1/25/2006 - CUTTER'S TORMENT
Serenity is ripped out of my being
Denied the right to feel
Each time I nearly get it back,
I fall, it's all too real
I feel like I've swallowed acid
And it's eating me up inside
Numbness gives way to blistering pain
Creating my own pain as a way to hide
No one sees and no one cares
As the blood soaks through my shirt
Are they blind, are they deaf, can they see at all
The pain that covers my body?
Torment gives way to torture
Tears of blood run down my back
Pain soothes pain, I fight fire with fire
Making up for the control that I lack
I slice through old scars and relive the past
Find all of my hideous faults
Consumed by a pet turned into a monster
And still trying not to get caught
A blood-soaked path
Follows in my wake
I still scream for blood
There's more pain than I can take
I wait for insanity to take over
To slip once more into the dark
But it doesn't come and my soul
Cries out for another mark
I give in and the tears
Pour out from my veins
Only to be followed immediately
By my constant guilt and shame
Such emotional torture
My soul is in despair
Letting out a blood-curdling scream
That was never really there
A vicious cycle of pain
Weighs me down like lead
What surprises me most
Is that I'm not already dead
Overcome by angiush
These wounds bleed free
I guess what's really scary is
That good or bad, person is still me
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