2/18/2010 - A better day I hope!
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A new day, I hope for my sake that it's better than yesterday, but all things considered it will most likely be another disaster! It seems lately that one day is worse than the previous. And every day thereafter gets progressivly worse! I tried to tell The Capitan that my being here was a bad idea but what the hell do I know and now relations are wearing razor thin which is very bad for me! I'm going to end up homeless again and lose everything again! I pray it doesn't happen that way! I will give or do almost anything to prevent that from happening except to admit to something I am not guilty of! Or something that is suspect. I will not be drawn in by that trick! Someone evedently says "We know what you told that person so why not just admit to it!" That's the biggest con game in the history of man! The Capitan tried to lure me into that one earlier and I would not fall into it no way no how! I may make big mistakes from time to time but mostly even though they are big they are honest mistakes I do very little out of malice in my life. I try not to hurt people needlessly who have not hurt me in some way shape or form first. in fact I believe it to be counter productive to talk about someone behind their backs it usually blows up in your face at some point. I refuse to believe that the person I confided in betrayed me considering I have dirt on that person as well even though they don't believe me to be a threat I was under the impression that we had a mutual agreement concerning The Capitan. Perhaps I could be wrong I'll try to find out next Tuesday if I can. $200.00 will buy me a way out I just have to get there with the cash I'm hoping that I'll be able to accomplish that next month for sure I want to be out of here soon my mind and emotional center are dangerously overloaded at this point and I'm really close to snapping again. I can feel my cheese sliding off my cracker again! I need to go before I really screw up and get myself into some hardcore legal trouble! I must call my exwife tomorrow and see what she can do for me it's beyond time to move on I wish I had been more firm in my refusal to come here all of this wouldn't be happening right now and I'd be reasonably happy of course I'd still be bangging away on my IBM most likely or perhaps I would have bought something a little newer. In any case I have my Gateway Lappy now and I plan on holdong on to it for dear life this one is not going to go the way my Solo 5300 went no sir no way! Enough for now good thing nobody reads this slop! |
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