Greetings, once again!

My first assignment or suggestion from Mr. Henderson: Write about Alan.

Who is Alan? Alan, or Mr. Alan, as most everyone addressed him as, was my husband. He died in my arms on April, 21 2009. He was only 59 years old when he died the first time. This was the day of his second death. It was totally unexpected. He had just finished physical therapy to rebuild his strength. Alan had died the first time on July 6, 2009 from too much medication that the hospital had given him. He had went to the hospital, because he had the flu and he just felt miserable, no matter what he did. They found he was dehydrated and needed fluids immediately. They gave him a medication that literally stop his breathing. It took them almost eight minutes to bring him back. He was in a comma for two weeks. They thought if he did come out of the comma, he would not even know who I was.

He did come out of the comma, and his first words were, "Hello Sweetheart". He had nothing wrong with him, other than being weak, a small speech defect and an irregular heart beat. But, he was alive and he would come home and I was so thankful for that. I missed him terribly. He was in the hospital for one month and then transferred to a rehabilitation center for another month. They did not want him to come home, unless we had physical therapists that would be at our home, twice a week.

I put a leave of absence from my employment, arranged for a physical therapist to come twice a week and a nurse who would come once a week. Done! We were set. Home he came.

I am thankful for the extra two and a half years "fate" had given us, but "fate" wasn't all that kind, to have even let it happen, in the first place.

Alan had given me so much in life, but the most cherished gifts were friendship, respect, love, laughter and admiration of the devotion we gave to each other. The struggles with money issues, we endured because of our friendship and even those times were happy ones. When our lives had prosperity, we found exciting new adventures we shared together. When illness came, our friendship and love became a strong foundation of hope and not giving up.

When Alan died, nothing ended, other than his pain, struggles and breath. His kindness, love, devotion and true since of what he wanted for me ..... is always here.

What did he want for me? He wanted me to never live in the past, unless I needed a smile, a hug, a kiss, a friend, or a word of encouragement, then... by all means look back and relieve it.

This was so very hard to write, but the year 2009 needs closure, in order for my choice of, which path to explore next, is within vision and the right one. I hope! (I should have listened to my friend, and not written this, but I did and now, life goes forward.)