Market Day problems. I hate it when somebody makes it their mission to revitalize Market Day. I hate the PFE (PTA) scenario. I got out of that years ago, with it's politics and meaninglessness. Sure it's great to earn money for the schools, (usually for parties, a beanbag chair for the library, etc.) but I've had it with sitting for 1/2 hr. while people debate whether to have water bottles or popsicles for Field Days. Ugh! I'm not Miss High Powered Career Executive who has no time for that, but I do have a job that keeps me VERY VERY busy. Even if I didn't, I think I'd rather have root canal than sit through that. Just pick one and move on. I don't look down on women who don't work, nor do I think that everybody PFE member is trying to satisfy her need for power and decision-making because this is her only outlet. But still......

Some career PFE people have taken interest in my Market Day sale site. That's right, I said 'my'. I appreciate the help, but I am used to making the decisions. I'm not talking about major decisions like money allocation, but just how things are done. If I want to pick up the forms from the schools, don't insist that someone bring them to my house. I know what works for me. I love that a Market Day customer and a person who has only been to one sale, take the liberty of meeting with the principal to design a table layout without consulting me. The weird thing is that these people never argue. I know that I am going to end up blowing up. In the real world, we would know who the boss is so we would know who has the final say. In the real world, I would say something like, "I appreciate your help and interest, but I am the site coordinator and I need to be able to make the final decision". Nobody ever says anything like that. They are all smiley-friendly. Of course, I have seen terrible fights erupt at the district meetings, but usually they are all smiley-smiley. Maybe I really don't give myself credit. Maybe these people have never had basic classes on how organizations run.

I can only hope that these people get bored or learn that this site is never going to make a million dollars, get a ton of volunteers for very long, etc.and go perform their heroics elsewhere in the district. In the meantime, I don't know how much more I can take. Since these people are not in the business-mode, I am going to have to redouble my assertive vs. aggressive communication. "Wow, it must have been hard for you to come up with a layout since you haven't had the benefit of seeing how the sales are fun. I wish I had known so I could have been there to help. I can always hav them rearrange things if..." Am I power hungry too? I suppose. I am definitely territorial. Extremely territorial. Usually people who are in the business mindset are wary of stepping on peoples toes. "I know that you would never (intentionally?) step on someone's toes, but I really need xyz to be abc". "

I'm doomed.

Of course, why do I need the hassle? What do I gain from it? Not money, that's for sure. My husband thinks that people think I get free food. My husband says that nobody volunteers because it's not a high profile position where they can stroke the principal. Worry that I'm going to overtax my legs moving boxes and worry that people will think that I'm just lazy. Calling 50+, sometimes ++++people to remind them to pick up their orders. Lugging  the orders to the freezer when they don't show up. Quieting my screaming kids who want to get home. My husband always tells me that I should offer them the position if they would like to run Market Day. I just don't want people telling me that I should do 'A' when I want to do 'B', when either is equally good. I remember from one of my early nursing courses more than 20 years ago that there is delegating, power, authority...if you are given a job to do, then you need to have the authority to carry it out. How did it go? You can delegate power, but not authority...I don't remember. But I am certain that if someone has a title/position, even a voluntary one, that it's not a good thing for people who have other titles to come in and start managing/changing things. At the very least I am going to have to say, "It is hard for me to keep track of the changes that other people are making. I'm not a major corporate person, but I am lost without an organization chart". Somehow I am going to have to take back control and stop things from getting out of hand.

I am doomed.

Working a 4 day next week. need to keep my sales focus to meet the goal. a little lagging right now, but i hope to make it up by the end of the month. 'move the middle' training is what it is. people just don't want to hear sales sales sales when they are calling to fix the problem they're having with their bill or svc.

just doing what i do, and asking what i have to ask. it'll be a long few days, hopefully worth the switch. just wanted to see how a 4 day would feel since i'm there almost that long on a normal wk. only diff is, no OT really. which may be a nice chng for spirit, but check will be lagging the wk after.

need to clean. i'm compulsive lately with what i fix and clean. need to get off of here. waste of my time. just trying to reconnect with people i've lost, but it's fruitless since i'm bad with keeping in touch once i reconnect. 2 kids, work, and a house can do it to ya. i like to spend time with my children. but i know i need time for me. it's learning the balance.

Tai Chi time.

Why do I think this is incredibly funny? The windshield wasn't even broken. I guess that's why they drive 'em. It sure paid off in her case. Go Granny! Go Granny!

Midlothian woman suffers minor injuries when she crashes into neighbor's home

All in all, it could have been worse for everyone involved Wednesday when an 81-year-old Midlothian woman accidentally drove her car through her garage, across the alley and into a neighbor's home.

The woman, whose name was not released, was treated and released Wednesday at a local hospital.

» Click to enlarge image

Midlothian police examine the scene of an accident after an elderly woman drove through a garage and into a home in Midlothian.

Brett Roseman, SouthtownStar

The neighbors, who were not home when the accident happened, have had to move in with relatives until the home can be made safe for occupancy.

It all started shortly before 5 p.m. when the woman pulled her Cadillac into her garage and the "accelerator apparently stuck." She smashed through the back of her garage, went through the yard, crossed the alley, went through the back yard of the house across the alley and crashed into the home, according to Midlothian Fire Chief Bill Sheehy.

The car went several feet into the home, he said.

The woman suffered minor facial injuries, officials said.

Its been a while since i've put some new pics of my girls on here... so here are a few. i'm so proud. my beautiful babies. they are my pride and joy. my reason. my motivation. my love

-My wrist has been bothering me lately, too much typing. Need to do something about the carpotunnel.

-Full from party-Gram's 80th surprise party at Aunt Bruna's, was nice. Kids behaved, for the most part.

-Nother long week ahead, 3 days with OT. Early mornings. At least the pay will be nice. Was told I'm suppose to get my pay raise this coming week which they did not give me in this week's check. I'll have to also watch for the OT I worked last week, after 6pm, some coworkers gave me the heads up to watch the hours, as some time it can be 'overlooked.'

-Liv got another Barbie, ballerina barbie, she can't live without it. Left it at Tita's house, and she kept saying, 'I need it mom.' I told Tita I'll pick it up tomorrow. She finally gave up when she realized I wasn't going to cave. Finally.

-K is sleeping. she was such a good happy full baby today. I'm glad. Lots of love.

-Saw Aunt Cathy, and it was nice. Love and Miss her. I love that the fam can be close. It reminds me of my childhood.

-Had a dream about Gramps last night. Prolly b/c I knew I was going to see Grams today. He was eating Potatoes. I love potatoes. He asked for more, took the bowl, smiled, and piled it on his plate. I love him. I miss him. Its been 2 months since I've visited his burial-place. I have to look up to see him, and in the sun, it's painful, just my eyes. Liv was in the car sleeping that morning. And I cried. I cry a lot when i think about him.

-Then I think I should see grams more often. She made a joke today about seeing me in 6 mo b/c there aren't any b-days near, and I smiled. but it hurts. I feel guilty. I love her, and i'm glad she's alive. but i also have 2 young children, and i work full time. i have a home and commitments around the house.

-saw Hope today, short reunion at Wallie-World with my shy gal Liv. Baby O. She hasn't seen her since she was a little over a year old. Lily and Terra were with us, that was well over a year ago.

-I'm not good with keeping in touch with people. if you want to get a hold of me, call me. if you think about meeting up, know i have my girls, and they're my priority, and if you desire my friendship know they're a package deal with me and where I go, they go. and... and... how many more can i fit in. hahah. I just don't have the time to pick up the phone during the day, and when I think about my friends, it is late night or inconvenient. it's not that i don't value our friendship, it's that you know i take motherhood seriously.

-Sis got me back into Tai Chi. it's nice. painfully sore, but has the desired effect. i feel so vitalized afterward, then I need to soak in the tub. *laughs heartily*

-United front at home. 7 years. ups and downs. mostly downs. i guess we have to start somewhere. somes days have been hard wondering when enough was enough, and how strong do i have to be to handle the heartache. now, i'm trying, but at the same time trying to ignore how i've been feeling again lately. not the best approach, but sometimes my ignoring is the best. i'd rather not fight. i'd rather not start that argument down that road again...

-i'm over worked, feeling under appreciated. stressed. broke.

-No, that's not right. I need to rethink myself a moment.

-I'm organized finacially and mindful of expenses, gaining strength in personal time management skills, and secure in a new life balance.

Tomorrow is Gram's 80th B-day, and nothings planned yet for a fiesta in her honor. I'm not going to bug out over it. I would like to do something, but heck, I can't even worry too much about the kids' birthday part I need to schedule in Sept. I am trying to destress.

In Sales training at work. Not sweating that either.

Had a part time job to start next week, but I can't overwork myself. Sis is right, I shouldn't have to worry about it. He should. I spent today cleaning upstairs including rearranging Liv's room, empying the kitty litter which only gets done 1x per week when I have the time to do it, loading the dishwasher, doing 2 loads of laundry on top of folding the 2 loads that were in the basket from last week, and mothering the kids this afternoon solo since Jim's out of commission. He fell of the roof this morning. This is going to be a long week.

*Sigh* i can't even vocalize anymore.

I found out last Tuesday I have cataracts in my left eye because of the daily use of the steriod for the Iritis/UVitis treatment. No choice but to continue it, making the cataracts worse, because if I stop the steriod it could cause glaucoma or blindness. 27. I'm 27 years old. I'm lucky for my two beautiful laughterfilled children. My little pretty pretty princesses. I have this terrible fear I'll end up blind and at their graduation ceremonies I won't be able to see them. On their wedding days the guests will tell me just how beautiful my baby girls look, but I won't be able to see them. a little eye surgery will help the cataracts, but I need to find a way to manage my Iritis. There's only so much that can be done when I have a chronic condition with the required treatment causing other conditions.

I think this worry, this on top of many others is why I'm so short with him lately. Why I'm angry all the time. Why I'm frustrated in general. Everyone has a struggle, everyone has a story. I can admit I am lucky for what I do have. And I have a wonderful family willing to help and who stands by me no matter what. I just take one day at a time. I take a deep breath. I close my eyes. I exhale, and I force a smile. I force a smile while the tears slowly roll down my cheeks. I'm a drama queen, don't listen to me.

Well, I need to check on my lasagna in the oven. Yes, I am also cooking lasagna with everything else today... I can manage. I hope.

A couple days later, an envelope came from my sister. I looked through it. It was a 'graduation announcement'. She actually mailed it after she made those kind statements to me. The nerve. She honestly does not get it. At the end it read, "No gifts requested". I'm sure!  FISHING! The highlight of our spring was that we had not received an invitation to a graduation party. They were hard to live through. Drive for hours, including picking up my parents. Sit there awkwardly among people I barely recognize and even more who are total strangers. Last time, a little kid of one of my brother-in-laws sister kept calling us names while the mother tried to hush her. Nice. My husband, who is much easier going than I am, about to get into fights with people because the northsiders think that soutsiders are "still picking corn out of our teeth", as my piano teacher puts it. Oops, that's my lifestyle again. In between wiping up dog pus from our 15-yr.-old whippet and separating fighting kids...I take a half-hour piano. So she insults me royally and then has the nerve to send me an announcement. I sent it back unopened. I knew she was graduating. I looked up the date and was going to send her a check. People who know them well enough will know that she's graduating (everybody graduates eventually, it's not like winning a Nobel Prize.) My mother's aunt Louise, whom she hadn't seen her in years would send us invitations to graduation parties that were like a 6 hour drive away. Fishing! Drove my mother up a wall. She  would absolutely kill my sister if she knew she did that. Interestingly, she did not send one to my father. I feel bad about not sending something to my neice, but who knows if  it would actually get to her? I always send them $25 each for their birthday in Aug. Sometimes it's late, a precedence way established by my sister. I never expected anything much for my kids from my sister, (and it's a darn good thing), but if you exchange even cards, then you kind of should not blow them off. We used to call each other's kids on their birthdays when they were young; she started skipping that years ago.

Then over the weekend she left a ranting voicemail at my husband's work: She claims she delayed her trip because I did not go to the nursing home on Friday. I actually did go, and what if I had postponed the day or got sick?  I think the staff is perfectly qualified to function on their own. I think my  big problem is that a)  I expect my sister, who is obviously mentall ill to act rationally, and I have no sympathy for her when she doesn't.My sister went on to say that my mother has bruises on her thigh and stomach!!! Duh, it's from heparin so she doesn't throw a clot. I'll bet she raised hell with the staff.  In the message to my husband, Carol  also addressed my kids' supporting me by saying that she doubts our kids' teachers would approve of such behavior. She really did say that. Does he think it's appropriate for me to involve the kids? Well, of course she's the perfect angelic churck lady...and hey, my kids wanted to look out for me. Heck, if they were Hatfields (to which I believe I'm related) they'd be out there with shotguns. Preachy preachy. Fire and  brimstone. Say one for me if you're so inclined!

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