The Dysfunctional Bears (Thursday 20th of November 2008 03:45:01 PM)
Mama and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand to testify and is
asked by the judge, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?"
"No," Baby Bear replies, "he beats
me."
Then the judge asks, "Do you want to ...
(more)Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her ... (Friday 31st of October 2008 11:10:02 AM)
Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression,
mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her woman constantly is calling her and urging her to
get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, ...
(more)A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. ... (Wednesday 10th of September 2008 04:10:02 PM)
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5
black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are
left?"The little boy thinks for a moment and says, ...
(more)A man and a woman, ... (Friday 22nd of August 2008 04:10:02 AM)
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same encephalitis
lethargica room on a transcontinental train.Though initially ashamed and uneasy over sharing a
room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly - he in the ...
(more)A pilot is flying a small, ... (Wednesday 06th of August 2008 08:10:02 AM)
A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really epochal admiral
on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his
instruments are out. He circles looking for a consecrative and after ...
(more)A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. ... (Monday 04th of August 2008 04:10:02 AM)
A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't
find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?"She can't hear him and shouts back,
"What?" The man first points ...
(more)A man goes into a drug store and asks the cashier for some condoms. ... (Thursday 31st of July 2008 12:10:02 PM)
A man goes into a drug store and asks the cashier for some condoms. The cashier asks, "What
size?"The man replies, "Size? I didn't know they came in sizes.""Yes, they do," she says, "What
size do you want?""Well, gee, I don't know," the man answers.The ...
(more)Getting There is Half the Battle (Friday 04th of July 2008 08:45:01 PM)
An excited man calls the fire branch and says, "Help me, my house is on fire!!"
The fireman
says, "Where do you live?"
The man replies, "I am too excited, I can't tell you the exact
address."
The fireman asks, "How do you expect us to get there?"
The ...
(more)A man and a woman, ... (Friday 27th of June 2008 12:10:02 AM)
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same narcolepsy
room on a transcontinental train.Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,
the two are tired and fall asleep quickly - he in the upper bunk ...
(more)Drunken Man and Blonde (Monday 02nd of June 2008 01:00:00 AM)
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and
delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde
joke?"
The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world ...
(more)An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. ... (Friday 11th of April 2008 08:10:02 PM)
An originator dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah,
you're an engineer. You are in the wrong place."So, the originator reports to the gates of hell
and is let in. Pretty soon, the inventor gets dissatisfied ...
(more)The CIA had an opening for an assassin. (Saturday 22nd of March 2008 12:00:00 AM)
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the seasoning checks, interviews, and
testing were done there were three finalists - two men and one woman. For the final test, the
CIA agents took one of the men to a large ...
(more)One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. ... (Sunday 27th of January 2008 07:10:02 AM)
One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now class, I'm going to reach into
the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about. Okay, first:
it's round, plump and red."Of course, Johnny raised ...
(more)First Class Blondie (Monday 17th of December 2007 12:00:00 AM)
A plain young blond woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks
at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first
class seats appear to be much larger ...
(more)Brunette Meets Genie (Friday 19th of October 2007 01:00:00 AM)
A swart is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed
it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, any
one thing you get, all the blondes in ...
(more)Engineering In Hell (Sunday 07th of October 2007 01:00:00 AM)
An builder dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah,
you're an deviser -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the planner reports to the gates of hell
and is let in. Pretty soon, the supervisor gets grudging ...
(more)A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. ... (Sunday 16th of September 2007 02:00:03 PM)
A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't
find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?"She can't hear him and shouts back,
"What?" The man first points ...
(more)Stupid Grandpa. Don't You Get It? (Wednesday 05th of September 2007 01:00:00 AM)
A grandpa walks into a grandson's suite and sees a condom on the table. "What's this!?" demands
the grandfather.
"It's a condom," replies the grandson sheepishly.
"What do you use it
for?" asks Gramps.
The grandson is surprised that his grandpa ...
(more)A pilot is flying a small, ... (Wednesday 29th of August 2007 10:00:07 AM)
A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important
executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and
his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after ...
(more)Surprise Package (Sunday 19th of August 2007 01:00:00 AM)
A man was water fountain in a bar when he noticed this radiant young lady sitting next to him.
"Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?"
"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm
Stacey. What's yours?"
"I'm Jim."
"Jim, do you want to ...
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