That they appeared to be open and also accepting but once you're really involved and a member you were for some reason converted to Buddhism through repeating, deception, confusing mixed messages, manipulation as well as “interviews”. I didn’t even know it has been happening. It was thus subtle and while I had been meditating those emails got into the cells as well as core of myself and I didn’t even problem anything.
They said their pedestals. That was certainly not my imagination.These kinds of teachers were arrogant and narrow-minded and quite controlling.They had the electricity to be so persuading that this was the way. They were running their particular agenda.They should are already called the Cambridge Buddhist Purist Center. That’s just what it boiled down to.
These folks were hypocrites not practicing the things they preached. Where was your compassion and right speech and correct action? They clung on their precious egos and also didn’t care that someone at the front of them was in intense pain and faith based crisis. Boy has been Narayan detached and frosty and she was usually the one preaching and exercising loving kindness to all or any beings? What about the particular suffering person in the front of her? Exactly where was the love as well as compassion then? In which was the right presentation? Why was the lady so angry and defensive? What does I do?
The feeling to be spiritually raped is common in most ex-cult members That is what these kinds of teachers did through these two and a half years. Jimmy and Narayan would just presume they knew the thing that was happening internally when camping before really discovering where I was received from and they didn’t know. Precisely how dare anyone try and tell someone that they should experience their own inner sacred encounters? That is spiritual sexual assault. They were caught in their blind attachment to be able to detachment.
They didn’t know how to just listen. A good teacher listens and endeavors to get where a person is coming from before reacting and blurting out there damaging crap which has everything to do with their baggage and not my own. My practice by some means became their practice and I felt totally blocked by both the teachers as if the strait jacket had been placed on me.
No one I tried to reach out to may validate what happened at the CIMC. No one thought this particular benign center could possibly be anything related to a new cult. I heard from various therapists along the way that others was harmed there yet due to client affected person confidentiality I never got a chance to talk to any of them. We had arrived just lone floaters with not even the umbrella for being an official cult to help you us heal. We had arrived left holding the particular bag with no ex- member to heal with and feeling each of the shame and dread and being on your own with our trauma essentially.
It is hard to get closure and progress without someone to have got closure with or someone to validate my cultish or soft cult expertise. It turns out after last but not least finding someone who had endorsed ex-members of this group that was a power conspiracy. Both teachers mistreated their power, of that I am certain. I didn’t imagine that. We spoke to someone someone who had left TM as well as said that I was just like her when she left her group.
To this day I still struggle with my personal faith. It’s certainly advanced significantly but it’s not your unwavering faith I remember when i had. I have reclaimed my own way of meditation which varies and is also best for me. My personal relationship with our higher power is much stronger. I stay away from spiritual communities and then try to live life to the maximum and I have definitely moved forward. It had taken many years to get unstuck out of this devastating experience along with cult. I did eventually have some good help along the way. I individual my part in this situation. I wish the teachers could have or could have owned or operated their part and just been human and get business pedestals to help a honest person who was suffering greatly.
I have given that learned the term “soft cult” that i will be defining in other entries. I wanted to start this blog with my story to open up the door for some other survivors to share his or her spiritual trauma reports where they fell between the tracks so to speak. This a safe place for some individuals to share their experience, hope and therapeutic from spiritual injuries. I want to hear from you!