I feel so worthless. I can’t work. I wish I could but damn even to work two days a week I can’t handle it. I tried volunteering at the animal farm next door and well I can’t even do that. I wanted to do so much with my life and now all my dreams are gone. I hope when my ssdi check starts that I can try and go back to school. Is it worth it though? I mean I’m disabled so what could I possible do with a degree other than show it my kids in the future and say this what your mom could do if she wasn’t messed up. I’d love to start my own rescue center for animals. That was my dream and now its gone.

I just want to wake up and this is all a mistake. No I had to have this crap life. Is it worth living? Sometimes I think it is and then other times I rather wish I’d die. I don’t want to be a statistic yet is there any other way. I know its morbid but this is my head. I wish I could remember and that is one thing I do want back. My long-term memory is gone and my short-term memory comes and goes. SO WHERE DOES THIS PUT ME IN THIS WORLD????!!!!!!!!!