It's finally happened! A meeting between The Capitan Of The Guard and my Primary Care Physician has resulted in a decrease in my Morphine daily dosage. The doctor has cut me back from 200 Mgs. a day to 120 Mgs. I'm going to punish the shit out of The Capitan when I get out of here! I've been stripped of my dignity and robbed of everything I held dear, my self-esteem and my will to live! I no longer wish to participate in this thing called life! I want out but I had to be a sucker and let my ex-wife talk me into having a kid! Now my whole life is ruined! But this is ok and too shall pass my Captor's heart is going to be broken when I sever all ties but hey that person should have thought ahead instead of trying total domination! This has gone too far I've let people walk all over me for far too long from now on I will allow noone to dominate me I'm far too old to be treated like a child and controlled it's gone way too far! I will make my mind known come April and May it's going to be good getting everything off my chest and back certian people have taken far too many liberties and I'm the fool for having allowed it to happen I feel like causing myself great physical harm for being so stupid but that thought is stupid too so I sit here in a wallow of self-loathing! NO MORE! I will never allow another to do this to me again for the rest of my life I swear this creed no other shall ever dominate me again! My ex-wife has agreed to come get me in May and take me far away from this hell hole and I can't wait I have enough in my medical records to get another doctor to titrate my pain level as long as I don't abuse I will not not this time not ever again! I want to go back to Boston and get back under Dr. Bill's care he was taking good care of me and I want him back as my Primary care doctor at least he understood the situation! The Capitan oOf The Guard will fail in the quest to change me I will not allow it to happen! I will not be changed I like where I'm at and always will! There will be better times ahead for me. I will get far away from this place and be with my true family not these adopted people who want only to control and dominate me! As I said earlier NO MORE! The Capitan Of The Guard has invested much time in trying to change me and it will be with great pleasure when I hand The Capitan the agony of defeat! I will hurt you yes you deserve it for what you have done to me! No physical pain no emotional it's far more dibilitating to the soul. The body heals but the soul remains scarred. This I know first hand for my soul has deep rifts yes quite deep indeed and The Capitan has only managed to rend them deeper! I will get out I will escape I will go far away and I will sever all ties this will hurt The Capitan yes it will! But hopefully it will serve a lesson that it should never happen again to anyone! I will close now with profound sadness I will lay my head upon the pillow this night. But I will not pray for a better tomorrow, for I know my prayers will never be answered! I hope you are happy father! You have ruined my life from beyond the grave and if I should ever meet you in the next realm should there be one I hope for the chance at vengence!