A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital emergency room. ... (Monday 03rd of November 2008 03:10:02 PM)
A man has a heart attack and is brought to the mash unit quandary room. The doctor tells him
that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the
room and says, "you're in luck, two hearts ...
(more)It got crowded in heaven, ... (Tuesday 14th of October 2008 04:10:02 AM)
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really
had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was existing at the pearly gates and said to the
first man, "Tell me about ...
(more)No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man. ... (Sunday 12th of October 2008 12:10:02 PM)
No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man. The game warden asked him how he
did it so the man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day ...Once they
got to the middle of ...
(more)There was a fly looking at some food in a river. ... (Monday 22nd of September 2008 12:10:02 AM)
There was a fly looking at some food in a river. The fly thought, "If I go down, I can get the
food!"There was a fish looking at the fly. The fish thought, "If the fly goes down to get the
food, I can get ...
(more)A man, down on his luck, went into a church which catered to the "uppity". ... (Sunday 31st of August 2008 12:10:02 AM)
A man, down on his luck, went into a church which catered to the "uppity". Spotting the man's
dirty clothes a deacon, worried about the churches image, went to the man and asked him if he
needed help. The man said, "I was praying and ...
(more)A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. ... (Tuesday 26th of August 2008 12:10:02 PM)
A man is driving up a steep, narrow bank road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they
pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"The man nowadays leans out
of his window and replies, "BITCH!"They each renew ...
(more)The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for ... (Tuesday 26th of August 2008 08:10:02 AM)
The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past 7
months. The surgeon
notes:the word doctor is derived from latin doctus 'having been taught;
learned' (from docere 'to teach'); medic comes from latin physica 'natural ...
(more)An elderly couple go to their doctor for a checkup. ... (Sunday 24th of August 2008 08:10:02 PM)
An elderly couple go to their doctor for a checkup. The man goes in first. "How're you doing?"
asks the doctor. "Pretty good," answers the old man. "I'm eating well, and I'm still in control
of my bowels and bladder. In fact, when I get ...
(more)One day at the rest home, an old man and woman are talking. ... (Saturday 09th of August 2008 04:10:02 AM)
One day at the rest home, an old man and woman are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, "I
can guess your age."The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try."Pull down
your pants," she says.He doesn't discern but does ...
(more)A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. ... (Monday 04th of August 2008 04:10:02 AM)
A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't
find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?"She can't hear him and shouts back,
"What?" The man first points ...
(more)A man goes into a drug store and asks the cashier for some condoms. ... (Thursday 31st of July 2008 12:10:02 PM)
A man goes into a drug store and asks the cashier for some condoms. The cashier asks, "What
size?"The man replies, "Size? I didn't know they came in sizes.""Yes, they do," she says, "What
size do you want?""Well, gee, I don't know," the man answers.The ...
(more)Three young women in there thirties are on a road trip and are tearing down the ... (Wednesday 30th of July 2008 12:10:02 PM)
Three young women in there thirties are on a road trip and are tearing down the freeway.
unfortunatley, they lose control, the car flips over the guard rail on to the polar lanes and
gets smashed by an eighteen wheeler.Up at the pearly gates, all ...
(more)Getting There is Half the Battle (Friday 04th of July 2008 08:45:01 PM)
An excited man calls the fire branch and says, "Help me, my house is on fire!!"
The fireman
says, "Where do you live?"
The man replies, "I am too excited, I can't tell you the exact
address."
The fireman asks, "How do you expect us to get there?"
The ...
(more)Shaping Up for a Good Excuse (Wednesday 25th of June 2008 06:55:34 PM)
This Policeman pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph
zone.
"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.
"Not by the book to my radar," the officer
replied.
"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.
"No you ...
(more)A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. ... (Tuesday 17th of June 2008 04:10:02 PM)
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his
wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their cordon off beds, however the man was not yet
ready to slumber. The man called over ...
(more)Drunken Man and Blonde (Monday 02nd of June 2008 01:00:00 AM)
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and
delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde
joke?"
The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world ...
(more)Satanic Starbucks (Friday 23rd of May 2008 01:00:00 AM)
A man died and went to unblended down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour
of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend
eternity.
The first room was ...
(more)One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. ... (Tuesday 13th of May 2008 12:10:02 PM)
One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry, pal.
No pets allowed."The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll
see."The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on ...
(more)Cat On A Hot Tin Roof (Friday 25th of April 2008 01:00:00 AM)
A man left his cat with his brother while he went on leave for a week. When he came back, the
man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said,
''I'm so sorry, but while you ...
(more)KFC: Our Daily Chicken (Monday 21st of April 2008 01:00:00 AM)
A detail man from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change
"The Lord's Prayer" from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily
chicken." The Pope refused his offer.
Two ...
(more)A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the ... (Friday 18th of April 2008 08:10:02 AM)
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He
asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem ...In response the doctor said, "When you
feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling ...
(more)The Stupid Nomad (Tuesday 08th of April 2008 01:00:00 AM)
A man is riding pell-mell through the desert on a donkey. He is not hungry or thirsty, because
he has a fire and brimstone* bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets
pretty horny. He gets to the point where ...
(more)A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, ... (Friday 28th of March 2008 07:10:02 AM)
A woman was paying for some items in a stand - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag
of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't
you?""Well yes, I am," the woman ...
(more)Under the Influence (Sunday 09th of March 2008 12:00:00 AM)
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I screwed
your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.
Again, he hears, ''Your mom
was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries ...
(more)Unspeakable (Thursday 06th of March 2008 08:02:11 PM)
A man walks into his doctor's office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It
said, "I can't talk! Help me!"
The doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his
thumb on the table. The man thinks to himself ...
(more)It got crowded in heaven, ... (Monday 03rd of March 2008 07:10:02 AM)
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really
had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was postgraduate work at the pearly gates and
said to the first man, "Tell me ...
(more)The Hamster Show (Sunday 03rd of February 2008 12:00:00 AM)
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him
being amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and
singing "Tuff Enuff" by the astounding ...
(more)A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor." ... (Thursday 31st of January 2008 07:10:02 PM)
A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor.""Don't do that,"
volunteered his friend, "there's a new compatible at the drugstore that can diagnose any
problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put ...
(more)Man, Woman, Sleeping Compartment (Friday 01st of February 2008 12:00:00 AM)
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same encephalitis lethargica
conveyance of a train.
After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the
top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night ...
(more)Drinking Politics (Saturday 12th of January 2008 12:00:00 AM)
A man wearing a just pin walks into a bar and sees a picture of feds* Bush hanging behind the
bartender. He calls the bartender over and says, "You should take that picture down. George
Bush is a blight upon this nation. He should ...
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