A few weeks back my seven year old son asked me, "Would you still love me if there was no God?" The problem with questions like this is that you have absolutely no time to think about them.  They hit you out of the blue, and the answer is important.

The answer I gave was something very close to this, "I can’t really answer that because there is a God so I don’t know what it would mean if there wasn’t one.  Since God created everything there wouldn’t be a "˜me’ or a "˜you’ or anything, so I wouldn’t be here to love you.  Also, God is the source of all love, so without God I wouldn’t be able to love anything."

That’s as close as I can remember to what I said, and frankly I don’t think I did a very good job answering him.  At the same time, I don’t have a clue what the right answer would have been.

Although I would be very interested to know what other people think the right answer is, I don’t want to make that the focus of this article.  Instead, I’d like to address a reprimand I have received about this answer.  On hearing my answer, one of my friends said, "It’s wrong to "˜push’ your religious beliefs on your children.  They need to be given the chance to find out what is true for themselves."  I’ve heard this general sentiment from Atheists, Christians, Bahá'ís and Buddhists.  It’s common but it’s wrong.

Is it wrong to tell your children not to hit, or that they should treat people with respect, or that it’s important to learn math because they will need it in the future?  Most people view this as not only acceptable, but a duty.  How is this any different than teaching your children about God or then nature of their Soul or any other beliefs?

If you believe something and it has an effect on how you live your life, whatever that belief is, it seems to me you are obliged to share those ideas and beliefs with your children.  This is not brainwashing, it is taking an active interest in the spiritual growth of your children.  They will hear you; they will observe how you act; they will see how your beliefs are reflected in the way you live; and in the end they will make choices about how they will act and what they will believe. 

Many people seem to have the idea that when you teach your children about your beliefs that they become automatons parroting you and acting out what they are told to be true.  It also seems to me that these people must never have raised any children!  Children are not blank tablets on which we write.  They are unique, and they are surprisingly independent. 

Unless you are doing something very harsh and very unusual, your children will have plenty of opportunities to determine for themselves what is true and what is not.  You should encourage this exploration, but you don’t need to pretend that you have no beliefs or that you don’t think your beliefs deserve more attention than those of others.  That would be, quite frankly, untrue.

The last reason I reject this view is that it represents a shirking of a very important duty.  Children are naturally curious and will ask about such things as what happens when we die, why they shouldn’t hit people, what God is, etc?  The idea of "not pushing your beliefs" appears to be an easy "˜out’ allowing you to let your beliefs go unexamined.  If you accept your moral responsibility to raise your children with values then you should also accept your own responsibility to make sure for yourself that your moral values are correct.  These questions then serve as a very healthy reminder that you should be living by the code you espouse.

No doubt it is possible to push your beliefs.  If you are locking your children away from society and offering only one view of the world then you have gone too far.  Taking any extreme measure to ensure their acceptance is clearly a mistake, but just because you can go too far doesn’t mean you should pretend to be a nihilist for fear of contaminating young minds.

Belief and action are intertwined.  If your actions are not in accordance with your beliefs one or both need examined.  If we come to accept that being and doing are two sides of the same coin then it is natural and right that we should teach our children through both our actions and our words.