve heard plenty of stories where it�s like the best of friends until they go to their separate ways. They first keep in contact with each other, then, they start to drift away. I hate that.

Right now, I�m on the road to loving myself. Loving for who I am. Loving myself for going to through this stage of life. Everyday, I�m maturing in my own way. My maturity is growing everyday, some days where it�ll just shoot way upright. I definitely had some obstacles, and the recent one really made appreciate what I had in life. I now have appreciated my family more than ever. I remember that last year, all that was in my mind was just boys and friends, and such. But now, I try to think about the things that they have done to me that I should be thankful for. Things that I realized made me so lucky to have such a loving family. But I don�t want to make a list of all the lessons that was learnt. But all those obstacles will be a worthwhile lesson for the future. I love it. I actually love it. �Looking for Alibrandi� was one of the things that made me realize this.

I think every teen goes through this stages ;)

Changing perspectives on..

  • My own human values/morals
  • Relationships between family and friends
  • Sexuality?? Err�not yet xP
  • School A place for education! People should start to concentrate on studying! Xplain later..
  • INDIVIDUALITY
  • Much more, but that�s all I can think of�

Sorry, I can�t really concentrate to tell you the truth.. heheheehehe! It�s just that I need to go back to my schoolwork, I need to do SOSE, Bahasa Indonesia, and English homework. I never realized how schoolwork can be so educating. Hahahahaha, I sound weird. I got to admit that I love doing work. Weird, but true.

By the way, I�m having a bit of the flu right now. This really sucks. My nose is almost completely blocked, my voice sounds sick, and my throat is itchy. What�s really annoying me is the stupid blocked noise. I can�t taste food right! I either got this from my best friend (who I sit next to everyday, and she�s been having this harsh cold for the past month. When I say harsh, I mean HARSH! She coughs hoarsely, it�s sometimes funny. She�s been going to a doctor, but somehow the medicine doesn�t work at all!) or my dad (who manages to sneeze 1000 times a day. His sneezes are so LOUD, it annoys me sometimes. Plus, he doesn�t close his mouth!). Speaking of loud sneezes, there�s this one guy in my class where his sneezes are so deafening! He usually sneezes when it�s quiet, and it always scares the wits out of everyone. It�s hilarious, I swear. The way he sneezes is so funny.

HATE BEING SICK! IT SUCKS!!!

I guess g2g now.. treating my own sickness.. doing the rest of my homework.. having a good night�s sleep�continuing life�

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