3/19/2008 - the heart

11/17/2007 - red coat

11/12/2007 - susy! susy! susy!

11/3/2007 - down down down

let me sing you a song...please let me

im so happy i'd like to sing someone a song

you...yes...you'll let me?
i can't sing though...cant hold a note for shit

but ill give you all i can

cant give you much

but fuck! ill give you all that i can!

10/22/2007 - mario mendez

racket hangs at my grip
sneakers hot at the sole
and body still as the breath
as my eyes glide on by
to your red running shorts
and beaded dark skin
my eyes, glide on by

in this hot texas sun

you were so beautiful

10/1/2007 - trilogys suck

just sitting there...one, two, no, three of me, with smiles so angelic, so tempting, i melt into all of them as they all melt back into Me.

WTF!! there used to be only one of me...no more..just the one and only....immaculate, most cool, most awesomest susy. rifted now!

holy shit!

four!

when will you ever learn!

dont you see me crying!

im trying!

8/26/2007 - well

4/13/2007 - grey skies

grey skies here. it's been a littel while since i shared.

feeling ok, tired mostly, bored with myself...not with what i'm doing, but with myself.

i'm not sure how the two are different....the myself and what i  am actually doing/thinking.

if what i do defines me, then archiutecture and todd are boring me at this point, but I'm not completely convinced this is true.

I am bored with my Self.

It's no surprise that this entry is boring me already. all of it....is boring me.

3/16/2007 - mmm beer

my hubby  is irish..so i do decorate and make shepherds pie and cabbage (the best a mexican can, although we are both pretty good cooks)...and on CincoDeMayo he makes tostadas and margaritas.

and we drink alot...but this year, i have three projects due this monday/tuesday. boooooooooooooooooo! And my man has to work and gets off at 4am the next morning, tendin to all the beautiful rich drunks of new york city. booooooooooooooooooo again!

so anyone out there, have a nice frothy beer for us (preferably dark), and enjoy

cheers

susy

3/9/2007 - normal in a good way

so things are in  a tranquil stage right now. my last midterm tomorrow (should go well), then I'm off for spring break.

i've been surrounded by people that conversate about their trips to rome, brazil, cuba, paris, etc. I haven't been to any of these places. these people are not bragging but with spring break apporoaching people tend to talk about past and future ventures.

I have accepted that my chance to be a student well traveled has passed. I hope and plan that trips to costa rica, alaska, japan, and rome (in that order) will be had with my husband and/or children. anytime really. even during retirement...i'm in no hurry to visit a few places.

I feel a bit sad about it all, but then i realize that my children will most likely be able to attend college and study abroad and be like the students i have surrounded myself with.

I think of this cause my mom lets me know every now and then that she is so happy that i am able to discover new places. and then i remember how badly i wanted to live in new york when i was in highschool.

sometimes i forget that i (we) put myself here.

2/21/2007 - apparantly i am shallow

I was talking to a newly found friend about the friendships we choose and whom and how quickly we might (truely) let people into our lives. He and I have gotten along flawlessly thus far. I was sharing the idea that I have to (initially) find friends physically, intimidatingly, attractive. I thought of this after reading FightingFemale's blog and how I realized that it is a rare occasion that I befriend someone who i don't find good looking. I don't intend to act on any attractions, after all, i did marry a (my definition of the way awsomest person i have ever met) hottie that confirmed i was shallow on our first date...he had me at "you're shallow". smiles.

2/18/2007 - fearless

went to party on friday night. i drank too much...i become fearless when i drink too much and there is good music and dancing. I dance and i dance and talk and i talk. i have fun.

my friends are the same way, back home, in the south. people aren't like that here. girls get mad, which is the first time ever i have ever encountered this sort of thing.

so i called my two good girlfriends got almost the same responces

they asked, "did you dance with anyones boyfriend that you were not cool with"

I said no.

"did you kiss ANYONE or fondel anyone"

I said no.

"so what's the problem?"

i said "exactly!!"

so we concluded that i was out of context and my surroundings were not the "dirty south" as some people call it.

So in my defense, i am from the south, where skin and body is shown off due to hot weather and humidity. and when we dance we get hot.

i agree with my girls that we might be considered slutty or teases in other parts, although we are of the more modest in Houston.

any input?

2/16/2007 - the lady at the bank

 I was at the bank today and the lady next to me was going on and on to the teller about how she worked two jobs and went to night school when she was younger.

She wasn't bragging and she didn't want sympathy but she was so happy that her daughter aced her first exams as a student at NYU. Her daughter is working part-time and going to school full time.

This women was so happy that she was able to give her daughter an education through her sacrifice.

My mom has a third grade education and my dad graduated highschool and I am earning a masters.

It makes me smile to know that I might make them proud.

2/11/2007 - cold, smelly feet

and they go on...the days....happily.

pretty much anyway, except for my feet being slightly cold.

so every morning, i wake up to run from the my bed's warmth to the shower's warmth. Then turn off the water and slightly crack the shower curtian to squeeze the towel in with me. dry off as quickly as possible, open the curtain quickly and grasp at my very plush robe.

then i dry my hair on high. run the to the bedroom to grab the socks from atop the hot water radiator that i laid out the night before. iron my clothes. get dressed. boil water to have coffee with toast.

so, yes, it has been a little difficult for me to become acclimated to colder temperatures...

the worst part is,up until about now (10pm) i forget that my socks have been on since 8am.

2/6/2007 - old shoes

i need to throw my old shoes out, my old faithfuls. This only means i get to buy a new pair, but it's feakin cold out so i'll throw them out at the end of the week.

The water pipes froze, no water today, no shower, no dishwashing.

And my bestfriend, recently single again, cancelled our lunch date today. busy.  Her and I might be goiing through a weird time soon, I've never known her as single and she hasn't been single for a long time. I've been married for the last 8, so our conversations may get awkward in some near future. we'll see. change. lot's of change this year has brought.

Mostly, I'm on an upswing...had a midnight dinner rendevoir with my husband the other night. i still manage to get nervous and shool-girl like every once in a while. I've been laser cutting in one of my classes and reading a really interesting book...The Infinite Converstion by Maurice Blanchot.

Lost 5lbs last month, but kind stuck this week.

So it has been an almost perfect first month.

That's it.

1/24/2007 - yay for ground

So I went to class today to feed the brain. Then I clumsily sat, and will continue to for the rest of the semester, by the guy that we (the girls) refer to as The Hot Guy. We know his name but for some assenine reason revert to teenagers the second his presence is felt. well, i am married and it has come to my attention, that for that reason i am supposed to be the more mature of the four...so then, I have to make friends and play nice with the Hot Guy for the benefit of my single friends.

so it should be a fun semester.

oh! and i received a christmas present in the mail today from sister that ordered it on dec11. yay for ground.

1/21/2007 - ok

i was on the subway the other day and saw this really amazingly good looking guy. I mean there are alot of these types everywhere but this particular day this fellow seemed irrisistably hot. now my todd and i do not lack in the bedroom, so i can't figure why i suddenly started fantasizing about this guy. i mean really hard core fantasizing...he was your typical dark, punk, tattoo and tasteful facial hair, not in his twenties, but really rad for late thirties type of guy. i don't understand why now...i've never been one to fantasize more than a split second.

anyway,  well after i got out of the train i recalled an instance when todd and i went out to a club and caught ourselves staring at the same girl on the dance floor. I asked todd, "what were you JUST thinking when looking at her, honestly?"

he was honest to say the least. his responce was "well most guys, as i am one, is we imagine us(him) and them (her) in our favorite position." well he worded it differebtly as i don't feel like sharing his fave position.

my response when asked the same question about the girl was ,"i just can't believe how hot she is, where do these people come from?" we laughed.

so anyway for the first time, in the subway, i caught myself fantasizing  like my husband did then and i'm sure still does...not sure if it will become a norm but it sure was a surprise.

1/14/2007 - sweet!!!!

it's always nice to prepare, and sort of dread, to do something like go back to work or class.

i.e. to know that you have to jump in the shower at a certain time, be at the subway by a different time, and be at this place at a VERY specific time

BUT it's even better when your husband reminds you that tomorrow is holiday and there should be no classes.

1/12/2007 - connectivity and "sing"

so the whole everything is connected so nothing is different and all  is the same and so on and so on.

the blanket, the network, the web, the logorithm, the mother-nature, etc, all the same thing. the person, the thing, the energy, the thought all the same.

so there is a song by the dresdon dolls that needn't introduction (the song) if you know who they are...but just in case the song is "sing".

it a good song, that's all, as are many of their others but as the new year is here i thought it be a good note to start on.

a fan made this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaxMIOE8-J8&eurl

D.D. made this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxLyG0BJhJY

1/10/2007 - r.k.

BETWEEN

I take another peek up and down the corridor. for a loony bin, it's aweful quiet. Most rooms have double doors. The outside door only has a small glass window so you can look in at the crazies; the the inside door has bars. I'm sitting in the space between two doors.