Sarah at 4 and 1/2

already knew it was wrong -

she had been listening and learning

fo a long time -

4 and 1/2 years is a long time

when you are only 4 and 1/2 years old.

they want you..it said..

she didn't look at whoever it was..

to be the pig-hole keeper -

she knew what it was

but she'd rather not remember

or think about it -

she tried to blot out the memories

and not shake and not feel sick

or be angry -

all you have to do is give them the needle

and be nice to the people who come to pick them up.

then when you see them anywhere lose your memory.

you have to start now so you can learn the cut-offs so

you're used to forgetting and then you will be worked in

about 13 years old and go from there,

they think you are so smart

that you can help modern medicine by your findings.

for they are going to try to train the world

to eventually use dope thru sex and training children

from when they are too young to understand

and retrain the public acceptances gradually

for what is now called horror

to become known as normal and natural.

someone is trying to become very rich

(yeah thought Sarah.. the wrong way)

and they want you to help them

and you can alleviate..they said..suffering

along the way

with your fine mind and knowledge

but let the monies go to the deserving person

who becomes rich

a spiritual person like you doesn't want money

they will give you what you need..

Sarah felt sick again..

she tried not to panic..

no she said finally able to speak..

 a tear dripped down the side of her face..

Spirit cried she said.

she reiterated more emphatically -

no I will not

no..

the person was shaking their head

she said ..no.. and mentioned Spirit again..

the person will insult you publicly then

said the voice

something about a 'witch'..

Sarah felt another drop fall on her face

'witch' was so beautiful under normal conditions

it meant wisdom and Sarah already had a picture

of wisdom in her mind

it was a dark page with a small beautiful white glow on it

how anyone could want to destroy that

Sarah could not imagine

how it came to be there like that

in her mind

it just felt so natural and right

she did not understand this other horrible mess.

she doesn't care said the voice adamantly

about your catholic religion

she's a small child and she doesn't like you

or your money or your training

alright i'll find someone else

Sarah sighed inside with relief

she was off the hook

it wasn't until later

that she wore the brutality of the sickie

at the other end of the phone

thru a paid butcher

she put the story together herself many years later

after enough had happened to show her

the means and methods of the group...

but how could she put it together

until she was older

and might remember and that

is what the caller wanted

children who would forget.

Many years later Sarah

would piece together the horrid story

and try to tell it to herself

piece by piece until she knew

the whole thing in order to prevent it

from happening to her.

To have knowledge

to be forearmed and forewarned

helps prevention of crime against you.

There was a group of rich rich people

in powerful positions

who kept 'pig-holes'

if the pig-hole knew it was considered

as a receptacle or 'toggle-bolt'

or companion sexpartner or wife or husband

and co-operated

it would be trusted enough

to be treated as though with respect

but it was expected to continue its injections

and heavier doses as the instigating initiator

and companion grew into stronger cravings

for the dope needled and needled again into the 'companion'

or 'pig-hole's' body..

the whole thing made Sarah feel sick for the person..

and so the person in the important position..

Sarah realized..

was looking clean

and his or her companion or spouse was not...

but mostly noone knew or even cared

at least to Sarah and the other victims

it seemed that way.

but she knew they were blaming the needle recipient

if the person got caught using the powders

because the needle holes examined by police doctors

were obvious and besides

Sarah knew from listening and being abused by these crooks

and by the stories the others

and even children had told her

that if one person is needle doping

or taking anything at all

that the one they are close with

and share bodies with in sex

gets part of that dope influence in their system too

that's why they were doing it

but the one who was using the doped one

kept demanding more and more ingestion

and absorption by them

that's why they called them pig-holes

nasty thought Sarah at eight years old

when they mentioned the subject in front of her

again

as she refused once more..

foul said Sarah out loud at fifteen..

you..said the voice..

will not make sixteen and innocent..

for i will see to it

for telling me 'no'!

I hope they catch you one day

thought Sarah.

why should the world have to live under

the insult of something like that -

meanwhile the pig-holes- went on

maybe not even knowing

and being in a drunken psychosis

agreeing and agreeing and

agreeing with a needle

of blank-out and who am i

and until death do we part

and wearing the ineffable beauty

of the needle of bliss

until too late the ugly

and cannot be returned

to the natural

for a cruel taskmaster

is the powder within

or without

and so is Nature

exploited and disravined

and disrupted

and made un-normal

and somethings never change

back to normal for once

disturbed never fixed

and the wrong angel of death

stalked the people

making pig-holes of normal babies

with a needle

calling victims prostitutes

and sausage meat on farms

and giving gifts of sausage to

those who told on drugs

and then telling the police

that they were cannibals.

all the old prostitutes of

twenty-two go there

they told Sarah at 5

you will too

because we will force you

to be a prostitute

and end up at the sausage factory

Sarah shivered her whole life long

when she remembered

for she knew it was

she knew they did this

but nowhere did she see it in the news.

Say Sarah