The Girl In The Window

 She was as Irish as "Patty's Pig", yet her olive skin glowed with evidence  that she had the blood of the Spanish Conquistador's. Her eyes sparkled as she sat by her window and I wondered who this vision of an Angel could be. I wanted to say something, but she was three stories up. When she stood to look at me my heart throbbed wildly with excitement. Her cut off shorts showcased a beautiful pair of legs.

 "How could I only be living two blocks away from her and never have noticed her before,?" I wondered to myself.

 But then sadness crept into my heart when I remembered that I was on Grandma's block and I did everything to avoid walking on her block since she had passed away a few years ago, because I missed her and was so pained when ever I walked on the street were she once lived.

 Then I remebered that I was on that street because my Mom had asked me to pick up something at the store that day and I had to pass by there to get to that store. So I continued on to the store and never gave the girl in the window another thought again.

 Time passed and I started to feel very lonely soon after my high school sweet heart went to California to become a professional figure skater. A lot of girls liked me but I wasn't very happy dating them because none of them could fill the void of Maureens amazing intellectual capacity.

 Determined to search the world for my sould mate I joined the Navy. I met every type of woman that inhabited planet earth. Some were beautiful, some were very bright, but alas, none of them qualified to be my soulmate. Soon after leaving the Navy, I settled down to a mundane life again and very ordinary dating that while being okay, always seemed to lack that special ingredient.

 But often times I wondered if there really ever could be a recipe for a soul mate. Was I just a hopeless romantic that was setting a goal that was just forever out of reach. Then I would wonder how I would even know if I found a soul mate.

 I thought, "Will a bell go off in my head or something."

 But as time passed and I dated many beautiful women the empty feeling deep down inside me remained. No matter what I did, I was incomplete. I was desperate to feel whole, but wholeness still eluded me. I even turned to online dating sites to see if what I was looking for was out there somewhere.

 Then one day I went into a rant on an online dating site because they didn't have a box to check that said spiritual but not religious and it disturbed me deeply to think that people on that site might get the idea that I'm not spiritual just because I don't follow any one religion with lock stop authority.

 To my surprise I got a trememdous amount of letters in response to my religious tirade and having a photographic memory I stumbled upon one of the letters that contained the profile picture of that girl in the window that had lived two blocks away from where I once lived. I made no mention of that too her. I even teased her a bit and told her I thought she was Italian.

 I kind of liked her and we exchanged a few messages that at first were all about religion and nothing else. Then after a while she mentioned that she was a writer and she had read some of the things that I had written. As weeks marched on I complained to her that I was having trouble with my studies for a ten hour test I have to take soon for a certification. And then she wrote that she said a prayer that I would pass the test.

 And then all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had taveled all the way around the world to find my soul mate, but all that time, she was only living two blocks away from me.

8:55 PM - 9/3/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

The Script About My Ass

  Does anyone remember those early high school days? You know, the time when most of us started to discover the opposite sex in ernest, but we still weren't completly evolved yet. I can still remember those early day high school parties that we had.

 You know, those parties that you would have at a friends house where all the guys would gravitate to the kitchen, and all the girls would gravitate to an up stairs bed room to talk girl talk. We all thought we were so cool. Some guy would always find a way to sneak a six pack of beer into the kitchen and another guy would always have a pack of cigarettes.

 We would all take a small glass of beer and light up a cigarette and talk about what a buzz we were getting. While we were getting our little beer and cigarette buzz, we would start talking about what girls we thought were hot. Sometimes I wondered why the girls came to the party at all, they, always seemed to be upstairs.

 All that changed after a while, but it was a real evolutionary process. But while we were evolving, sure, all the guys knew about all the guy talk in the kitchen, but no one ever knew anything about what the girls were talking about upstairs. Well, that is almost no one knew.

 I overheard a very rare earshot of a conversation I wasn't supposed to hear. It was all very innocent of course, but rather interesting. This is how it all happened. I had to use the bathroom.

 I knocked on the door, and one of my friends said, "I'm going to be in here for a while because I feel like I'm going to puke."

 I thought okay, "I will use the upstairs bathroom."

 I got almost to the top of the stairs and I heard all kinds of laughter coming from the girls in the bedroom.

 I thought, "I wonder what it is thats so funny that they are laughing about?"

 Then I heard one of the girls say, "yeah that Kevin has the tightest ass."

 And another girl chimed in, "I couldn't keep my eyes off of his ass for the entire football game."

 I realised then, "They, were talking about my ass."

  I thought, "no one cares about all the touch downs I got or all the great plays I made. They're just watching my ass."

 Then another girl yelled, "yeah, I love that back field in motion."

 Another girl chimed in, "yeah, I just love seeing Kevin's ass in those tight football pants."

 "I'd love to squeeze those tight bunns," another voice cried out.

 And yet another voice said, "I get goose bumbs just thinking what it would be like to wrap my legs around his tight ass."

 Well, at first I was devestated.

 I thought, "all that pumping iron, all that hair blowing, all that expensive cologne."

  And what are all the girls looking at? "Its my ass, just my ass."

 Then I thought, "well, I better keep this little secret to myself."

 I thought, "if I tell anyone I overheard this conversation, they'll never be able to keep it a secret and it will get back to the girls."

 They kept talking and talking about my ass, but I couldn't listen any longer, I really did have to use the bathroom. So I used the bathroom and quietly slipped back down stairs again. Now I really needed a beer and a cigarette. So, I gulped down an entire can of beer and had a cigarette. But then I really started to feel weird.

 I thought, "woh, no more of that stuff."

  But then I started to think, "hmmm, maybe I can capitalize on this ass thing."

 I applied for a summer job, and the girl said, "oh, sorry, we have no more openings."

  Then she said, "your shoe lace is untied."

 I bent down to tie it. And then she said, "oh, I'm sorry, I made a mistake, we do have an opening."

 Now, I'm thinking, "hmmm, is this just a coincidence? Or was she really checking me out when I bent down to tie my shoe lace?"

 Then I would start to notice other little oddites. Everytime I walked into the office to look for a file I would hear all this typing. But as soon as I would turn my back and start looking for a file all the typing would stop. And then as soon as I got the file and turned around again, the typing would suddenly resume.

 "Another strange coincidence," I suppose.

 When I got my first paycheck from my summer job, I thought, "its time to do a little shopping."

 Yeah, I was going pants shopping, tight pants shopping.

 I thought, hmmm, how tight can I get pants to fit?"

 Then I headed out with my new tight pants. Wow, was I getting smiles.

 I thought, "screw the gym. The heck with pumping iron. I had it all together in one neat package."

 Then school resumed again, and I thought, "hmmmm, I wonder if I can get my marks boosted a bit higher if I have all female teachers?"

 So, I went in to see the Guidance Counselor, and asked, "could I have all female teachers?"

 "Why do you want all female teachers,?" he asked.

 I said, "I seem to pay attention better."

 He said, "well, I can give you all female teachers, except for gym class."

 "Great," I said.

 I couldn't beleive the difference. With all female teachers my marks were soaring. Every once in a while I would drop my pen or something in class and pick it up real slow just for insurance.

 What was really weird though, was that I was getting even better at football. It started to feel good just thinking that I was giving the girls a thrill. I felt like they weren't cheering for the team, but rather they were really cheering for me.

 After a while, I kind of even developed a little back field in motion wiggle. The girls were going wild.

 I thought, "hey, if you got it, flaunt it."

 When I graduated high school, I was hired by a Wall Street brokerage firm, but I had to take a medical exam before I could start working. I looked out the window in the Doctors examining room in awe at the sky line.

 As I marveled at the sites, I felt a hand tap on my shoulder. I turned my head to see a Nurse standing there.

 She said, "I have to take your temperature."

 As she held the therometer in her hand I opened my mouth expecting her to slip it in.

 She smiled and said, "no, this isn't going in your mouth."

 I asked, "where else can it go?"

 She said, "drop your pants and shorts and find out."

 I complied and as I layed down on my stomach, I could feel her stick the therometer up my butt.

 She started to chat with me and after a long while, I kind of wondered to myself, "why is she taking so long to pull the therometer back out of my butt?"

 Just then the Doctor walked in and asked the Nurse, "why are you taking his temperature in this fashion?"

 Her face now a bit blushed, she exclaimed. "oh I had some medical questions to ask him, and he couldn't answer them if the therometer was in his mouth."

 I thought, "hmmm, medical questions. I couldn't remember her asking me any medical questions."

 Then I thought, "hmmm, another one of those coincidences."

 The Doctor asked, "so whats the temperature?"

 With that she pulled the therometer from my butt at last, and said, "your temperature is perfectly normal. And what department will you be working in?"

 Special Note: This story is just a segment taken from the epic adventure story named Tiffany Stone(The Story)

7:22 PM - 9/3/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Was I Talking To An Angel?

  I couldn't believe that I was all alone with part of the cross that Christ had carried. It felt so strange to think that just an ordinary person such as myself would now be in the presence of the symbol that had forever changed the world. Just a short while ago I had sailed the seven seas and had behaved like quite an ordinary sailor.

 But somehow my fate had now been cast with the Metropolitan Museum Of Art. Yes, I had a New York State Regents that certified that I was qualified for my position, but I had never taken Art very seriously other than to admire the works of the great ones. My most viable skill had always been accounting. But of course I became bored out of my mind by it, thus ending up in the Navy seeking adventure.

 I had been brought up as a Catholic, so of course I thought that religion must be some sort of an extension of Bingo. Despite going to eight years of Catholic grade school, they never let us within 200 feet of a  real Bible, so my entire concept of religion was that everything that was fun to do was a sin. We were taught that it was a mortal sin if a woman wore pants. And even if you never had sex with a woman, you were going  to hell if you even thought about it, unless you were married to her. So after coming to the conclusion that they were all out of their birds that went tweet, tweet, tweet, I decided to join the Navy and catch up with all those fun sins I had been missing out on.

 But now it was time to settle down and to have a normal job again. So, still bored with accounting, I played my art card and got a job with the Metropolitan Museum Of Art. But so much of the world had changed since all the years I had been away. I was surrounded by celebrities but I hardly knew who any of them were. I remember some crazed woman screaming at me one day demanding to know where her Gold Plates had been moved to. When I asked her why she was so concerned about what was going on in the Rockerfeller Wing she said, "don't you know that I'm Happy Rockerfeller?"

 So when the Vatican sent us the cross that Christ had carried I hadn't even been aware that it had ever existed. As I stared in amazement I heard the sound of someone coming toward me with the sound of a clanging key. It was a black guy dressed in a very faded looking suit.

 "How did you get in here,?" I asked

 "Oh, I have a key to every space in the Museum," he said.

 "Well, you'll have to sign your name on this list. They want a listing of anyone that's in this special gallery with the cross."

 "I'm always here, but I'll sign this anyway," he said.

 "I've never noticed you here before. Why are you hear anyway,?" I asked.

 "I came here because I wanted to meet you in person," he said.

 "I think you took a wrong turn somewhere, I'm not a celebrity," I quipped.

 "Yes, you're not, but you're more entertaining than you can imagine," he said.

 "Oh. I guess you heard about my not knowing who Dudley Moore was. The poor guy. He seemed so nice, but I never heard of his "Arthur" movie. I've just about been living in the jungle the last few years. They didn't have any "Arthur" movies there, but a woman I had been staying with seemed to be quite amused at the site of two lizards making love on her bedroom wall. I mean who needs "Arthur" when you have that kind of entertainment." I said.

 "So you don't know any of them,?" he asked.

 "I remembered who Tony Randall was. He walked into the office to see one of the paintings that's hidden from the public."

 He looked at the painting and then looked at me, and took a deep breath, and said "You're so lucky to be working here and being around all this wonderful art."

 I answered, "yes I am, but I'm quite willing to trade jobs."

 "So thats it?" he asked.

 "Oh, just one more. After several months of talking to her someone mentioned she was the President's daughter. And I thought she was so entertained with my sea stories at lunch time. I can't believe I never made the connection."

 She would say things like, "my Dad was in the Navy, my Dad was on a PT Boat."

 "I guess its a good thing I'm a Democrat."

 "So does America seem different to you after all those years,? he asked.

 "Well, this may sound strange to say, but I feel as if America has gotten a soul since I've been away. It seemed to hit me all at once while I was walking down the street the other day. I heard this voice that sounded like an Angel emanating from a Tavern. I had to go in and see who it was singing on the juke box. I found that it was someone calling herself Madonna and the name of the song was called "Like A Prayer,"   and what really struck me was that she didn't seem like the typical kind of person that would be singing a song that had vast religious connotations."

 "Why do you say that?," he asked.

 "Well, I had observed first hand what I thought at the time was a regional fringe religious movement. The people were very nice. They told me about things that they expected to happen in the future. I listened to be polite, but I really didn't understand it or even imagine the scope that it would encompass. It was just so strange. I was having lunch and a beautiful girl invited me to a party. But it was a party with cool aid and people playing religious music. At first, the only one there that made any sense to me was the girl's twelve-year-old sister that asked me if I thought she could ever become Miss America. I told her if that's what she really wanted, yes, someday she would become Miss America. And I guess she had faith in my judgement because she really did become Miss America," I said.

 "So, what sort of things did they tell you,?" he asked?

 "They told me that there would be a vast religious movement that would emanate in America and then travel to all corners of the world. But, at least, at the time, it was beyond anything that I could comphrehend. It just seemed so strange. She was one of the most beautiful woman I had ever met, but yet, romance wasn't on her mind, but rather she told me that she wanted to save my soul."

 "And did she save your soul,? he asked.

 "No she didn't. I just couldn't believe all the things she was telling me. I really couldn't fathom the idea that someone could be that good. But as I traveled I began to understand what she was saying. When I looked out at the vast oceans and then I saw natives that swam with sharks that were protected by their faith it all started to make sense. I mean I'm not even saying that there is a God for sure, but there is something. When I was sailing in the waters where Christ had fished I could feel some sort of presence. I felt an alpha and omega." I said.

 "There is a God. I have that from the highest authority. Trust me," he said.

 "Didn't Richard Nixon once say trust me,?" I quipped.

 "Oh yes, he did, didn't he. I guess now I'll have to come up with a new cliche," he said.

 Just then there was a knock on the door. As I got up to see who was at the door I observed my visitor and his clangy key melting into the Museum wall. The knock at the door was someone letting me know about the updated instructions from the Vatican. When I asked him if he knew who the guy was that signed the visitor book his face turned flush white as he said "that guy worked here, but he's been dead for fifteen years."

9:38 PM - 9/1/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Sleeping With Another Man's Wife

 As my ship pulled further away from Port my pain grew until it became unbearable. If there were a God left that I still beleived in I would have prayed that I could have been transformed into a woman, so I could cry away the pain I felt.

 "Are you okay,?" my ship mate asked.

 "I'll never see her again and I'm just feeling a little dead inside."

 "Oh, is that all it is Mack? If ever I saw a woman love a man, Theresa loves you with all her heart and will be right here waiting for you when we return."

 "I'm not ever returning Mike. My years extension is up next week and I'm not extending any more. There is nothing left of me any more. I left my heart and my soul, back at that last Port."

 "You mean you're just going to walk out on it all Mack. Why, just tell me why."

 "I wanted to have a child with her Mike but she told me she couldn't."

 "You could adopt if she can't have a child Mack."

 "No, that's not the reason Mike. She's married. She's been married all along and never told me till last night when I asked her about having a child."

 "You mean you've been sleeping with another mans wife for over a year Mack. Why didn't she ever tell you?"

 "She said she thought I would leave her if I knew and she saw another woman with me in the tarot cards and wanted me while she could."

 Putting his arm around Macks shoulder Mike said, "I'm sorry Mack, I know how much she meant to you."

 "Thanks Mike, but you'll really never know what she meant to me. No one will ever really know. There was just no one like her."

 "How did you meet her anyway Mack."

 "I asked her if she was Jesus if you want to know the truth Mike.

 "And what did she say when you asked her that Mack?"

 "She asked, "what makes you think I'm Jesus."

 I said, "I don't think you look like Jesus at all. But at the same time I noticed a vision of a beautiful Mermaid that looked just like you my ship mate claimed he was seeing Jesus, so I just wanted to make sure that my eyes aren't playing tricks on me.

 "Do I really look like your Mermaid,?" she asked.

 "Yes you do, except that you're a lot prettier," I answered.

 "If you're trying to pick me up the answer is yes, because that's the best pick up line I've ever heard."

 "Oh, I've got lots more," I answered.

 "You think I'm putting you on Mike don't you."

 "Well, maybe just a little Mack.

 "But you're wrong Mike. She inspired me to reach beyond the mundane and hum drum. She made me feel clever and gave me a diminsion that I never knew I had."

 "So will you write when you leave Mack?"

 "No Mike, I will never write another comedy again, for my life is now to filled with tragedy. I will just use the skills I learned so well but never used to become filthy rich and just be as shallow and unhappy as everyone else on Wall Street.

 "You mean you'll never write anything again Mack."

 "Only one last thing Mike. I promised my cousin I would write a speech for her about how it feels to be a Nun for 25 years."

 "But how would you know Mack?"

 "What Mike?, you don't think all this time in the Navy qualifies me to know what its like to be a Nun."

 "Frankly, no I don't Mack. But you're going to do this anyway, aren't you?"

 "Yes, of course Mike, she's my cousin and she needs a speech."

 "You know your nuts Mack, don't you?"

 "Yes, of course I know I'm nuts? Now will you please take your arm off my shoulder Mike before everyone on the ship thinks were an item? And thanks, I decided not to jump. The sharks looked just a tad bit overweight."

 Special Note: This writer is now again inspired thanks to Anne Therese.

11:34 AM - 8/26/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Tiffany Stone (The Story)

 Never before in the history of the world has there been a story such as this. And never again will there be such an event of unparalleld magnitude. And if the world ever falls into this sort of peril again, then it will be the final chapter of planet earth, because this miracle can not ever be duplicated again.

About Tiffany Stone
Tiffany Stone has given me permission to write her into my story and to use her name as the title.
Speicial Thanks To Tiffany Stone





This is a fictional story.
Tiffany Stone really is a Hollywood journalist and a movie script reader. But her appearance in this story is only fictional. But the description of how beautiful she is in the story is not fictional. She is very attractive. And yes, she does really have a blog, called Tiffany A Stone.Com.

Tiffany Stone Blog





Tiffany Stone
By Tim Mack


He thought. "What kind of dream is this?"


He felt as if he were in a dream that he couldn't awaken from.

He thought. "I must awaken from this dream and take charge of myself. But how? How can I awaken?"

At last, he was no longer soaring above the ocean at warp speed. He could feel his body, now splash into the water, as the impact pulled his clothes off. Now he could feel a terrible wet chill.

As waves crashed over him, he started to awake, but the waters were so frigid, he could feel himself going into a state of hyperthermia.

He thought. "I'm gone, and there is no Canada that I will see."

After a time, he could feel lips pressed on his. The lips were soft and sweet. He could smell the scent of a fresh morning bubble bath. He could feel hot air blowing into his mouth. But he could not move. His eyes refused to open. But he could feel the sun now. Then he felt tender fingers touch his face.

Hands were now pressing on his stomach and water started to flow from out of his mouth. He felt hot air again blow inside his mouth.

Gentle fingers touched his wrist, as he heard a female voice cry out." A pulse, a pulse."


He layed their helpless on the beach. He could not move, he could not see. He felt only the sensation of feminine hands all over his body.

Then he heard a female voice cry out. "Body heat. He must have lots of body heat. Its his only chance to get warm enough to survive."

His eyes, then started to open very slightly. He saw a woman standing over him, she had long strawberry blond hair that was rich with curls.

She was quickly undressing and revealing very, full and beautiful, breasts, a slim, wasteline and very, firm thighs. He then felt her body go underneath his. But, yet, then again, he saw the same woman standing over him and quickly undressing, yet, she was wearing different clothes.


Then she placed her body on top of his.

He thought. "What kind of woman, can be on top of me, and underneath me at the same time?"

And then he thought.

"Could this be Hell?"

"And I be damned."

"To feel this lust."

"Yet to frozen be."

"What were my sins?"

"For this to be."

"Frozen so helpless."

"Here for all eternity."

Suddenly, he started to feel a rush of heat spreading, all over his body. The heat from the woman's body above him, combined with the heat of the womans body underneath him was thawing him out rapidly now.

Then he thought.

"What madness can this be?"

"If I am not dead."

"I must be mad."

"To lie here with a woman that."

"That has two sets of hands."

"That warms me with two bodies yet."

"I may be back on earth again."

"But for sure, my mind."

"It must be gone."


Just then, he heard the sounds of laughter.

A female voice cried out. "A butterfly, a butterfly."

Another female voice, cried out. "Where?"

The other female voice replied. "On his butt. On his butt. He has a butterfly tatto on his butt."

Suddenly, he started to laugh. He said. "Oh, the butterffly. That was a very drunken night in Singapore."

He asked. "What ailment do I have, that I am seeing and hearing two of you?"

They both laughed together, and said. "We are twin sisters."

He laughed and said. "Oh, you mean that I have not gone mad."

"Thank you both for what you've done." He said.

One of the twins said. "We couldn't think of any a faster way to warm you up then using our combined body heat."

He smiled and said. "That was a lot more fun than hot soup."


One of the twins then said. "Come with us and we will give you a hot bath and get you some dry clothes to wear."

"The hot water felt good and it was nice to get that salty water off his body." He thought.

One of the twins said. "These are my brothers clothes, I think you are about the same size, he doesn't need to share them with a butterfly, but try them on, I think they will fit. But don't be in any big hurry eh."

He put the clothes on, and said. "The butterfly is very happy."

They both laughed, and one of the twins, poured him a Scotch, and said. "Here this will put some hair on your butterfly."

Once they realised he was okay, they became very curious and one of the twins asked. "How did it happen, that you washed up on this far away island?"

He told them, "I'm not exactly sure myself, but I will tell you what I can."

He told his twin rescuers. "I had fallen asleep on a couch on my ship and then somehow, I washed up ashore on your enchanting island. It makes no sense, but here I am. All I can remember is that I felt an incredible urge to smell a womans sweet perfume."

"Here you are how?" The other twin sister asked.

"I wished myself here is my only explanation." He said.

"I feel like being somewhere, where there is music and dancing." He said.

"And somewhere where you can smell lots of women's perfume eh." One of the twins remarked.

"Yes, I confess. I need to fill up my nostrils with the sweet scent of women and their perfume." He said with a smile.

"Sure you're not needing any more then just a sniff of a women?" One of the twins remarked with a seductive smile.

The twins then directed him to the only bar on the island. He liked the music and the place was packed with beautiful women. Noticing a woman leaning over the juke box whose breasts were bouncing in her tight top, he winked seductively and asked. "Could you play You Sexy Thing for me?"

She looked at Kevin as if he were piece of chocolate candy and said. "If I'm dreaming this don't anyone wake me."

"My name is Kevin. And where have you been all my life?" He said

"My name is Bernice. And I've been right here just waiting for you to walk in the door." She said.

Kevin moved his head close to her neck and said. "I love how you smell."

She put her arms around Kevin and said. "He's mine. I'll not be sleeping in a cold bed tonight."

Kevin then gazed into her eyes seductively and kissed her, as he felt her breasts press pleasantly against his chest.

Kevin thought to himself. "Its fanstastic that this place is filled with beautiful women. But why am I the only guy here?"

Just then one of the twins waved them over and said. "Come and sit with us. We ordered drinks for everyone."

Kevin took a swig of his drink and asked. "Am I in heaven, or is this a lesbian bar?"

The twin sisters laughed and said. "No, its just that all the men on the island are out fishing and you're the only male on the entire island at the moment."

It seemed as if every women in the place wanted to dance with him. The music was great, and word had gotten around about the butterfly tatto on his butt, and the women seemed to be enjoying him being the butt of all their jokes, so to say.

The woman behind the bar suddeny cleared the top of the bar counter and yelled.

"Come on sailor hop up on the counter and give us a dance". As You Sexy Thing started to play.

Being a good sport, Kevin jumped up and started dancing. Kevin started to playfuly unbutton his shirt as a bunch of woman started yelling.

"Take it off. Take it all off sailor. We want to see the butterfly."

Kevin thought to himslef. "I'll just strip down to my underwear."

Now with Kevin wearing only his shorts, the woman now sreamed loudly the words.

"Take it off. Take it all off. We want to see the butterfly."

Kevin yelled back. "Okay ladies. But this will have to be our own little secret. The UCMJ(Uniform Code Military Justice} doesn't allow me to be lewd. At least not in uniform anyway. But hey. I guess I'm not in uniform today anyway eh."

As Kevin turned around and lowered his shorts, the ladies clapped wildly at the site of his butterfly.

Hearing cameras clicking, Kevin pulled his shorts back up and turned around and asked. "Please? Stop ladies. No more pictures. I could be Court Martialed for this. Seriously ladies, I know a lot of women out there that could ID a picture of my butterfly."

But instead of stopping, they applauded wildly and kept clicking pictures. Kevin shrugged his shoulders as he started to dress and yelled. "How bout another Molson up here eh?"

An exceptionaly well dressed woman walked up to him. She absolutely radiated with beauty. Her long dark, brown hair and hazel eyes were striking.

She extended her hand and said. "Hi, my name is Tiffany Stone, I'm a Hollywood journalist and I would like to hear your story."

"Hi, I've read articles that you've written, but I never knew what you looked like. You certainly don't look like a journalist, your much too pretty."

The woman siting next to him intervened and said. "I already got his story and he's coming home with me right after we have a few more drinks."

He laughed and said to the woman sitting next to him. "Don't worry, she doesn't want me, she just wants the story, nothing more."

"Oh, in that case come back to my house with us, and get your story." The woman said.

"Tiffany Stone, turned to him and asked. Would you mind?"

"I would be more than glad to give you the story." He replied.

"My name is Bernice." She said, as she extended her hand to Tiffany Stone.

"I'm Kevin and it will be my pleasure to give you the story." He said.

"I have a camcorder and a microphone with me, if you'd like to do anymore entertaining." Tiffany Stone said.

Kevin asked. "Would you mind recording me Tiffany Stone so that when the men of the village get back from their fishing trip, the ladies of the village can share my visit with them?"

"Certainly" Tiffany Stone replied.

"Okay than, since you wonderful Canadians have shown me such wonderful hospitality, I'm going to do a few scripts for you that I've written. So far I've only performed these scripts out at sea to a very captive audience, so if I start to bore you, let me know and I'll stop. This first one is called My First Kiss. Okay Tiffany, if you don't mind, roll the camcorder."

My First Kiss



Being seven, can be very arkward. You're no longer cute and cuddley anymore, but your still far from being grown up. At seven, I was still my Mom's charge. Wherever she went, I had to follow.

I was the srangest little Kid. I wasn't interested in anything. Every thing just seemed to be a bore, and I couldn't understand why I was a little Kid.

My Mom was always losing me. She would make me go shopping with her, and I would think. "Oh, more shopping, I'm going to sleep." So, I would crawl under a display or something and go to sleep.

After a while, all the sales girls would be on the alert whenever, I would walk into a department store, because they new I was going to find some place to hide away. But the worst place was the sand box.

Whenever my Mom would take me to the sand box, I would think. "Oh, no, I have to be around all those Kids that think this is fun." I mean after putting the sand in your pail once, the thrill is gone.

So of course, I would go right to sleep in the sandbox. But the ultimate low was Kindergarten. All of these Kids playing with little blocks and making a mess with all those crayons. I went right to sleep on that.

The teacher would say to my Mom. "I don't understand your Son, he refuses to stay awake in my class."

I thought. "Oh, let me hurry and grow up. Life as a little Kid, is just too boring."

I mean really, I felt like I had nothing in common with the junior set. Then, this was almost a bright note.

Someone from a modeling agency noticed me sound asleep in the sandbox one day, and said to my Mom. "Your Son is really hansome, I would like to model him."

I thought. "Hey, that might be interesting."

But no. My Mom said. "I want my Son to have a normal childhood and not have to grow up with cameras everywhere."

I thought. "Mom, are you crazy? I can be a star here. And anyway. What kind of a normal childhood is this that I'm having? Everything bores me."

Then one day, my Mom took me to the Park for a picnic with her friend and her friends, little daughter, that was the same age as I. We were both 7 at the time.

I thought. "Oh, another boring picnic, and now I'm going to have to listen to all their shopping talk. I'm going to sleep."

So, I found a nice spot on the grass and I feel sound asleep. Then after a while, I felt something crawling on me. I opened my eyes and noticed that it was my Mom's, friends, daughter. I noticed that my Mom and her friend were busy chatting away, and were not even aware that the girl was crawling all over me.

I thought. "Well, if I close my eyes and pretend I'm sleeping, the girl will go away and find something else to crawl on."

But no, she kept crawling all over me.

I'm thinking. "Well, I don't know what she thinks she's doing, but I'm just going to keep my eyes closed until she gets bored and goes away."

Then, all of a sudden, I feel something soft on my lips.

I'm thinking. "Hmmmm, that feels good. I wonder what that can be."

It just kept feeling nicer and nicer.

Then I thought. "Oh, what the heck. Let me open my eyes to see what this is."

Then I notice, that its the girls lips, that are on mine.

I said. "Whats that"?

She said. "Thats a kiss."

I said. "Oh, I like that."

She said. "I like that to."

I smiled and said. "Oh, at last something thats not boring."

Well, since that day, my life really changed. I wasn't falling asleep all over the place anymore. I seemed to be wide awake and interested.

But, I always wonder. "Was it the kiss that day, when I was seven, that sparked something in me; or was it just time to wake up?"

Well, whatever, I have been wide, awake, ever since. And that is the story of my first kiss, and my first unboring moment.

"Thank you Kevin I really enjoyed that." Tiffany Stone said.

"But why is everyone crying? It didn't have that kind of effect on the sailors. Kevin said smiling.

"Thats because sailors can never become Mom's. Its very sweet and touching Kevin." Tiffany Stone said.

"Thank you, I see everyones crying. I was trying to make everyone laugh. Let me try A Script About My Ass and see if that can get everyone laughing." Kevin said.

The Script About My Ass

Does anyone remember those early High School days? You know, the time when most of us started to discover the opposite sex in ernest, but we still weren't completly evolved yet. I can still remember those early day High School parties that we had.

You know, those parties that you would have at a friends house where all the guys would gravitate to the kitchen, and all the girls would gravitate to an up stairs bed room to talk girl talk. We all thought we were so cool. Some guy would always find a way to sneak a six pack of beer into the kitchen and another guy would always have a pack of cigarettes.

We would all take a small glass of beer and light up a cigarette and talk about what a buzz we were getting. While we were getting our little beer and cigarette buzz, we would start talking about what girls we thought were hot. Sometimes I wondered why the girls came to the party at all, they, always seemed to be upstairs.

All that changed after a while, but it was a real evolutionary process. But while we were evolving, sure, all the guys knew about all the guy talk in the kitchen, but no one ever knew anything about what the girls were talking about upstairs. Well, that is almost no one knew.

I overheard a very rare earshot of a conversation I wasn't suppose to hear. It was all very innocent of course, but rather interesting. This is how it all happened. I had to use the bathroom.

I knocked on the door, and one of my friends said. "I'm going to be in here for a while because I feel like I'm going to puke."

I thought okay. "I will use the upstairs bathroom."

I got almost to the top of the stairs and I heard all kinds of laughter coming from the girls in the bedroom.

I thought. "I wonder what it is thats so funny that they are laughing about?

Then I heard one of the girls say. "Yeah that Kevin has the tightest ass."

And another girl chimed in. "I couldn't keep my eyes off of his ass for the entire football game."

I realized then. "They, were talking about my ass."

I thought. "No one cares about all the touch downs I got or all the great plays I made. Their just watching my ass."

Then another girl yelled. "Yeah, I love that back field in motion."

Another girl chimed in. "Yeah, I just love seeing Kevin's ass in those tight football pants."

"I'd love to sueeze those tight bunns." Another voice cried out.

And yet another voice, said. "I get goose bumbs just thinking what it would be like to wrap my legs around his tight ass."

Well, at first I was devestated.

I thought. "All that pumping iron, all that hair blowing, all that expense cologne. And what are all the girls looking at? Its my ass, just my ass."

Then I thought. "Well, I better keep this little secret to myself."

I thought. "If I tell anyone I overheard this conversation, they'll never be able to keep it a secret and it will get back to the girls."

They kept talking and talking about my ass, but I couldn't listen any longer, I really did have to use the bathroom. So I used the bathroom and quietly slipped back down stairs again. Now I needed a beer and a cigarette. So, I gulped down an entire can of beer and had a cigarette, but then I really started to feel weird.

I thought. "Woh, no more of that stuff. But then I started to think, hmmm, maybe I can capitalise on this ass thing."

I applied for a Summer job, and the girl said, oh, sorry, we have no more openings. Then she said, your shoe lace is untied.

I bent down to tie it. And then she said. "Oh, I'm sorry, I made a mistake, we do have an opening."

Now, I'm thinking. "Hmmm, is this just a coincidence? Or was she really checking me out when I bent down to tie my shoe lace?"

Then I would start to notice other little oddites. Everytime I walked into the office to look for a file, I would hear all this typing. But as soon as I would turn my back and start looking for a file, all the typing would stop. And then as soon as I got the file and turned around again, the typing would suddenly resume.


"Another strange coincidence." I suppose.

When I got my first paycheck from my summer job, I thought. "Its time to do a little shopping."

Yeah, I was going pants shopping, tight pants shopping.

I thought. Hmmm, how tight can I get pants to fit?"

Then I headed out with my new tight pants. Wow, was I getting smiles.

I thought. "Screw the gym. The heck with pumping iron. I had it all together in one neat package."

Then school resumed again, and I thought. "Hmmmm, I wonder if I can get my marks boosted a bit higher if I have all female teachers?"

So, I went in to see the Guidance Counselor, and asked. "Could I have all female teachers?"

"Why do you want all female teachers?" He asked.

I said. "I seem to pay attention better."

He said. "Well, I can give you all female teachers, except for Gym Class."

"Great." I said.

I couldn't beleive the difference, with all female teachers, my marks were soaring. Every once in a while, I would drop my pen or something in class, and pick it up real slow just for insurance.

What was really weird though, was that I was getting even better at football. It started to feel good just thinking that I was giving the girls a thrill. I felt like they weren't cheering for the team, but rather they were really cheering for me.

After a while, I kind of even developed a little back field in motion wiggle. The girls were going wild.

I thought. "Hey, if you got it, flaunt it."

When I graduated High School, I was hired by a Wall Street Bokerage firm, but I had to take a medical exam before I could start working. I looked out the window in the Doctors examining room in awe at the sky line.

As I marveled at the sites, I felt a hand tap on my shoulder. I turned my head to see a Nurse standing there.

She said. "I have to take your temperature."

As she held the therometer in her hand I opened my mouth expecting her to slip it in.

She smiled and said. "No, this isnt going in your mouth."

I asked. "Where else can it go?"

She said. "Drop your pants and shorts and find out."

I complied and as I layed down on my stomach, I could feel her stick the therometer up my butt.

She started to chat with me and after a long while, I kind of wondered to myself. "Why is she taking so long to pull the therometer back out of my butt?"

Just then the Doctor walked in and asked the Nurse. "Why are you taking his temperature in this fashion?"

Her face now a bit blushed, she exclaimed. "Oh I had some medical questions to ask him, and he couldn't answer them if the therometer was in his mouth."

I thought. "Hmmm, medial questions. I couldn't remember her asking me any medical questions."

Then I thought. "Hmmm, another on of those coincidences."

The Doctor asked. "So whats the temperature?"

With that she pulled the therometer from my buttoks at last, and said. "Your temperature is perfectly normal. And what department will you be working in?"

"That was good Kevin, my stomach is hurting from laughing so much." Tiffany Stone said.

"Great, I'm glad everyone got a good laugh out of that. Let me take a Molson break and I'll do one more." Kevin said with a smile.

"Do you always drink Molson Kevin?" Tiffany Stone asked.

"Yes always Tiffany." Kevin replied.

"I think I'll try a bottle of Molson and see what it does for my writing." Tiffany Stone said laughing.

"Well Tiffany, here's another one I wrote with the help of a few Molsons. This one is called Sex Toy for Mom. Roll the camcorder." Kevin said.


Sex Toy For Mom

I guess I did a lot of stupid things when I was a Kid. But buying my Mom a battery powered vibrator, had to be at the top of the list of stupid things I did. Of course, I had no idea what I was buying her at the time.

Well let me explain. When I was a kid, I would go to these auctions looking for things for my Science projects and everything was bid on so you knew how much it was going to be if you put a bid in on something. So that day I had found a few things I could use for my Science projects, so I started heading out the door.

As I was walking out the door, I could hear the auctioneer saying. "And this next item can give you a great massage."

Then I remembered that my Mom said a few days ago that she wished she could get a massage for her stiff neck.

So, I thought. "Christmas is coming soon, this might be a nice gift for Mom."

Then I heard the auctioners voice say. "Doesn't anyone else want to bid on this massager?"

So I raised the bid by 25 cents more, no one else put another bid in for it, so I got the thing.

I noticed I got a few funny looks from the people at the auction.

But I thought. "They're probably wondering what I'm doing at the auction."

I was the only Kid there, and I was still in grade school.

So, I got home, and wrapped up what I thought was just a massager for your neck or something and put it under the tree for Mom. Of course I was a bit perplexed why the bottom edge was so rounded.

But I thought. "Maybe that makes it vibrate better or something."

So, when Christmas came, everyone was there, my Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts and very close family friends. I watched my Mom as she opened up my present, and I noticed that she had a very surprised look on her face.

Then, I thought. "Good, I really surprised her."

But then I noticed that my Dad and my Grandparents also had a very surprised look on their face.

But as I explained to my Mom, that. "I got that for her, so that she could massage her neck." Everyone starting laughing. I couldn't figure out what was so funny.

Then my Dad said to me. "Could you help me take some things from the kitchen."

When we got into the kitchen, my Dad explained to me, what the vibrator was used for, and why it was shaped that way. When I asked my Dad.

"Why would any woman want to use a vibrator there?

My Dad just said. "I'll explain that to you another time."

So, I had bought my Mom a sex toy for Christmas. But at least Mom forgave me for my oversight. After still giving me a hug for the thought at least, I realised that day, just how much my Mom really loved me.

"Yes, it was a learning experience."

"That was fantastic. I'm definitly switching to Molson from now on." Tiffany Stone said.

"Thank you Tiffany for recording all this on your cam corder, and thank you all again for your amazing hospitality. I have to go now, but maybe someday I'll come back." Kevin said.


He grabbed the newspaper and the momento place holder from the bar, and stuffed it into his back pocket, as was always his habit, when he went somewhere new.

Then he extended his arms to both Bernice and Tiffany Stone and said. "May I?"

Arriving at Bernices house, Tiffany Stone pulled a bunch of gourmet food out of her bag and turned to Kevin and said. "You must be famished, let me whip something up fast in the kitchen."

With a smile, Kevin said. "I haven't had anything to eat in two days and I am just a tad bit hungry."

Bernice handed Kevin a Molson, and then said. "Let me help you in the kitchen Tiffany."

"Wow, does this ever taste good. I never had a food fantasty in my dreams, but after tasting this, move over all my beautiful woman fantasies." Kevin said with a big smile.

"Im happy I fulfiled your food fantasy cravings Kevin, but I would like to hear more about what happened to you." Tiffany Stone said.

"Okay Tiffany here it is. It wont make a lot of sense, but this is exactly how it happened. A while back I had won a disco dance contest with a very beautiful woman during a port visit to Vancouver, Canada."

I was thinking about that. "As I sat in the lounge and thinking about how many months we were at sea now and just how long it had been since I heard a female voice or smelled the scent of sweet perfume."

"How far away from this island were you when you started to crave the smell of a womans perfume." Tiffany Stone asked.

"Minutes before it happened, we were about 600 miles from here, according to the charts." Kevin replied.

"But 600 miles Kevin, that doesn't seem possible." Tiffany Stone said.

"No Tiffany, it doesn't seem possible in a normal sense, but I was traveling over the ocean at warp speed until I at last droped into the water." Kevin replied.

"But how did you survive the cold water Kevin?" Tiffany Stone asked.

"I think I would have died Tiffany, if it were not for the combined body heat of the twin sisters that thawed me out." Kevin said.

"Did anything unusual happen on your ship, just before you had your out of body experience Kevin?"

"Yes Tiffany, shortly before that I was on the bridge deck looking over the charts when I became enveloped by a greenish glow. I watched it go into the water. It was very strange Tiffany. Every navigational instrument was off and all the clocks and pesonal watches spun backward. Officialy it was listed as a small plane crash. But when I asked why we were not making a rescue effort, I was just told that I wouldn't really want to know."

"Why do you think Kevin, that you were the only one on your ship to travel to this island?"

"Well, Tiffany, if I had to guess, I think it may be a combination of two things. First, I was the only one that was standing out in the open at the time, and I got the full brunt of the greenish glow. Second, I have a tremendous will power and the desire to be around something soft and feminine just became overwhelming and somehow I think the green glow gave me a little something extra."

Oh, please, no more talk of this, I'm getting scared just thinking about this." Bernice said.

"Thats the whole story anyway Bernice." Said Kevin.

"Yes, I agree, Bernice, this is getting too spooky. I'm getting another round of Molson's in the Kitchen. Tiffany Stone said.

"Cheers to that." Said Kevin.

"What about you Tiffany Stone? You never say anything about yourslef on your website." Kevin said.

Laughing Tiffany Stone said. "I'm affraid I might bore my readers if I talk about myself, but if you must know Kevin, I'm a disciple of the legendary Hollywood scriptreader Jack Kerouac and I have a bachelor of arts in writing and literature from Naropa University in Boulder."

"So that's why you write so well. I only had a year of English Literature in College, but a buddy of mine on my ship that has a journalism degree has been giving me pointers on my comedy sripts that I've been writing for the Navy." Kevin said.

"Well Kevin, I think I would like to read your comedy scripts sometime, when your not busy dancing naked on the bar for the ladies." Tiffany Stone said laughing.

"If you would like Tiffany, I have another funny one that I was affraid to tell all the women at the bar. I didn't want them to start yelling that they wanted to see my butterfly again. This one is called Clap Your Hands." Kevin said with a big smile.

"By all means. Go ahead Kevin. It must be pretty sexy if you didn't want the woman at the bar to here it." Tiffany Stone said laughing.

"Okay Tiffany and Bernice, here it is." Kevin said, uncorking yet another Molson.

Clap Your Hands

Did anyone ever notice that "Clap Your Hands" commercial on TV? I'm just so glad its finaly off the air. I just couldn't watch the commercial without cracking up.

It makes me laugh because of Singapore. One day I got into a cab with two of my friends, and one of my friends had a bad backache, so he told the Singapore Cab driver to take us somewhere where you could get a good back rub.

So the driver takes us to this place thats way of the beaten track, and then points at a staircase to go up. So we walk up this staircase, and we see this Lady standing there, and there is only one table.

She motions us to sit down, and then she brings us all a beer.

Then she stands next to the table and says. "What can I do for you?"

My friend explains to her that. "The Cab driver said you could get a good back rub here."

She smiles and says yes. "We have the best here."

Then she claps her hands and a curtain opens. The open curtain reveals a whole bunch of women standing there in skimpy outfits.

My friend says. "No not that."

Then she claps her hands, and another curtain opens up revealing more women in skimpy outfits.

Then my friend says. "My back aches, thats all, I have on my mind."

Then she claps her hands again, and all the women behind curtain number one start to take off their skimpy outfits.

My friend says. "No, just a back rub."

Then she claps her hands again, and all the women behind curtain number two start taking all their skimpy outfits off.

Then I said to her. "You don't understand, my friend only came here for a back rub."

Then she claps her hands again, and this totaly naked women jumps up on the table and starts wrapping her thighs around my neck.

I said. "No, back rub, just a back rub."

Then she claps her hands again. "And says okay back rub."

I said. "Yes, back rub."

Then she claps her hands again and the woman starts taking my shirt off.

I started to say to her that. "Its my friend that wanted the back rub and not me."

But I could see she was ready to clap her hands again. So, I just said. "Okay." Affraid of what would happen next if she claped her hands again.

So now this woman is giving me a back rub, and my friend says to the Lady. "What about the two of us?

So of course she claps her hands again, and one woman rushes over, and then she claps her hands again, and another woman rushes over. Then the Lady claps again, and the woman that was rubing my back walks away.

So, I'm thinking good. "The Lady has everything figured out at last."

So I gulp down the rest of my beer, thinking that my friends will just get their back rub now, and then we can get out of this strange place.

But no, I was wrong. The Lady says to me. "Would you like another beer?"

I said. "Thank you, but no, I'm fine."

Then the Lady says. "Come with me."

I said. "Come with you where?"

Then she says. "You have to get the second part of your back rub now. But I need you to lay down for it."

I said. "Why do I need to lay down for a back rup?"

She gave me a strange look and said. "Why do you have to ask so many questions?"

So then, she takes me into this room and points and says. "Lay here on your stomach."

Then she claps her hands again and before I know it a bunch of women are rubing their hands all over my back.

Then after a few minutes, the Lady says to me. "Turn over on your back."

So, I turn over and then the women start pouring all this lotion on me and then they start rubing up and down my chest. Then I feel one of the women lift my arms and pull them back all the way back behind my head. Then I feel some hands around my waist, and then in a split second, I feel my pants and shorts come sliding off.

Then I said. "No not this."

The Lady said. "Whats wrong?"

I said. "I don't want to have sex, just a back rub."

She says. "Okay no sex, but we can't do this with your clothes on."

I said okay. "But no sex."

As I said the words no sex, I could then feel the women spreading my legs wide apart. Then I felt the women spreading the lotion and rubing it all up and down my thighs. Then the women turned me over on my side and started to spread and rub the lotion all over my buttocks.

Then I heard laughing. I asked. "What are they laughing at?"

Then the Lady said. "The butterfly, they're laughing at the butterfly on your butt."

Then the Lady asked. "Why do you have a butterfly on your butt?"

I said. "I didn't think anyone would see it there."

She kept her promise, there was no sex, but was that ever one heck of a rub down. I just couldn't figure why they needed so many women to do the job.

When we walked out of the place at last.

I asked my friends. "Did the two of you have the same kind of rub down?"

They both replied. "No, just our backs."

I said. "I don't get it. Why would that Lady have the women do all that to me, and only have the women rub your backs?"

One of my friends smiled and said. "She just wanted to see you with your clothes off."

Then my other friend said. "Yeah, I think that Lady had the hots for you."

I guess I will really never know the real answer to that question, but whatever the reason, it was a great rub down. But I will always think of that Lady in Singapore if I see someone claping their hands a lot.

"You have a knack for getting yourself and your butterfly into the strangest situations." Tiffany Stone said laughing.


"So Tiffany Stone. May I ask what brought you to this island?" Bernice asked.

"Oh, thanks Bernice for reminding me. I'm here to get an exclusive interview from a famous Hollywood actress that has been hiding away here just a few doors away from you. It time for me to get going. Thanks for the hospitality, and Kevin, I'm sure Bernice will take care of those other cravings you have." Said Tiffany Stone.

"Oh yeah Tiffany, I'm anxious to try out my new water bed with Kevin." Bernice said.

"Oh two fantasies coming true in the same day, first Tiffany Stones gourmet cooking and now a romp in Bernice's new water bed. Well, at least I'm having a good time before they Court Martial me for going AWOL." Kevin said.

"Well, let me go and leave you to love birds alone now." Tiffany Stone said.

"Thanks for everything Tiffany, and by the way, I love your website Breakfast At Tiffany's." Kevin said

"Take my hand lover boy, its show time." Bernice said.

"Ready to break in that new water bed." Kevin said.

"I'm ready." Bernice replied.

After that great meal and spending a pleasant night with Bernice and her new waterbed, Kevin woke about the next morning feeling refreshed and confident. He took a quick shower and then tip toed out of the house while Bernice was still sleeping.

He then headed to the beach, looking for an answer.

He knew he must return, but he thought. "how?"

Now he could hear pounding feet off in the distance. He looked in the direction of the pounding feet and he could see a most beautiful woman coming toward him wearing jogging shorts and revealing a most beautiful pair of legs.

"Good morning Kevin." The beautiful woman said.

"Oh, your the beautiful vision I'm seeing Tiffany." He said.

"My God Kevin. How many Molsons did that woman give you last night? I'm wearing my old beat up jogging outfit."

Laughing, Kevin said. "I wasn't talking about the jogging outfit, but rather what a vision the owner of the outfit was."

"Thank you Kevin, but I'm not accustomed to getting compliments before I have my morning coffee." She said.

"I'm glad I got to see you one last time before I go." He said.

"Go where?" Tiffany Stone asked.

"I have to get back to the ship now. Could you say good bye to Bernice for me?"

"Kevin, don't you think you're really kind of pushing the love them and leave them envelope here? I mean really. What am I supposed to tell Bernice? I mean something like, hi Bernice, I saw Kevin on the beach when I was jogging this morning and I just want to tell you that he zapped himself back to his ship. You know, he just had pressing paper work."

"Yes, Tiffany, I see your point, but life is not entirely about love, there are other things and I just feel as if I shouldn't sheirk my responsibility any further. I had the pleasant interlude that I needed, but now I have to get back to work." He said.

"I admire your dedication Kevin. But just how do you propose to get back to the ship?"

"The same way I got here Tiffany, just as I did once before a very long time ago." He said.

"So there was more Kevin. Why didn't you tell me?" She said.

"I was affraid I would scare Bernice if I said anymore last night. I could already see that she was becoming frieghtened and she's not from the big city like I am." He said.

"Well, I'm from the big city and I'm a journalist, so you can at least tell me." Tiffany Stone said.

"I don't completly understand it myself Tiffany, but I know it has something to do with will power and concentration."

"So when did this happen to you before?" Tiffany Stone asked.

"It happened a long time ago. I was just in grade school. There was this really gifted Kid that was constantly being picked on by school bullies. The bullies would grab his hat, and throw it back and forth to eachother. The Kid was super smart, but he had no street smarts. So, one day his Dad asked me if I would walk him home from school, so the bullies wouldn't pick on him." Kevin said.

"So what does that have to do with this? Tiffany Stone asked.

"Well one day, I was waiting for him to come out of school and three of the Kids I knew from my class asked me to come across the street for a minute. They insisted that a Lady standing outside the Funeral Parlor was a genuine witch. I told them they were nuts. But they dared me. I didn't like to ever be dared, so I walked over to see their supposed witch." Kevin said

"What does that have to do with this? Tiffany Stone asked.

"Oh okay, I'll tell you. She introduced herself to me as a witch and when she did, I laughed at her and said, there are no such things as witches. Seconds after I said that, I found myself in a place that looked like Athens, but I was defiant and I guess my will power was stonger than her's, because I wished myself back to where I had been and then she was no more and my three class mates were completly stunned and never dared dare me again." Kevin said.

"Are you putting me on Kevin?" Said Tiffany Stone.

"No, but, I wish I were." Said Kevin.

"So what you're really saying is that somehow, you accidentaly transported your self here, because your desire to smell perfume overpowered your senses, and now that you had your little interlude here, you're just going to transport your self back and get back to business again." Tiffany Stone said.

"Exactly Tiffany. Your are amazingly perceptive." Kevin said.

"But don't you think that might be just a tad bit dangerous Kevin? Tiffany Stone said.

"Yes, it might be just a little bit dangereous, but the other alternative would be explaining how I got here in the first place." Kevin said

"I see what you mean. Guess the prospect of spending the rest of your life in a paded room is not the best prospect. Do what you must do, but hurry, I still haven't had my morning coffee yet. I think I may spike my coffee a bit, after this conversation were having." Said Tiffany Stone.

"Thanks for everything Tiffany, but I really have to go now." Kevin said.

"Sure, go Kevin, you had one of my gourmet meals, so why stick around. I guess I will just have to double check those ingredients I'm using." Said Tiffany Stone.

He closed his eyes to think and when he opened them again, he was back on board his ship. But what he was hearing was quite surprising.

He could hear a funeral service being broadcast over the 1MC. Then he could hear several crew members saying nice things about their friend Kevin.

He thought. "They think I'm dead, and I'm hearing my own funeral."

Just then, his friend John walked by and yelled. "You're alive, you're alive."

He answered. "Yes, I'm alive, but why does everyone think I'm dead."

Then John said. "They had been looking everywhere for you the last 48 hours, so they thought you must have gone overboard."

"I guess I sort of did go overboard in a way." Kevin replied.

John, then said. "Where were you all that time?"

Kevin, replied, "I was on an island off the Canadian mainland."

He said, "how did you get there?"

"I'm not really sure, but I think it had something to do with that green glow." He said.

"Oh that, we still can't get the instruments working right since that green glow thing." John said.

"Well, good luck trying to explain this to the Captain." Said John.

Kevin talked to the Captain later and showed him the newspaper and coaster he had from the island, as evidence that he really had been there.

He said, "I know this story seems strange, but I have an entire island of women that can collaborate that I was there."

The Captain smiled and said, just tell me one thing. "Why did you have the Admirals daughter listed as someone to notify if you became demised? Quite a long list of women on that list." The Captain said with a smile.

Kevin, a bit red faced now, replied. "Oh, she really was the Admirals daughter, I thought she was just putting me on."

Weeks went by and the Captain had a chance to verify his story.

The Captain said to him. "I know you will want to tell someone about this some day, but can you make me a promise? Wait for at least 20 years By that time, I will be happily retired." He said.

"Sure Captain, you got it." Kevin replied.

So what really happened that day? Will we ever know for sure? Was there a reason why Kevin needed that interlude? Were forces at work that we can't understand?

Here's what we do know. Shortly after Kevin's return to his ship, GQ(General Quarters) was called because a Russian submarine was getting to close to the Aircaft Carrier that Kevin's ship was escorting.

It was Kevin's job to determine if the submarine was over the allowed distance to the Carrier. Everyone that day thought that the submarine had breached the allowed boundries but Kevin.

The ultimate decision was with Kevin to fire or not to fire. Later it was determined that Kevin's decision not to fire was correct. Did that pleasant interlude take just enough stress off Kevin to think and act clearly?

We can never be certain for sure. But we do know that we did manage to avoid a nuclear conflict that could have destroyed the entire world.

11:46 PM - 8/22/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Her Special Place For Innocence

 When you live in New York City, downtown represents, the up and comers, or the new money, as its called. Uptown represents the established and entrenched, the old money as its called.

 Bob had always worked downtown, he loved the narrow and crowded streets of Wall Street. Loved to grab a kinish or a hot dog from a vendor as he rushed down the bustling streets, reading the latest financial news while speeding down the street.

 A break from the hectic work day was a fresh ocean breeze at the downtown Sea Port. Boarding a boat there for dinner with the Calypso music playing was an enjoyable after work experience. You could throw off your tie and have a good drink with dinner and talk about everything and anything.

 Wall Streeters are perhaps the most democratic of topic talkers in all of New York City, and yes, the noise, everyone is always talking loud and everyone is always opinionated, but it a nice sort of way, and the laughs are always rolling.

 But uptown is a whole different world, its quite jogs in and around Central Park and reflective tranquilty at the Boat House. A thrill packed day for the uptowners is a romp through the European Art Galleries at the Met.

 But for Bob, the all around downtown guy, life would take a strange turn. He left downtown, and took a job uptown. And he would meet his uptown girl in a very unusual way.

 He was fairly new to his uptown job, and he was still trying to acclimate to his new surroundings. Bob had to see one of the woman he worked with about a project, he was working on. He headed toward where she was, and when he got into vision of her, just then, she put her leg up on a chair to tie her sneaker.

 Bob knew she always switched to sneakers at a certain time of day to go jogging. She was really into fitness. But as she lifted her leg on to the chair to tie her sneaker, her skirt rode up her leg, revealing the most beautiful thigh.

 It was toned and solid from all the jogging. He kept coming toward her, just about hypnotised by the vision of her ravaneous beauty, and then crash. He was so busy looking at Monica that he hadn't noticed that there was an obstruction on his path to her.

 He tripped over the objects, that he would have normally noticed, and before he knew it, he was laying on the floor with a slight trickle of blood flowing from his chest and a small blood stain showing on his shirt. Monica ran over to help him and said, let me get something to stop that bleeding.

 To his surprise, she pulled a first aid kit out of her office.

 She said, "don't move, you may have hurt your back."

 Then she unbottoned his shirt and applied gauze to stop the bleeding.

 He said, "I think I'm okay, just a few scratches."

 Then Bob got up and said, "see I'm fine, but thanks."

 Then she said, "wait, let me put some disinfectant on that cut. This is going to sting."

 She rubed the disinfectant all over the cut, but rather then feeling a sting, all Bob could feel was her gentle caressing touch.

 Bob knew that he should have been in pain, but he was so turned on by her. All he could think of was, "wow, she's dynamite."

 The next day, he took Monica to lunch to repay her for her medicinal treatment, and they both really seemed to click.

 At first Bob felt a natural and normal lust for such a beautiful and sexy woman that Monica was. But as he got to know her better, he felt an unusual comfort with her. He was more relaxed with her than any other woman he had ever known.

 His feelings of lust were quickly being replaced by genuine feelings of affection. He felt something very different with her compared to other woman. He couldn't even quite understand it himself. But he knew she made him laugh and he truely enjoyed her company.

 She was different than any downtown girl that Bob had ever known. Bob liked her a lot, but had thought that she was out of his reach. He thought he just didn't have the kind of sophistication that she would expect from a guy. But after that chance meeting Bob was now more determined than ever.

 He knew he was up against it, but she was too wonderful to pass up. And Bob wasn't a quiter. When he made up his mind about something, he went for it. In College, Bob had always been at the top of his class. Things didn't always come easy for him, but he had an incredible determination. He pined for her and he decided that he would do his darndest to win her over.

 Bob thought, "well for her, I can make a few adjustments."

 Bob started to date her and went to a few places with her that he would never normaly go. Broadway plays, Opera's, Night Clubs, all places that never entered Bob's mind. He was an avid sports fan and pre Monica, it was hockey and basketball, but he went where she wanted because he just wanted to be with her, and now the place was secondary in his mind, and she was foremost in his mind.

 Monica invited Bob out to the Hamptons for the weekend, not really his kind of neighborhood, but how could he refuse. For the downtown people, weekends were spent at the New Jersey shore, or Joisey, as they liked to pronounce it. Bob knew the Hamptons were a whole different world for him. At the Hamptons, he met her friends and family and he tried to be as uptownish as he could be, but this was the world of the movers and shakers, this was a world that he knew was much easier to be born into.

 But he did his best to get along with everyone and the main thing was, he was there to be with her. They had dinner with her friends and family, and then took a walk on the beach together. The beach, the moonlight, everything was beautiful and quite romantic.

 Monica took Bob to a place on the beach, that she said was special to her.

 She said, "since I were a child, this had always been my own special place and now I wanted to share it with you."

 They strolled along the beach, hand in hand, and then when they got to a part of the beach that was absolutely beautiful, she said to him, "this is it, this is my special place."

 The sun had just set and a full moon was rising. It was beautiful how the moon was reflecting off the water. It was very romantic. She gazed into his eyes and then moved her lips close to his and then started to kiss him. He thrusted his tongue deep inside her mouth and as he went deeper, he could feel her embrace keep tightening around him. Then she suddenly pulled her mouth away from his to speak.

 She said, "I would like to do something that I haven't did since I was a little girl."

 He said, yes, "what is it?".

 She replied. "I would like to wade into the water and feel innocent again."

 She touched her hand with his, and said, "come with me."

 Bob watched with surprise as she started to remove her clothes while folding them and carefuly placing them on the sand. Bob undressed and carefuly placed his clothes over hers to protect her clothes from the blowing sand.

 As they walked naked, hand in hand into the freezing water, she screamed, "oh, I feel innocent and free again."

 They then embraced, and even with the freezing waters swirling around them, Bob felt as if his body was on fire with the heat of passion.

 He could feel her firm breasts pressing against his chest as her hands squeezed at his waist. His hands slid slowly down the front of her body from her stomach and stopped to squeeze her solid thighs. She then started to rub her waist into his while allowing her hands to slide down past his waist. As her hands explored below his waist, he started to gently move his hands up her thighs and gently caressed below her waist.

 They then started to walk back toward the sand, but they could wait no longer. Before they were completly out of the water, they were suddenly on the ground. While the water began to splash over them Bob found himself embraced in Monica's arms.

 As Bob slid his hands down Monica's thighs, he could feel her bite hard into his neck. As a large wave started to crash over them, Bob picked up Monica in his arms and carried her back to the beach. As he layed her down in the sand, they kissed while he drove his tongue deep inside her mouth. It was cold but their combined body heat was sustaining them from the cold night air.

 Monica then squeezed her arms tight around Bob's waist and screamed, "I love you."

 Bob screamed back, "I love you to."

 As Bob gently touched her breasts, Monica's fingers dug into Bob's back. As his hands moved down from her breasts to her waist, Monica then spread her thighs wide apart.

 As she felt his hands wander down from her waist, she yelled, "I love you"

 As Bob braced himself over her he said, "I love you to."

 As their passion climaxed Bob said, "never in my life have I felt this wonderful."

 Monica replied, "Never did I think that life could be as wonderful as this."

 They stood and had one last kiss and embrace before getting dressed. Bob said, "I've never felt this way with anyone before, you're truely wonderful."

 Monica started to cry and said, "I've been waiting all my life for someone to say that to me, oh, God, how I love you."

 Then Monica and Bob strolled back hand in hand.

 Monica then turned to Bob and smiled, and said, "you know were going to be bored out of our mind now by their idle chit chat."

 Bob squezzed Monica's hand, and said, "it doesn't matter."

 Then Monica said, "I'm glad you came. And did I ever tell you how much I prefer downtown guys?"

 Bob laughed and asked, "did I ever tell you how much I prefer uptown girls?"

 She was uptown and he was downtown, but that weekend it didn't matter. Bob thanked her for sharing her special place with him.

 And then she asked, "do you have a special place you wan't to show me?"

 Bob answered, "yeah, sure, but its a little bit out of your neighborhood."

 Monica asked, "oh where is it?"

 Bob laughed and said, "its on the Joisey Shore."

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4:59 PM - 8/22/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

I Knew Her For An Eternity

 As my horse galloped ever faster along the beach I pulled back on the reigns to slow him down. But it seemed as if something unforseen was quiding the horse. As I pulled the reigns back even harder my horse bolted into the air throwing me to the ground.

 That was the last thing I could remember as I suddenly felt a breeze on my naked body in the tropical heat. As I opened my eyes she was beside me holding a paper fan in her hand. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my mortal life, yet I knew that somehow I had known her in another time and another place.

 Her face, her smile, the glow in her eyes. That was the face I knew so well. Before she talked, before she laughed, I knew what she would sound like. It was her grace and humor that drew me to her for all eternity.

 She smiled as I opened my eyes and said "You've been saying no to beautiful women in your sleep all night long."

 "How many did I say no to?" I asked.

 "At least a dozen," she answered in a most seductive voice.

 "Thats why I went horse back riding. I was as horny as hell and I was trying to stay away from women. I guess the fall off the horse made me delerious as I slept. I hope you didn't hear anything too raunchy." I answered.

 "No, it was quite entertaining. You must really think your in love to say no so many times when your'e so horny," she said.

 "Why do you say I think I'm in love," I asked.

 "Because your not really in love. But rather you fell in love with the notion of being in love. Many people think that they somehow fall in love when they reach a certain age and often confuse lust with love. If you're really in love, then you no longer feel lust for anyone but your lover. So if you're fighting lustful feelings then you have already lost," she said.

 Her logic made a lot of sense and I knew if I listened much longer that I would be convinced that I wasn't in love. But I couldn't be sure if it were her words or her beautiful body that was swaying me. So there was only one thing to do. I had to get away from her as fast as I could. I felt tremendous dizzyness as I tried to lift my head off the pillow.

 And then I felt tremendous feelings of arousal as she placed her smooth and tender hands on my chest and softly whispered to me that I had a concusion from the fall and I shouldn't try to get up.

 "Close your eyes and go back to sleep," she whispered as she gently scratched my shoulders with her long and sexy nails.

 The sensation of her wonderful nails soon had me fast asleep again. And when I awoke I saw her sitting on the bed with my favorite dish of brown rice and shrimp. I opened my mouth as she slid the chop sticks in that were full of brown rice and shrimp inside my mouth. I was famished and I didn't want to tell her that I never quite got the hang of chop sticks, so I allowed her to baby me.

 As my dizzyness started to subside she guided me into a tub. I was aware that I was salty and sandy from the fall on the beach so I was grateful that she prepared a tub for me. But to my surprise she insisted on washing me. It was her tub and she wasn't taking no for an answer.

 "Well, what could I do but enjoy it?"

 It felt wonderful and I never felt so clean. Becoming so accustomed to the standard Navy shipboard two minute showers, I had almost forgotton just how wonderful a real bath was. After the bath she wrapped a towel around me and told me that she had hand washed all my clothes that were now drying outside in the mid day sun.

 She then changed the bed sheet and commanded that I lay on my stomach and relax as she scratched my back with her wonderful nails. I wasn't tired and I didn't even feel dizzy anymore but I didn't want to let on that I was now completly
recovered because her nails felt so wonderful running up and down my back.

 Then, still yet another surprise. I felt her hands slide down to the side of my waist and undo the towel knot. Soon after the towel slid gently from around my waist I could feel her nails running up and down my butt. A few minutes later she asked, "Are you still thinking about her?"

 "Thinking about who,"? I answered, now even surprising myself with my answer once I grasped what I was really saying.

 I could resist no more. I sat up and gazed into her magical eyes and kissed her lips as I embraced her. Just then a thunder bolt thundered out of the blue as if it were some how commanded by the gods. We both rushed out together to bring in my clothes that were outside drying. After the clothes were secure she noticed that I was walking out the door naked into the thunderous rain.

 "What do you think you're doing,?" she asked.

 "Nature has just accomodated my need for a cold shower," I answered as I walked out the door.

 I turned around to look as I heard the door slam and there she was standing there stark naked. Even with the driving rain coming down on her I could see that her body was one of magnificance.

 "Its not safe for you to be out in this thunder," I said.

 "Then why are you out here,?" she asked.

 "I came out here to forget about you," I answered.

 "Look at my body and tell me if you could ever forget about me even if you were given an eternity to forget," she said.

 As she put her arms around me and I felt her press her magnificant breasts against my chest, I whispered "no, I can't forget you and eternity is not enough time to erase you from my memory."

 Now completly embraced in each others arms our passion sparked a wild fire in the rain that couldn't be douced out.  We defied the gods of thunder and made love until we both became completly overwhelmed with exhaustion. She knew exactly what gave me the most pleasure and I know exactly what gave her the most pleasure.

 Our bodies seemed to know each other for an eternity. We would be together for a year and a day. And it was the happiest year and a day that I would ever spend at least in this mortal life any way. Yes, I know things were a little unusual. But I didn't grasp the magnitude of what really transpired till much later on.

 Till this very day her last words still haunt me so. On our last morning of waking up together before my ship sailed she said "we had our year and a day," and we can ask for nothing more in this life time.

 I laughed and said "I'll see you again."

 As tears started to roll down her eyes, she said, "yes, someday, we will have our year and a day again, but till then you must forget me."

 As the years went by and her last words to me echoed in my ears I started to understand what happened. She was not some incredible figment of my imagination. Although, I would have my doubts except for the fact that so many of my shipmates saw us together in so many places.

 Yet there are a few things that are hard to explain with logic. First, I feel as if somewhow that horse was taking me to her. Second, during the entire year and a day that I was staying with her, I never even once arrived at her house by myself. Somehow she always seemed to pop out of thin air every time I was headed to her house to see her.

 Even stranger, she would never let me pay for anything every time we went out. She would always say, "I signed for it."

 I would buy her the finest silks and jewlery to make up for her covering everything, but she never seemed interested in any gifts although she would always thank me for my shopping efforts.

 But still stranger was the fact that she never had any scheduled meal. She would just ask me what I wanted to eat and somehow she always had exactly what I asked for within seconds. Yet, I never saw her go grocery shopping.

 I'm a very easy person to get along with, but she always asked what music I wanted and what I wanted on TV. But if I asked her what she liked to listen to and watch she would refuse to tell me and just say that it wasn't important.

 Even stranger, I always beleived in womans liberation. I would be the first guy to help with cooking, shopping, the dishes, cleaning or whatever. But with her, I could do none of those things. In fact, for the entire year and a day, she insisted on giving me a bath and hand washing all my clothes every single day.

 And now that I think of it I can never remember seeing a dish in the sink or even a dish in the cabinet. "So where did the dishes come from and where did they go to?"

 In fact I never even poured a single glass of water for myself during the entire year and a day. Somehow she anticipated everything I was planning on doing before I did it.

 But the most extrodinary thing is that during the entire year and a day we never had a single disagreement, never a cross word and never an unpleasant moment except for her tears when my ship was about to sail.

 Often times, I'm a very light sleeper and I would wake up in the middle of the night to see her waving a paper fan over me. I don't think anyone could even imagine a fantasy that was so fantastic as this. But yet this was real.

 Soon after I got my first computer I did a family tree. And to my surprise I traced the tree right to an ancient ancestor that married a magical woman from the land of the fairies. But because he was mortal and she was not, they were only allowed to have, yes, you guessed it, a year and a day together. The reason for this was that she could never age because she was immortal and of course my ancestor being mortal could age.

 Now, I'm not saying that there is any connection. I have a very logical mind and I have been brought up in a way that I was taught that there has to be a logical explanation for everything. But despite that, I can't help but wonder.

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4:47 PM - 8/22/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

A Fantasy No More

 There was a woman in the water.

I thought. "I better call the Bridge and tell them."

I was about to turn for the Bridge.

But I thought to myself.

"Her arms are waving at me and beckoning me to come in the water with her."

She had a radiant smile and when I looked further, I realized that she was wearing no clothes. She had the most beautiful body that I had ever seen.

After months at sea, the site of a beautiful womans breasts were wonderful. I felt like jumping in the water to rescue her. But I knew we had a protocal for such things and I knew I had to get a grip on myself.

I thought to myself. "Oh my God. I'm having a mermaid fantasy. Of course she can't be real. After all were a thousand miles from the nearest land and thats even a long swim for a mermaid."

I knew deep down that she couldn't be real, but I wanted her to be real. I needed her to be real. After months at sea without a woman, I was going to enjoy the sight of her regardless if she was real or not.

I thought. "I have to keep my wits about me."

But, I couldn't help but stare. She kept waving her arms at me and revealing the most perfect breasts I had ever seen.

Just then my shipmate Don appeared. He said to me.

"You see it to. Don't you?"

I said. "Tell me first what you see."

Don shouted out. "I see Jesus."

I asked. "Are you seeing Jesus as a Woman or as a Man?"

Don replied. "Everyone knows Jesus is a Man."

I replied back. "I like to keep an open mind on that subject."

Don just laughed and said. "Man, you're whipped."

I thought to myself. "Who knows whats really out there, if anything? But for sure, we all need to hit a port soon."

I thought to myself. "If I'm seeing Mermaids, the entire crew has to be crackers by now."

But then I thought to myself. "Maybe guys like I and Don, were really the lucky ones. Maybe each of us seeing what we wanted to see would keep us sane."

A few weeks later, we hit a port at last. I went to Jesse's Cafe to unwind and have a decent meal. Jesse was sort of my little secret. She was a girl that could really cook and she always made you feel at home.

I glanced up as I noticed the Cafe door open. A woman with the most fantastic body that I had ever seen, walked through the door.

I thought to myself. "I've only seen that ravashing a woman once before and it was in my recent mermaid fantasy."

As I poured my beer, I noticed that the ravishing mermaid was walking over to me. She had a very sexy blouse on and she had plenty of opened buttons showing off the cleavage of her magnificent breasts.

I felt sheer delight as I watched her breasts bounce as she walked. Looking down I noticed she was wearing a very short and tight skirt. She moved like a sex machine. She was 100% certified pure woman.

She smiled and said. "I've seen you on television."

I smiled back and said. "Thank you for the compliment, but I'm not an actor, I'm just a Sailor."

She said yes. "The Yankee Sailor that said eh seven times on Japanese television."

I laughed and said. "Oh, you saw that eh."

She said. "Yes. I'm a reporter and I tried to talk with you soon after I watched the news clip. You made my fantasy change flags."

I asked? "Change flags?"

She said. "Yes. Before that news clip, I had always envisioned a rustic Canadian Sailor in my fantasy, but you changed all that."

I laughed and said to her. "I recently had a mermaid fantasy that looked just like you."

She laughed and said. "Wow, you just topped any other line I ever heard. Why do you sound so Canadian?"

I explained to her. "Since the day I was born, there was a Canadian family from Newfoundland that lived next door to me. My family and theirs were very close and I picked up an enormous amount of their words and manerisms without realising it."

She said. "I find your voice incredibly sexy."

"Thank you." I said, as her sexy talk was now giving me a throbbing erection.

She asked. "Why didn't the Navy want anyone to interview you?"

I explained to her. "That I had no idea that the TV cameras were rolling and I had no clearance to say what I said. Someone had asked me to say a few words for their scrap book. And thats all I thought I was doing."

She said. "No wonder the interview was so good. Thats why it went off as being so natural."

I thought to myself. "Oh baby. Do I ever feel like getting all natural with you. Months at sea without a woman and now I'm sitting here talking. Oh, I don't want to really have a conversation with you right now. I just want to make love to you. Oh, yeah, lets just go somewhere private."

I told her. "The press may have liked it. But it didn't do much for my Naval Career. I was told that they got a very angry call from Washington and blamed me for setting our relations back about ten years with the Soviet Union."

I thought to myself. "What the hell am I doing. Why am I talking about the Russians to her? Screw the Russians. I haven't had anything in months."

She laughed and said. "Oh yes. I can see why Washington may have been upset. That clip of you pointing to the North and saying that Japan and the US must stay unified as long as there is that evil empire to the North."

I said to her. "Look, this is all of the record."

She smiled and said, "I understand."

Just then Jesse brought over her plate, and asked. "Would you rather have it at this table?"

She said. "Do you mind?"

I replied. "Of course not, I always keep this table reserved for my favorite mermaids."

As we talked, I realized that my mermaid, was not only ravishing, but she was also quite brilliant, very political and had a sense of humor and wit, that was very unique. I went for her, hook, line and sinker.

All my little worries about Jimmy Carter and the Russians were quickly fading away. Then she pulled her chair back and crossed her legs. She had the sexiest legs I had ever seen. I couldn't even imagine sexier legs in a wet dream as nice as hers.

As she crossed her legs, her skirt rode up her legs and revealed a beautiful pair of thighs. Then she leaned back in the chair and I could notice her blouse tugging at her very beautiful breasts. Then she uncrossed her legs and leaned back some more on the chair while letting her legs spread out wide from her skirt, further revealing her very firm and sexy thighs.

As her skirt rode further up her legs, I told her. "I can't help but stare at your beautiful thighs. This my first day in port after being out a few months."

She smiled and seemed pleased and thanked me for the compliment. Then she leaned over and placed her hand on my knee and said. "Your quite a treat yourself."

I laughed and said. "Ah, I bet you say that to all your sailors."

Suddenly she bent down to take something out of her bag. As she bent over I got a birds eye view of her very shapley breasts.

She pulled a pen out of her bag and said. "You've got to write your ships phone number down for me."

I watched as the pen fell out of her hand and on to my lap. As she reached for the pen on my lap, her fingers brushed my pants zipper and seemed to linger longer than would be expected. She didn't say anything, but I noticed she had quite a smile on her face.

She turned and said to me. "I know this very remote part of the beach where I take all my Sailors. Would you like to see it?"

I said sure. "I would love to see it."

It was truely a beautiful and romantic spot. As I gazed into her eyes I gently pressed my lips on hers. After a few short seconds, I realised that her lips were as hungry for mine as I were for hers.

As I put my arms around her and felt her breasts press against my chest, it felt wonderful again to smell a womans sweet perfume.

She twirled her tongue around mine as I drove my tongue deep inside her mouth. I unbuttoned her blouse and started to kiss her upper breasts as I felt her hands unbuttoning my shirt. I unfastened her bra as she bit sharply into my neck.

Her breasts felt wonderful to touch. They were firm and nicely shaped. As I started to swirl my tongue around her nipples, I could feel her hands unbuckling my belt. My heart raced as her hand reached over to adjust the lever to push the car seat back.

 It felt wonderful to be with a woman again. But she was very special. She was a fantasy that came true. She made all the trials and tribulations of the journey worth it.

We dressed and then took a wonderful walk, hand in hand on the beach as the full Moon reflected off the water. I had found my fantasy mermaid and she had found her fantasy sailor.

4:36 PM - 8/22/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

The Day My Uptown Girl Went Kinky On Me

 It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, we had just taken a stroll through Central Park, and were now headed to our favorite Cafe. But today, my Uptown Girl had a most peculiar, and devious look in her eyes.

I leaned over from my latte and told her that her eyes seemed to be thinking about something.

She replied, "yes, you are right as usual. I'm trying to remember if there is a hardware store somewhere around here."

I said, "there is a hardware store about 15 blocks away."

She gasped, "15 blocks. Are you sure there is nothing closer?"

I laughed and said, "as the Uptown rents keep climbing, the hardware stores just keep getting further and further away."

She said, "15 blocks. After that I will reward myself with something high in calories."

We finished our latte and headed to the hardware store.

I asked, "what do you need to buy?"

She replied, "clothes line and a very sharp pair of scissors."

When we got to the hardware store, she found the clothes line and scissors, and I went to hand her a pulley with that.

She said, "oh, why would I need a pulley?"

I put the pulley back and thought to myself, "how strange that someone would buy a clothes line without a pulley. But then again, she's from Uptown and maybe they don't use pulleys."

Something didn't quite fit. She had a very good dryer, so I just couldn't figure why she would need a clothes line. But I was starting to tire from the walk and the partying the night before.

I just felt like taking a little knap. We got back to her apartment and had a few glasses of wine while listening to some soothing tapes. I felt very tranquil and started to close my eyes.

She said, "you look tired. Come and lay down on the bed."

I asked, "do you mind?"

She said, "no, no problem. I'm tired to. I will join you in a while. I just have something to do first."

I noticed she had the windows wide open again, so, I took everything off but my shorts and pulled the covers over me.

Just as I started to dose I felt her hand shake me. She said, "take these two vitamins and when you wake up you'll feel better."

I said honey, "you know I never take vitamins."

She said. "do it for me."

She handed me a class of water and placed the pills in my mouth. I said "okay. Just for you."

I fell into a deep sound sleep and didn't awaken again, until I felt the cold night air blowing on my chest.

I thought, "she must have knocked the covers off me, as she had so many times before."

I went to reach for the covers, but my hands could not move.

I opened my eyes, and found that my arms and legs were tied to the bed posts. I looked over and noticed her sound asleep beside me. I called her name and she started to wake.

She asked, "why are you waking me?"

I replied. "why I'm all tied up?"

She laughed and said, "oh that."

I said, "yes, oh that."

She replied, "you weren't supposed to wake up yet. Karen said those sleeping pills would knock you out for the whole night."

I said, "sleeping pills. I thought they were vitamins."

She laughed and said, "vitamins to make you sleep so I could tie you up and then do naughty things to you."

I said, "I woke up because I was freezing from all that cold air coming through the open window. And what naughty things are you planning to do to me?"

She threw the cover over me, and said, "go back to sleep. You'll find out in the morning how naughty I will be."

I went back to sleep and I didn't wake up again until I heard the sound of an electric razor.

I opened my eyes and saw her standing over me with the electric razor. I asked, "why am I tied up? And what are you doing with that electric razor?"

She laughed, and said, "this is all part of the surprise I've been planning for you."

I laughed and said, "you mean, you really didn't buy that rope for a clothes line."

She laughed, and said, "oh, you're so perceptive."

Then she smiled and said. "you're always pleasuring me. I just wanted you to have 100% pleasure for a change, and I knew if you weren't tied up, you wouldn't let me go all the way through with my plans."

I laughed, and said, "plans, what do you mean plans?"

She licked her lips seductively and said, "I've been thinking about this all week." I wanted to do something special for you for Valentines Day. Then I thought, I would do something that you would never do for yourself."

I said, "so you tied me up with the clothes line. Thats my Valentines Day surprise. I get it now, thats what you were whispering about to Karen on the telephone, and silly me, I just thought it was girl talk. So what other surprises did you and Karen plot together for me?"

She laughed and said, "you have no idea what sort of surprises I have in store for you."

Then she came toward me with the electric razor. I said, "let me guess. You want to give me a haircut for a surprise."

She said, "a haircut yes. But not the kind of haircut that you would ever want."

Then she pointed the electric razor at my chest. I asked. "why are you pointing the electric razor at my chest?"

She said, "I'm going to do something I know you would never do."

I asked, "whats that?"

She said. "I'm going to shave your chest."

I said, "oh no your not," confident that I could break free of the rope.

But I was tied more tighly than I had imagined. I couldn't even budge. I asked. "how did you know how to tie a rope so good?"

She smiled and said, "I once was a girl scout."

Then I said, "well, will you be a nice girl scout and kindly untie me now?"

She laughed and said, "no way," as she moved the electric razor closer to my chest.

I said honey, "wait. Just wait. Let me explain this to you. Only weight lifters shave their chests."

But as I pleaded I felt the electric razor moving up my stomach. I pulled at the rope to get free, but it was futile.

I said, "please, don't." But the electric razor continued to run up my stomach.

Then I asked, "at least don't shave any further than my stomach."

She just laughed and said, "see, this is why I had to tie you up."

As I pulled again at the rope, she moved the electric razor up to my chest.

As I said, "no honey not my chest," I could feel the electric razor now advance up my chest.

She kept mowing up and down my chest with the electric razor until every last hair was gone. She then brushed the hair off with a damp towel. She smiled as if she had just won a prize and reached for a can of whip cream, and started to shake it with vigor.

I asked, "now, what are you going to do with that whip cream."

But she wouldn't answer and just kept shaking the can. She pointed the can at my now hairless chest and sprayed the whip cream all over me, and started rubing it all up and down my chest with her hands. She then climbed over me and started licking all the whip cream up with her tongue.

I was surprised, but with my newly mowed chest, I felt a tremendous arousal with each tongue stroke.

I told her, "I have to admit it. I'm feeling a nice sensation."

She said, "I've just barley started yet."

And then she moved her tongue deep inside my mouth, as I felt her hands running up and down my chest.

I told her that everything was great now and said, "lets call it a day."

She said, "I'm not finished yet," as her tongue now moved to my ear.

First, she tongued and blew in one ear and then the other ear. Then she got up and pulled something out of her night table draw. It was the extra sharp scissor, she had bought at the hardware store.

I said. "good. You're going to cut the rope off me at last."

She smiled and said, "I'm going to cut something off, but not the rope."

I said, "oh come on honey. Enough already."

She laughed and said, "not yet."

I said, "okay. What did you and Karen plan to do with the scissor when this plot was hatched?"

She said, "the plan. Sorry, but I have to cut your shorts off."

I said, "you're going to ruin a perfectly good pair of shorts."

She said, "I don't want to untie you yet. And cutting your shorts off is the only other way I can give you your surprise."

As I started to say, "you are kidding right,?" she moved the scissors up the side of my shorts, and cut them away, and then slid them off me.

Then she pointed the can of whip cream, where the shorts had just been and sprayed.

I yelled, "oh honey. that feels cold."

She smiled and said, "you won't feel cold there for long."

Then she started to lick up all the whip cream with her tongue. She licked and licked and while she licked her hands were running all up and down my waist and thighs. My body started to shake with excitement, but the rope kept a firm grip on me.

Then with every inch of my body tingling, she climbed on top of me. It was Rocket Ships and the Forth Of July fireworks.

She asked, "did you enjoy your surprise honey?"

As she untied me, I replied. "Oh yes, I enjoyed my surprise. Oh, did I ever enjoy my surprise."

4:24 PM - 8/22/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Five Months In Hell

Books That Sizzle

No one ever wanted to talk about this. No one ever wanted to dare know the sacrifice that so few made for so many. Its been about 24 years now since it happened, and I think at last, its time to talk about it.

There is no more Soviet Union today. But at the time the Iranians took the hostages, the US and the Soviet Union could have become easily embroiled in a world war if the US did to Iran what Iran deserved to have done to it.

Until that point, the US Navy had been a fair weather Navy. We never had deployed US warships in that region during the extremly hot summer months. The Iranians were well aware of this, but they didn't figure that one lone US warship would have the nerve to face down the entire Iranian military all by itself.

We did our part, but in my view deciding not to invade Iran was a blunder on Washington's part. Of course, I can see the concern they most likely had about a reaction from the former Soviet Union, but I would have taken that risk if I were President, and I'm sure they were positive that Ronald Reagan would not hesitate to invade when he took over for Jimmy Carter. In fact, just a few hours after Reagan was sworn in on January 20th 1981 all of the hostages were released after being held captive for 444 days.

Unlike Reagan, I would have still launched an invasion of Iran even with the hostages being freed. It would have been unpopular, but it would have been the right thing to do and we wouldn't have to worry about those maniacs getting nuclear weapons today.

I suspect that Iran will be invaded soon after election day unless the government is toppled internaly before then. This will happen regardless of who wins the election. Radical governments can not be tolerated anymore. The world has changed after 911 and those that haven't yet noticed better wake up in a hurry.

When the Iranians first took the hostages, I had no idea what the media may have been reporting on TV. I was over there, sitting right off the coast of Iran through the whole thing. I doubt if the TV news talked about it, but five of my fellow shipmates became certified as insane during that time. Before I joined the Navy, I had worked on Wall Street, so most likely I had already been insane proof. In fact Jerry Seinfeld had been pouring me beer eight classes at a time at the local Brew'N Burger. So, how much more insane could things be anyway?

The pressure was enormous, and those poor souls just couldn't handle it. The main culprit was sleep deprivation. After going months and months with so little sleep some people just snaped. Sleep deprivation coupled with a blazing heat that we never before experienced was a hardship that I hope no one ever has to endure.

As fate would have it, we just happened to have the most advanced weapon of the time. In case it still may be classified, lets just say we could have easily sent the Ayatollah, a not so friendly gretting. The chance of war with Iran was especialy hard for me to conceive.

It didn't hate the Iranians, in fact I liked them. I ran across many Iranians that were being trained by the US Navy when the Shaw was still in power. The ones that I knew were very friendly and they cherised American values. They were mild manered and very friendly. It disturbed me to think what happened to their country. Its just my opinion of course, but I think the Iranians that I knew will someday take their country back from the tryants that hate.

I don't really think that anyone really ever knew the real story of what went on behind the scenes when the hostages were taken. But I think that now America deserves to hear the true story from someone that was there at the time.


It was plain and simple. When the Iranians took the Americans hostage, there was no ready made plan for such a contingency. Virtually all our planning revolved around how to win a war with the former Soviet Union.

I can even recall the CNO coming aboard my US Navy ship back in the 70's and stating that it would take about 28 minutes to destroy the entire Soviet Navy if war were to occur.

Knowing that both countries had nuclear missles, talk like that scared the hell out of me. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there would not be any world left to win if both countries launched all their missles.

With our entire focus on the former Soviet Union at the time, little military pip squeak countries like Iran were not even considered as far as being any kind of a threat to our national security. So, when the Iranians first took the hostages, we had no ready plan to react.

At the time the hostages were taken, our deployment was just about over. Everyone was exhausted and looking forward to going home. We had recently gone through three very bad typhons.

Even the last few Ports we were in were not exactly fun Ports. We had been to Deigo Garcia where the only two females on the entire island were the English Governor's wife and their pet duck.

Before that we had pulled into Somalia against the advice of the CIA warning us how dangerous it was there. Because it was an Islamic country, no drinking was allowed and they were having a war with their neighbor at the time.

But they had kicked the Russians out because the Russians, who had been giving weapons to both countries in the past sided with Somalia's neighbor in the dispute.

I suppose we may have been interested in taking over the Russian Navy base there. Obviously other people also had reasons to be there. I didn't know it at the time, but at one point in Somalia, I and my shipmates were on a bus that was parked accross the street from where Bin Laden and his wife were standing with their Camels.

Like I say, none of us knew who he was then, but the cold chill in his eyes and his wifes eyes sent chills up my spine even in the 130 degree heat.

The bus was there waiting several minutes for clearance to go to the Russian base, but I noted that neither Bin Laden nor his wife even so much as blinked the entire time. It were as if they were stone.

We didn't know what to expect in Somalia. The Russians had been there for a long time. We even went so far as to tell everyone that we would blow the ships horn for everyone to come back if anything went wrong.

The heat was unreal there. It was 130 degrees in the shade. The natives warned us not to swim in the water. They said that 19 of them had recently been devoured by sharks. But the water was our only escape from the heat.

The guys from the Midwest were really getting done in by the heat. Because there is no natural salt in any fruits or vegetables grown in the Midwest, they have almost no resistance to intense heat. After we left that fun Port than Mother Nature played havoc with us.

Numerous under water earth quakes had been occuring resulting in pop up islands that were not on our charts. This caused some very complicated navigational problems. To make matters worse, we were in waters that we weren't accustomed to being in.

Two countries had been jointly developing missle technology that they were testing in a remote part of the ocean. We did things to make our ship look like a fishing trawler so they didn't know we were there. The irony was that a fishing trawler would never be fishing in a spot like that anyway.

I'm sure both countries knew who we were, but we always had to make everything a game. We even had to sink all our trash deep down just in case they tried to identify who we were by the sort of trash we threw overboard.

We were really all sick and tired of playing 007, but just when we thought we were going home, we had to rush out to the Persian Gulf. The Iranians had taken the hostages and we were the only game in town.

We were completly cut off from our supply lines. Soon after, we completly ran out of cigarattes. My shipmates were breaking into the life boats to retrive stale cigarattes that were placed there about three years before.

When we ran out of chemicals to run the evaporators to de-salinate the salt water into fresh, we had to take showers on the flight deck whenever we found a rain squal. Then, the toilet paper went along with the candy and chips.

The entire crew was under a tremendous strain. Shipmates were starting to do strange things that they wouldn't do under normal circumstances. The Captain became quite upset when he noticed one of my shipmates sun bathing stark naked outside his State Room.

People were tired and they started making mistakes. I wrote constant comedy scripts and long love letters to my favorite sweetheart to keep my mind occupied. Just as I was finishing page 68 of a love letter, I was the only one to notice that a shipmate had fallen overboard. Everyone else had fallen sound asleep.

As my shipmate was falling overboard I was just ending my love letter with the words I've always ended it with everything you do seduces me.

At the time, I got quite a kick out of writing long love letters. I had realized that the post office in that country had been making copies of everything I wrote and passing it all around the country.

I was subtle of course, but I was making comical statements and little hints about how much better that counrty would be without its dictator. Soon after my 100th letter, there was a revolution that deposed the dictator and restored democracy. Of course I can't take credit for the revolution, but I enjoy thinking that I may have given the revolution a little push with my love letters. Anyway, it kept me sane for all those months, but then again, I may have already been crazy to begin with.

Anway we got my ship mate back thanks to that long love letter. I was the only one awake that day because I was determined to finish writing that letter. That day I saved a shipmate and soon after my vigilance perhaps may have even saved planet earth.

When a Russian sub came to close we almost fired. If we had fired that may have set off a series of events that could have destroyed planet earth.

Before joining the Navy I had a job where everything had to be exactly percise. So when everyone else yelled that the Russian sub was over the line, I knew they were wrong.

Yes, the Russian sub was for sure playing chicken and cutting it very close, but I was sure that they were still within the allowed bounds.

At last the Russian sub turned away. But if I had listened to calls to fire, then I fear, there would be no more planet earth today. No one was happier to see the Cold War end than I. When you experience first hand just what sort of devastation can occur by an error in judgement, it makes you realize that no one should have weapons like this any where. Its just too dangerous.

Soon after the earth was saved we ran completly out of fuel, and while anchored, I experienced first hand how the oil industry is destroying the echo system.

There was a major oil spill. It was so sad to see the very proud Albertros landing on the ship and asking for our help. Under normal circumstances an Albertros will never land on a ship and never make human contact. But humans caused the problem and only humans could remedy the problem as well.

It was heart breaking to see the proud birds all covered in oil. Oh, how I cursed our SUV's when I saw that sight of the poor oil soaked birds for weeks on end.

We did the best we could and cleaned off as many birds as we could, but they kept coming and coming. My only regret is that I didn't have a Cam Corder to document what happened.

We were stuck out there for five months until an entire Armada came to relief us. We were there alone for so long, but then the sea was black with US Warships.

The CNO came aboard and stated that we now had four times the fire power of the entire Pacific Fleet during the last World War sitting of the coast of Iran.

For sure, we weren't playing with these people, but our job was over and we just wanted to go home. We had payed a heavy price for safeguarding the hostages. Five shipmates had gone insane over that five months.

We had been at sea for so long that we got strange orders from Washington. They told us to all wear street clothes on board for three days just to get acclimated to a normal life again.

Then for the first time in history Jimmy Carter ordered that Heneiken beer be airlifted to us by helicopter so we could drink it on board. Unlike other Navies such as Canada and Australia, the US had never before allowed drinking on board.

So, this was a very unusual gesture for a US President to make. At last we hit a Port. We were the first War Ship ever to pull into a Club Med.

When I first walked on to the island I had to sit down for a minute to adjust my sea legs. I was so used to the rocking of the ship, I felt as if the island should be rocking.

While I sat there adjusting my sea legs back into land legs a beautiful woman walked over to my table and presented me with a vintage bottle of wine on behalf of her country.

I figured she most likely thought I was an Admiral or something, but she was very beautiful, so I played along. After we finished the bottle of vintage, wine she asked if I would join her in a Mid Night swim on the beach.

I told her I didn't bring a bathing suite.

She smiled, looking at me as if I were an exquisite chocolate and said. "Neither did I."

She then took my hand in hers and said. The Moon is beautiful tonight.

I said. "If I'm dreaming all this please don't wake me. Its been a while since I've been in heaven.

She asked. "Will you be my Angel tonight?"

I said. "Why not?"

Then she said."You will be in heaven tonight."

We had quite a party in her island hut. We both fell sound asleep after a while. When we woke we realized that we had slept right through a tropical storm. When we walked out of the hut we found that every hut around ours was totaly devestated. How our hut was spared is a mystery I have never figured out.


We made it home despite Jean Dixon making a prediction that we would never make it back. We defied all odds and accomplished something that may have given the world a second or even a third chance.

Had we not have been there, the hostages may have perished and we just might of decided to make Iran dissapear as a consequence. But the worst for all parties was avoided. Since that day my views on many things have changed. In fact I'm now turned on like mad if I'm going with a babe that's really into politics and deep thinking in general. Because now, I always ask why. But how much longer can we keep pushing our luck? I wonder.

4:35 AM - 8/22/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

My Special Princess

 Did you ever make a decision, and then wondered if it was right? Sometimes fate gives you unexpected surprises when you least expect it.

At the time, I was kind of down in the dumps. I had just called off a year long engagement and I just didn't have that usual bubble.

We were about to head home, and then, something happened, that would at least prove fantastic for me. There was, lets say, a military threat to Thailand at the time, and an American US Naval presence was warranted.

We rushed to Pattaya Beach at full speed, a resort town, for the "Super Rich", that normally would not be a Port O' Call for any warship. But, at the time, it was just another day for me. I just wasn't in the mood to celebrate.

I was thinking. "A year engaged to the same girl, I got so accustomed to her, but now I would have to start all over again."

No, I really didn't want to start that dating stuff again.

I thought. "I just want to hide away some where from the World for a while."

We steamed into Pattaya, and my friend Kevin asked. "What are your plans for Pattaya Beach?"

I said. "I don't know Kevin, I really haven't given it any thought."

Kevin then said. "I'm going to try and buy a stone for my wife. I heard that they have some good values there."

I laughed and said to Kevin. "Stones. Is that what you're going to do with the remains of the family fortune?"

Kevins family had almost of their money invested in what they thought was a very safe Utility Company, that latter became better known as "Three Mile Island".

He laughed, and said. "I think they would rather sink more money into "Three Mile Island", then to trust me with the rest of the family fortune. They know I would spend it all."

I said. "Okay Kevin, I will check out the stones with you, but lets not go anywhere where there are women, I'm just not in the mood."

Kevin said. "Thats easy for me, I've been avoiding women since I got married."

I said. "Well, you have the knack Kevin. You went to an girls College with your billionaire friend. Only two guys in that entire College. You must have developed a technique over all those years to ignore women when you wanted to. You got your journalism degree, so you must have been focused at least at times."

"I focused every once in a while." Kevin said laughing.

I said. "Yeah, thats what I have to do, get focused. I just wish I knew what to focus on."

Kevin said. "Okay, no women. But how bout some of that Thai beer?"

I said. "Allright. But I'm only having one. That stuff only comes in quart bottles."

So, the ship pulls into Pattaya, and I and Kevin think we are just going to check out some stones and have some Thai beer. But of course that story takes a very strange turn. We pick out a store, and Kevin doesn't like any of the stones.

The girl says. "Wait. I have more stones upstairs that I will bring down."

So while we are waiting, I and Kevin start talking about the current comedy routine that we were working on. Now, there is this girl behind us, that we can't see. She's looking at something else in the store. What we don't know, is that she can hear every word that were saying. Now, I and Kevin are just going on and on.

Now this girl is trying to be polite, so she's doubled up with pain trying not to laugh. Then I guess she got to the point where she could no longer stand. But, like I say, we don't know about any of this.

You have to understand that in this part of the Orient its not polite for people to laugh at other people. People are also somewhat guarded with their opinions and feelings for others. There is a certain protocol that all abide by. So, if we were of that culture, we could be offended by someone laughing at our conversation.

Now the girl returns from upstairs with the stones, and notices that this girl is laying on the floor gagging.

She yells. "Help."

We run over and it appears to me as if the girl is trying to talk, but she can't. Her face seems all flush and red, as if she's having a high blood pressure attack or something.

The girl from the store than yells to me and says. "Give her mouth to mouth."

I gave her mouth to mouth, and then she seemed to revive. Now she starts to talk.

She explains. "I am fine, I just had a laughing fit."

Kevin then says to her. "What were you laughing about?"

Then she explained. "I overheard heard your conversation and I was afraid that you would think that I was rude if I laughed. So, I tried to hold back from laughing. But the two of you just kept getting funnier and funnier. So finally, I fell to the floor doubled up with pain from trying not to laugh."

I looked at Kevin and said. "Wow, its not just sailors that find us funny."

Kevin said. "Gee. I thought all those guys that said they were laughing so much, that they got sick to their stomachs were just putting us on."

I said damn Kevin. "You could get people sea sick on land."

Now she starts laughing again, but she's not trying to hide it. She thanks me for saving her life, after I and Kevin, almost killed her with our comedy routine.

She says. "Come with me. I know where you can get the stones you want."

She ushers us into this waiting limo with a driver standing there to open the door for her.

She says to the driver. "They are my friends."

Then she tells him where to drive to.

So, I'm thinking. "Well she rented a limo for the day. But I wondered why the driver kept calling her Princess. But I thought maybe he calls all the pretty girls Princess."

We get to the store. Kevin finds a stone he likes. Then the girl quotes him a price. While he's thinking about the price, the girl were with whispers in the shopkeepers ear, and then the shopkeeper quotes Kevin, half that price.

Kevin says. "Its a deal."

We leave the shop and get back into the limo.

Kevin says. "Where are we going?"

She says. "You two made me laugh again, so I want to take you home for dinner."

The limo stops, and I'm thinking. "This is home."

Its an incredible Mansion with an enormous swimming pool, and servants seem to be everywhere.

We have a great dinner and a great conversation. The vibes are unreal. We have a few after dinner drinks and then Kevin dozes off on the chair.

She laughs, and asks. "Did I put your friend to sleep?"

I laughed and said. "No its married life. Ever since he got married, he just can't seem to stay awake past midnight."

She then asks. "How bout a dip in the pool?"

I smiled and said. "Sounds refreshing, but I didn't bring a bathing suit with me."

She smiled and said. "Neither did I."

We headed to the pool, and it was quiet and tranquil there. As she removed her top, I couldn't help but stare at very endowed breasts.

I said."You have nice seized breasts for a Thai girl."

She smiled and said. "That's because I'm not a Thai girl. Didn't you notice that I never bow?"

Laughing I said. "I'm not the most observant kind of guy."

Smiling she said. "You just notice nice seized breasts. Do you like what you see?"

As she slid out of her skirt I said. "Oh yeah, that's the way I like it.

She ran her hands down my chest and said."You're very muscular. Do they make everyone in America like you?"

I laughed and said. "I was the last one they made like this."

That night, there was a full Moon out, and it was quite romantic.

We swam around the pool for a while and then embraced. It felt wonderful as her breasts pressed against my chest. As my hands slid down her shapely thighs, I started to lust with arousal. I had only known her for a short while, but it didn't seem that way.

I thought to myself. "Is it all the booze I had thats giving me this dreamy feeling?"

As I felt her hands start to slide down my waste, I realized that she wanted to do moore than just smooch.

Then, I thought. "She's very wealthy. Could I just be a toy for her to amuse herself with for a night?"

I gazed into her eyes for an answer, but I could only feel her sweet lips.

And at last, I said to myself. "Stop being so analytical and enjoy the moment."

She said. "Its very dangerous here for you. The North Vietnamese have crossed the Cambodian border and are headed this way."

I touched her hand and said. "I know its dangerous. Thats why I'm here. We want to make sure they don't cross into Thailand. Dont worry I can be your hero baby."

As the night went into day, so to did the pain of my broken engagement dissipate. She was just what the doctor ordered. Our passion sizzled for the entire two weeks we were there. But the last night was so hard.

I had to tell her. "Our ship is leaving in the morning."

She said. "No don't leave me. You can have anything you want if you stay with me. Can't you see that I've fallen in love with you? I can think of nothing but you and I need you.

I was tempted, I was very tempted, she was beautiful, she was wealthy and she was brilliant.

But I had a duty, and I knew it would be wrong to stay. But oh, how I wanted to. To shirk all my responsibility, was just so tempting. To this day I wonder if I threw away a trump card that fate had dealt me. Were we meant to be, happily ever after, or were we just both an interlude, that we both needed at the time?

I went back to the ship that morning and just before we pulled out, there was a phone call for me. I asked. "Who is on the phone?"

I was told it was some girl claiming to be a Princess.

I said. "What? A Princess."

I'm thinking. "Why would a Princess want to talk to me?"

Then I thought. "Ah, someone's playing a joke on me. I picked up the phone and said, King Henry here."

And then I heard the voice say. "Why are you joking? I am very sad, and I called to say goodbye and to thank you for the most wonderful two weeks, I ever had in my life."

I said. "I'm sorry, I thought you were the one joking. They told me I had a call from a Princess."

She said. "Yes. Thats me. I'm a Princess."

I asked. "Are you telling me that I spent the last two weeks with a Princess?"

She said. "Yes. Who did you think I was?

I said. "But you said you weren't a Thai."

She said. "Thailand is not the only country where Princess's come from. If you change your mind, you know where I will be."

I laughed, and said to her. "Well if you ever come to America and you want to find me, check all the mental wards, I'm seriously thinking of having myself committed, just as soon as were stateside again."

2:24 AM - 8/22/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

The Boss

What's Hot

A very funny journalist that has a blog called Breaksat At Tiffany's, wrote the other day in her famous blog that she was a starving artist living in a closet. Starving I suppose because her very small apartment doesn't even have a stove. But yet her rent is very high. Yet she's happy. Happy, because she's living close to the Stars that she writes about.

I could relate to her plight. I to once lived in a very high rent neighborhood. After a hitch in the Navy, I just couldn't imagine myself living in Brooklyn anymore. It was where I grew up and there will always be a place in my heart for Brooklyn, but I just can't deal with living there any longer.

After spending so many years out on the West Coast and learning to speak proper English, it scared the hell out of me to think that I might settle back down in Brooklyn and revert to speaking a Brooklyn dilect again. I had no idea that I was speaking a very foreign language until I left Brooklyn. All I had to say were either the words coffee or water and everyone realized I was from Brooklyn.

When I first left the Navy I had a golden tan from all those years in the Pacific and when I talked to someone that didn't know me, they always asked me where I was from. At first I just thought they wondered why I had such a deep tan in the middle of the winter. But, they all said you don't sound Brooklyn. And they were right. I was speaking a foreign language in my native Brooklyn.

So, there was only one thing to do. It was time to move to Manhattan. I found an apartment that I could afford in one of the plushest places in Manhattan. But I had to sacrifice. I could only swing the rent for a studio apartment. But my new neighbors weren't like the ones I were acustomed to in Brooklyn.

Walter Cronkite lived across the street from me. Gloria Vanderbilt was around the corner and Maureen Ohara was down the street. Everywhere I went people smiled and called me The Boss. I just thought it was some kind of Manhattan thing or something. But one day when I took a date to a very exclusive place and asked if I could get a table without a reservation, I was told, Yes, we always have a table for The Boss.

I asked my date. "Who the hell is this Boss guy."

She said. "You're not serious."

I said. "Just tell me what this Boss thing is."

She laughed and asked. "How may years have you been a cloistered Monk?"

I asked. "Have things changed that much? I've been overseas for a long time. But have I gotten that so far out of touch?"

She said. "Okay, I'll tell you. Bruce Springsteen is The Boss and you look just like him. That's who they think you are."

I said. "Oh, Bruce Sprigsten,

I've heard of him. I just didn't make The Boss connection. Does that mean I don't look like Elvis anymore?"

She laughed and said. "Elvis. Who told you that you looked like Elvis?"

I lauged and said. "I dated a girl in high school that was a big Elvis fan. She always told me I looked like him."

She lauged and said. "Well right now you look like Bruce Springsteen. At least that's why I'm dating you. Here, just look at this picture of Bruce Springsteen at his Barcelona concert. He looks like your twin here."

I laughed and said. "Oh, I thought you were going out with me because I had such a spacious studio apartment."

She said. By the way, how did you find that apartment?"

I said. "It helps when you're Uncle is President of the Real Estate Board."

She laughed and said. "I had to read the obituaries for months before the right person passed away in the apartment I was looking for."

I laughed and said. You're not having a fantasy that I'm Bruce Sprinsteen when were making it. Are You?"

She hesitated and said. "No. He doesn't sing deep meaning songs like your favorite http://coachb.net/why.htm song Why. Tell me, are you having a fantasy that I'm someone else when were making love?"

I said. "No, of course not. But did I ever tell you how much you looked like Cindy Crawford?"

1:53 AM - 8/22/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Skinny Dip Seduction

 I suppose that just about everyone that lives near a creek or a lake takes a skinny dip at some point with a friend. Its quite a normal and natural thing to do actualy. But at least in Robert's case, he never experienced a skinny dip.

9:31 PM - 8/21/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

A Friends Strange Perversion

 "What did you think of her,? Ned asked.

 "Your sisters very nice,"Bruce answered.

 "I mean her bod Bruce. Do you think she's stacked or what?"

 "I guess Ned."

 "Guess Bruce. Let me put it this way. You'd like to jump her bones right."

 "'She's very nice Ned, but I'm sure she's got lots of boyfriends."

 "You're right on that Bruce, she's a nyphomania. She just can't help herself. She even tried to seduce me one time."

 "Her own brother Ned, you're putting me on right."

 "Wish I was Bruce, but I'm not. When we were both twelve a bolt of lightning hit close to the house and I ran into her bedroom to make sure she was okay. She was laying on her bed stark naked and as I moved closer to her she spread her legs out wide and asked me to sleep with her. Even at 12 she was hot. Of course she wasn't developed like she is now. I just kind of stared at her and walked out. But if that happened now, I just don't know?"

 "Oh come on Ned, of course you know. Yeah, sure, she's stacked, but she's still your sister and at 12 she was most likely having a sexual fantasy about you and every other guy in your home town. That's perfectly normal. Just all part of adolesnce.

 "Just the same Bruce, I hope you accept her invitation for diner tonight because I really don't want to be alone with her after she just broke up with her boyfriend."

 "Okay Ned, if you put it that way, I'll go."

 "All right then Bruce, lets go, Its a good hours drive to get to her place."

 "I better drive back, because your not to good at night driving Ned."

 "Good Bruce, then I'll have a couple drinks if you're driving back. Oh just one thing, my sister doesn't like it if anyone calls her Marsh for short. So just remember its Marsha or you can forget about jumping on her bones."

 Arriving at Marsha's place they noticed Marsha frolicing in the pool wearing a very skimpy bikini. Her well endowed breats and shapely thighs were a real visual treat..

 "Oh, you're here already, I guess I lost track of the time. What are you drinking? I have everything." Marsha said.

 "I'll have a double shot of  whisky Marsha, because Bruce is gonna drive back," Ned answered.

 "You heard Marsha, so just make mine a single shot and heavy on the ice cubes," Bruce requested.

 "Will do, but I hope you'll stay over. I've been kind of lonely lately and I'd like the company. I'll even cook breakfast for you," Marsha said.

 Now sitting down to diner after a few drinks Bruce thought to himself, "gee, she never changed out of that bikini and everytime she moves, her breasts seem to be bouncing around more and more in that flimsy bikini top."

 "How bout another round of drinks," Marsha asked.

 "Only if you make mine very weak Marsha," Bruce requested.

 "I'll take another double and give Bruce a double too, were staying over," Ned said.

 "The drive back is no problem for me Ned."

 "I know that Bruce, but my sister said she's lonely, so lets give her a party."

 "Yes, I'll drink to that, so its settled, you're all staying over. Cheers," Marsha said.

"All right in that case then, no more ice cubes in that whisky then Marsha," Bruce said with a smile.

 As Bruce started to drink his double whisky he could feel Marshas foot slipping up his leg from under the table. At first he tought "ah, she's just having some fun."

 But as  her foot roamed further up Bruce's legs Ned noticed what was going on and said, "well. I'm feeling these drinks now, I'm gonna go up stairs and crash.

 "Okay, sleep tight Ned, and I'll wake you up for breakfast in the morning."

 As Ned headed up stairs Marsha poured another round for her and Bruce and then sat beside him at the table.

 "Well," Marsha said looking at Bruce."

 "Well what,": Bruce asked.

 Marsha answered, "he just turned off the upstairs bedroom light.

 "And I think we should call it a day to Marsha, Its really getting late."

 "You're right Bruce, it is late. Can I give you a good night kiss."

 "Sure you can Marsha,"

 But Marsha wanted a lot more than a good night kiss. Once her lips met his she quickly started to French kiss him as her fingers quickly unbuttoned his shirt. As her fingers explored his chest he undid her bikini top and twirled his tongue around her nipples until they came to a hardened point.

 "We should stop, he could wake up at any time," Bruce said with hesitation."

 "Do you really want to stop,? she asked smiling seductively."

  "No, I don't," he said as he undid the string to her bikini bottoms and slid his fingers inside her

 As she unbottoned his pants, he asked "do you need to moan."

 "Only when I'm faking an orgasm, so you better do me good if you don't want to hear my fake moan," she whispered.

 '"Don't worry babe, you won't have to fake an orgasm with me," he quipped.

 As she slipped his jock strap off and noticed the massive size of his erection she said "doesn't look like I'll need to fake anything with you, but lets not do it at the table. We can do it quiter on the solid floor."

 "Okay, but just remember no moaning Marsha."

 Marshas thighs shook wildly on the floor as Bruce found her G spot and kept working it until she became a pool of saturation.

 "Are you ready for me now,? he asked.

 "I'm ready," Marsha said in a loud tone forgeting for a moment that her brother was sleeping up stairs."

 "Oh hell Marsha, I hope that didn't wake him."

"Sorry Bruce, don't worry about him. He's not stupid. He most likely expected this would happen anyway."

 "I don't know Marsha, this is just so weird, maybe we should stop."

 She asked ,stroking his now massive erection, "do you really want to stop?"

 He answered, "hell no," while lifting her legs up and climbing on top of her.

 As he thrusted deep inside her he could feel her vaginal walls get ever tighter as her legs wrapped firmly around her waist. But as Bruce thrusted ever deeper into her, Ned was now awake and watching them from the top of the staircase, Bruce had his back to the staircase, so he had no idea that Ned was watching, but Marsha could clearly see Ned watching them, but she said nothing.

 At last Bruce exploded inside of Marsha as she became super tight around him. Exhausted now Bruce said, "I'm ready to call it a day now."

 Tucking him into bed she said, "okay, get some rest lover boy, I'll see you in the morning. and then I'll want more"

 But as the morning sun began to creep into the window Bruce was awakened by the sounds of noisy furniture. Thinking that something might be wrong he ran up stairs only to see the site of Ned mounted and thrusting deep inside of Marsha, as she moaned wildly.

 "So, the both of you used me. I thought we were friends. How could you," Bruce said in disgust.

 "I told you she was a nyphomania Bruce and I knew you wanted to jump on her bones by the way you looked at her. So we all got want we wanted."

 "You also told me she was your sister Ned and now I've been draged into you're perversions. 'I'm calling a cab and I suggest that the both of you call someone for help."

1:44 AM - 8/21/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

Was I Dating An Alien?

 I'm a fairly ordinary guy, but after two weeks of dating Triffy, things just didn't seem very ordinary anymore. I had taken a girl named Barbra to a drive in movie. Not sure if they still have drive in movies anymore today, but back in the 70's they still had a few drive in movies left in California along with the left over Chariots.

 Barbra asked, "would you get me some buttered pop corn and a Coke?"

 With a smile, I said,"sure."

 I headed over to the pop corn stand and it was lust at first site. It seemed as if her eyes were sparkling. Her blouse and skirt were skin tight.

 She asked,"are you from around here?" I've never noticed you before."

 I  laughed and replied, "I'm from a far away planet they call New York."

 She smiled radiantly and said, "I'm from a far away planet to, but I got stuck here for a while."

 "Missed the ride back on the space ship," I joked.

 "Something like that," she said smiling.

 "I'm supposed to be in Europe, but the Navy stuck me out here on the left coast. They just don't know how to read a dream sheet," I smiled.

 "What do you do with the Navy," she asked.

 "Im a communications specialist," I answered.

 She smiled glowingly and said, "I'm into communications to."

 I laughed and asked, "that's what you do on your planet when you're not selling pop corn."

 She smiled and said, "something like that.

"Oh, could I have a buttered pop corn and a Coke," I asked.

 "Wouldn't you rather have something else,?" she whispered seductively.

 "Yes, I would, but this is for Barbra, the girl that's waiting for me to bring this back to the car."

 "Would Barbra miss you if you didn't come back,?" she whispered almost hypnoticly."

 I answered."I don't know, but I think she would wonder about what happened to the pop corn and Coke."

 "Okay." She said, reluctantly handing me the pop corn and coke.

 "Maybe another time," I said.

 "I'd like that, My name is Triffy. Here's my number. Call me when you're finished getting pop corn for Barbra," she said.

 "My name is Tim, maybe another time Triffy," I said.

 I brought the pop corn and coke back to Barbra. She snuggled up with me and asked, "Didn't you want anything?"

 "Want anything what,?" I asked.

 "Didn't you want a snack? She said, seeming puzzled.

 "Oh, I just didn't think of it," I replied.

 Smiling seductively, she said. "I'm willing to share."

 She then gazed into my eyes and started to kiss me, but I couldn't get Triffy out of my mind. It were as if she had cast a spell on me. Barbra was very pretty, and I really did like her, but I felt as if I were now wearing the wrong size shoe. I needed size Triffy, but I tried hard to fit into size Barbra.
After the movie I drove Barbra home. She asked me in, but I told her I had some work to do that just couldn't wait.

 I drove down Pacific Coast Highway and parked by one of the massive cliffs to think and reflect. The height of the cliffs, the wonderful splashing sound of the water always seemed to invigorate my thought process.

 I debated with myself if I should call Triffy or not. I knew nothing about her except that she was very beautiful. She just wasn't the kind of girl you would expect to be selling pop corn. At least not with those looks.

 She intrigued me. At last, I decided to call her just out of curiousity.
I just had to know where she came from, what she was into and what the heck was she doing selling pop corn. But, I was really fooling myself. Deep down, I was really attracted to her.

 I didn't even want to admit to myself that I could be such a cad. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted her anyway.
So, I called. She told me a few things about herself and we made a date to go to the beach the next day. After seeing her in a bikini on the beach the next day my mind just went blank.

 Her body was pure Heaven. I didn't have any more questions to ask her. I was totaly under her spell. Barbra was just now a distant memory.

 After the beach we went back to her place and she seemed to have candles everywhere. They seemed to have a nice smelling scent, but they were like no other candles I had sniffed before. I was going to ask her what all the candles were about, but when she changed into a very sexy nighty, I lost my train of thought as I watched her light the candles.

 She finished the last one and put her arms around me and then I just melted in her embrace.
I was turned on like I was never turned on before. Just when I thought okay that's enough of this now, she seemed to turn on my second and third gear.

 It were as if she were re-generating my battery. Just when I thought my energizer bunny was finished, she turned on my fourth and fifth gear. I didn't know what was happening.

 I asked myself "why."

 But I couldn't find an answer.
But I suppose all good things must come to an end. After two weeks with her, I got orders to go to the South Land. I had never before been in the South before and it was a long flight from California.

 So, when I first got off the plane, I thought I might be experiencing some jet lag. Or maybe two weeks with her just plum wore me out.

 I didn't know what it was, but I was feeling very dizzy. I wasn't accustomed to the swampy type air of the South Land, so I thought, "maybe I just need a day or two to acclimate to the different climate."

 But I continued to get dizzy. At last, I went to sick bay and told everyone there that I keep getting dizzy. They couldn't find anything wrong with me from routines tests, so they said they had to make sure I wasn't crazy.

 Being confident that I was totaly sane I told them to give me any test they wanted. So, they put some strange wires on my head and kept saying that's amazing.

 "Whats so amazing,?" I asked my very big busted Nurse.

 Smiling seductively, she said,"your brain scan. It keeps showing that you're having a sexual thought every forty seconds."

 "Only every forty seconds", I quipped starring at her endowed breasts with surprise."

 Smiling ever more seduvtively she said, "you're a sex machine.The average male only has a sexual thought every four minutes."

 "So, I'm over sexed and now I've lost my mind,?" I asked.

 She answered, "no, just the opposite. If you were only having a sexual thought every five minutes you would be losing your mind. So having a sexual thought every forty seconds makes you super sane. The best reading we ever got from anyone was every three minutes. You're every forty seconds is out of this world."

 "Out of this world. That's what I was afraid of. So how do I turn myself off,? I asked.

 "What turned you on like this? That's what I'd like to know so I could bottle it," she said.

 Laughing now, I said, "sorry, but I don't kiss and tell."

 Of course I could have come clean and told her that I kind of suspect that I recently spent two fun filled weeks with a dynamite woman that was most likely a space alien. But I was getting bored with all the tests. And anyway, she was quite a looker. And I had a feeling she wanted to take me for a test run to check out that every forty second quirk.

 "So, what is wrong with me then,?" I asked.

 She took my hand and said, "we've got to get you away from this swamp air."

 "How can we do that,?" I asked.

 "I have central air conditioning," she replied.

1:40 AM - 8/21/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Going All The Way

 Paul slid the third button from it's tight slit of her soft, pink, blouse. His heart was racing. She's never allowed it this far before. Fingers now touching, where they dared not before, Kay's heart was pounding as she felt his hands slide quickly down her blouse.

His hands were now firmly on her waist. She felt her blouse now open wide. Her eyes glanced down to watch his fingers undo her last blouse button. Boldly, he pulled her blouse upward, untucking it from her skirt.

She said nothing, choosing instead to tease his mouth, touching her tongue softly on its lower lip. Feeling his hands slide firmly underneath the the cups of her bra excited her, causing her to bite hard on his lip. Gulping hard, he pulled his mouth away from hers, and placed his lips firmly on her upper breasts.

Breasts now bouncing as she breathed heavy, his lips sucked hard just above her bra.

She thought to herself, "should I let him take my bra? I know he wants to. He's going to do it."

While inhaling deeply; he blew a breath of hot air down her breasts. Without hearing stop, he boldly pulled her blouse back to her shoulders and slid it off, throwing it to the floor.

Lifting his shirt up high, her eyes feasted on the site of his rippling chest, as he pulled it over his head and off. Tossing the shirt to the floor, his eyes focused on her bra. Looking into her eyes for a clue, she blinked nervously.

He wanted to pull her bra off her right away, but he hesitated.

He thought, "maybe I should wait and see if she pulls it off herself."

Then he thought, "she's expecting me to pull it off her."

He thought, "I'll give her a chance to say something if she thinks I'm going to far."

Hearing nothing from her, he wondered to himself, "should I ask her if I can remove the bra?"

He thought, "I shoud just do it. Now, I should do it now."

She trembled as his fingers moved behind her back and unhooked her bra.

"Hot damn. Her bra unhooked on the very first try," he thought to himself.

Quickly sliding off her, he watched in sheer delight, as her bra fell to the floor. He pulled her close to him, as her breasts now pressed firmly on his chest. Gripping her buttocks firmly, he pushed her tight against his waist.

Rubing close up against his waist, she could feel him, now erect, bulging through his pants.

"It feels so soft," he thought as he felt his erection bumb up between her thighs.

Now trembling, her hands gripped his belt buckle.

"That's a move she had never made before," Paul thought.

Wondering how much further she would go, he thought, "I'll press myself hard between her legs just to see how she reacts."

Pressing into her, he felt her push herself flush against his pants. Feeling his heart pounding ever harder, he breathed heavy on her. Feeling his heavy breaths, she realised, he was just as excited as her.

Suddenly he felt his belt unbuckle, watching her pull it off his pant loops, and throwing it to the floor. Now gulping hard his pants button became undone. His heart raced as he felt her fingers on his pants zipper.

He could feel her hand pressed against the zipper. Her fingers were spread out wide and held firmly and flush with the zipper.

"What's she doing,"? he wondered.

"Make up your mind Kay", he thought to himself.

He wondered, "will she pull it down or am I being teased?"

His heart pounded thunderously, as she suddenly pulled the zipper down and open.

He thought, "at last, she's going all the way."

Staring at his now, wide, open pants she placed her hands firmly on the front of his shorts, exploring the very tight slit. Pulling at both ends of the tight slit her fingers pried it opened.

Reaching her hand through the slit of his shorts, she felt his throbbing erection and pulled it slowly, through the slit opening. With a trembling hand her fingers stroked him curiously.

Totaly suprised at her aggresive move, he looked down to watch what she was doing to him, and then just stood there enjoying her fingers
touching him there for the very first time.

"Why did you stop,?" she asked.

"I don't wanna go too far," he replied.

With a smile, she said, "thats okay, today I decided I want to go all the way."

"Are you really sure?"

"Yes, I'm really sure."

Feeling her tongue swirling around his nipples, his hands slipped under her dress and firmly touched her thighs. Her mouth moved down his rippling chest, planting a series of bites on his skin.

Responding to this new pleasure, he gently touched her breasts and then cuped them in his hand while gently sucking her nipples with his lips.

Moaning, she dug her nails deeply into his back. Reaching for her skirt zipper, he pulled it down and slid her panties down and off. Feeling his hand slide in between her thighs, her fingers moved below his waist and touched him lovingly.

With her hand held out to him, he took it as she led him over to her bed. Pulling off the bedspread, she hesitated, then looked at him, as she threw the bed spread to the floor.

Both of them, now trembling nervously, climbed slowly into bed. At first they held each other tight in their arms and just kissed.Gradually as their kisses became more intent, they started to feel more comfortable in bed together.

"I think she's ready now," Paul thought.

Seeing that she was now laying back on the bed seductivly, he started to gently, run his hands up and down between her thighs. Now, feeling, a soaking saturation in his hands, he felt that the time was now right.

He placed his body over hers. As he braced himself he could feel her hand grip him firmly, as she slowly guided him into her.

Wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, he felt her hands push his buttocks down, driving him deeply inside of her. She moaned with joy as he began to thrust, faster and deeper.

Legs wrapping ever tighter around him, he tried to think of other things, and it helped him hold back for a while. Gripping his buttocks again, as she pushed down ever harder on him, he let go at last.

Embraced in each others arms, they held each other tenderly. Kay whispered to Paul, "I'm glad I had my first experience with you."

Paul whispered back "ditto" and kissed her softly on her lips.

12:25 AM - 8/21/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Jungle Woman

 Her eyes were the color of the darkest night and they pierced through your very soul that could conceal nothing from her. There was no Television, yet you were entertained. No record players, but yet, you could hear the music. The Jungle was her home and it was her symphony. She was one with every creature and she knew them just as anyone would know a neighbor.

 When the Tropical rains would seize the sun would shine on her and project a vision of the most beautiful woman that there could ever be and ever will be.. Her song was the song of an Angel as all the animals of the Jungle went silent to hear her sing. Yet when she was away from her Jungle, to walk with her was like walking down the street with a wild attack dog.

 She totaly detested civilization and she made no secrets of her feelings. She would become enraged if a motor bike kicked up too much dirt.

 She would say, "people are not meant to live like this. The animals are free but yet we have imprisoned ourselves with our machinery. We were meant to hear the sounds of the wind and the rushing waters and a lovers whisper, but not these machines."

 But yet as enraged as she would get outside of her Jungle, when she returned she was the tenderest and most caring woman there could ever be. So tender was she, you couldn't touch her without making love to her. Every ounce of her body exuded with sensuality. Her body was totaly awseome, yet she would barley ever look in a mirror. She would wake up in the morning with a face that most women couldn't acheive with even hours of make up.

 As the sun shined through her window and illuminated the beauty of her body, you couldn't  help but make love to her. But even after making love to her in the early morning hours it was a task just to get through breakfast gazing at her naked breasts.

 She would say, "I never wear a bra or a top when I'm home because I feel as if I'm imprisoning them, if they're covered and nature has no reason to cover my breasts."

 Aside from parading around bare breasted all day most of the time she would either be in nothing but panties or very skimpy shorts. So, between her amazing breasts and her fantastic thighs and legs I was perpetualy turned on. But what was so different about her compared to any other woman that I was ever with, was the fact that entire hours could go by without her ever saying a single word.

 Embraced in each others arms we would feel total contentment and not even feel a need to talk. It was as if our minds were in complete sync and tranquility. Somehow she knew everything I was thinking without me even speaking.

 Of course I can"t be completly sure if it were all because of her or the atmossphere of the Jungle, or perhaps a combination of the two. But I do know that I didn't miss the machinery either. And sometimes I really wonder if we may be undoing ourselves with all the gadgets we have.

 The real irony to me seems to be the reasoning of our so called scientific minds. I mean lets say that you do buy their notion that we evolved from an Ape or something. Then you would have to ask yourself this question. What kind of evolved Animal makes all these kinds of gadgets?

 I know, they would say, "great fingers evolved for us to make tools with."

 But yet, the Apes and Monkeys have the same kind of fingers but they never try to make a skate board or something. All I'm saying is that were not really getting the right story and my gut feeling is that someone imposed this technology on humanoids for some sort of purpose that suited them.

 I think were afraid to even think about it and ask the obvious question of were we ourselves mechanicly enhanced by creatures that would benefit by our labors if we were mechanicaly enhanced to suit their purposes. And by the way, its recently been proved that so called bio engineering can be implanted in animals and it can re-generate itself enabling it to pass down to other generations. Now, I'm not saying that space aliens did this to us. But I am saying that it is a least a possiblity.

 And if you need visible evidence of this, you only have to look at the pyramids. Before any one on earth had any conception of what time was the pyramids were built in a mathmatical way that they would tell time by the suns reflection on them. And I find it quite a stretch that this had anything to do with so called evolution.

 So who are they? What have they been doing to us? And what do they want with us? That should be our focus. But yet, we just keep rolling out more and more gadgets and therefore playing into the hands of those that want to keep us so busy that we will never take a step back in time to ponder what is really going on.

 I think I'm ready to go back to the peace and tranquility of the Jungle. Just to be somewhere again that I control time rather than time controlling me. Whose schedule are we really on? That's the real question. But alas, there is no answer.

10:13 PM - 8/18/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Give The Ladies What They Want (Chapter One)

 It was five minutes to nine pm and I thought I might get away without another call before my shift ended in five minutes. But it was not to be. I got a call on my radio to pick up a woman outside the French Cafe at seventh and Concord.

"Could you take me to Sky Castle,?"she asked.

"Sure, but thats about an hours drive and my shift ends in five minutes. I have a half hour gig to do in five minutes at the Club Wild,"I said.

"I've heard about that club. They have male strippers there. What kind of gig are you doing there,? she asked.

"You guessed it, I'm taking it all off for the ladies at a bachelorete party I'm doing there," I said.

"I'd wait a half hour extra to see that," she said.

"Really, you wouldn't mind waiting? All drinks on me if you're game. You'd save me from getting red faced with the cab company. They don't know I'm a sometime male stripper and I'd like to keep it that way,"I said.

"No problem, I don't drink, but you can buy me a coke if you'd like. So how much of you do you show at the Club Wild,? she asked.

"At Club Wild it all comes off," I answered.

"You mean everything? Even your jock strap? No, you wouldn't. Would you,?" she asked.

"Yes, even the jock strap comes sliding off. Thats what the ladies want and I'm there to give them want they want. But before that jock strap comes off the ladies pad it stuffed with money. That and driving this cab are helping me pay my way through college," I answered.

"Oh, so you're an educated male stripper. Good looks and brains combined. Now I'm getting interested. Will you write you're thesis on male stripping,? she asked with a chuckle.

"Were here, wow quite a few cars parked in the lot. Let me escort you to the bar and buy you a drink. I'll just change into my outfit quick and get this thing going,"I said.

"Why not just take it all of right here and now,"

"Not allowed to. I'm told I have to tease them a bit first. Thats what the outfit is all about." I said.

"Okay go change. I'll be fine. I'll be looking forward to seeing you. Seeing all of you," she said with a smile.

"Hope you won't be dissapointed. There have been rumors that I'm not really a Greek God you know," I said laughing.

Now with my stripper outfit on the music that started to play was my cue to go into my act. I danced over and threw my shirt off. Slowly I started to pull my tank top up my waist letting my abs show. After a little more teasing

  I slowly lifted my tank top above my nipples and pulled it all the way over my head and off. I could hear the ladies screaming wildly as I let my muscles flex.

A few more dance steps and it was time to undo my pants. I undid the pants button and slowly pulled the zipper down. I let my pants slide down past my naval and then just held them there for a few minutes. Then I kicked the pants off and did a few more dance moves. As the music played louder I began to let my jock strap slide my down my thighs. First I turned my back to the girls and pulled my jock srtap down below my butt giving them an eyeful as I wiggled my butt to the pace of the music.

Now it was tip time. I pulled my jock strap back above my butt and danced over to where the ladies were gathered. Now facing them directly I rocked my thighs back and forth as they reached their hands in and stuffed money down my jock strap as they coped a few good feels.

 Now the last song for my act started to play. So now it was time for me to lay myself down in front of the girls and wiggle out of my jock strap for them.

As I wiggled my jock strap down to way below my naval the girls were stuffing me with money as they helped my last bit of modesty slide off my thighs. One girl asked "can I keep the jock strap,?" as she touched me and pulled my jock strap down to my kness.

"Yes, keep take it, its yours" I said as I watched her slide the jock strap completly off me.

"Okay bacholerate, here's your last chance to take advantage of a totaly naked guy while you're still a single woman. Go ahead, feel me up, take advantage of me, I can't resist. Do with me what you want. I'm all yours," I said as I threw my arms back over my head.

Sliding her hands down my chest she stopped at my waist and said, "I love to touch your muscles." she said.

"Go ahead and touch it, its your last chance to touch a man there as a single woman," a voice cried out from the crowd.

"Do you mind if I touch it?" she asked pointing at my cock.

"Go ahead touch it, thats what I'm here for. Its your day and I'm here to give you what you want today,"I answered.

The woman cheered as the bachelorete started to stroke my now throbbing cock with her hands. Then the bachelorete gripped her hand around my cock and said, "lets get a picture of me hoding his cock with my tongue hanging over it."

Her hand started to move quickly up and down my throbbing cock as the cameras clicked away.

"Okay, we have enough pictures now, he's all yours girls" the bachelorete said as she let go of my cock.

As I felt several hands now groping my butt and genitals I gracefuly eased away from the girls while I thanked them for their generosity. As I got up I noticed that the girl that came here in my cab had been standing where she must have gotten a close up view of all of me. And noticing the big smile on her face she seemed pleased by what she had seen.

All the loud music had given me a headache. I just wanted to get my fare to her destination now and call it a day. I threw my clothes on and headed out to my fares destination. It felt a little strange driving with no jock srtap on but I was more concerned about my headache.

"You've got a real nice bod." my fare murmured.

"Thank you. Did you think the music was a bit loud,? I asked.

"Yes it was, I've got a headache from it," she replied.

"My heads splitting," I answered.

"No need to suffer, take these two pills, it will help, I'm taking two myself," she said.

"Thanks, you're a life saver," I replied.

"Did you have an extra pair of jock straps,? she asked.

"No I didn't, but I didn't want to say no to the woman that wanted my jock strap as a souviener."I answered.

"You're kidding right. I mean you're not really driving without a jock strap,?" she asked.

"I wish I were kidding, but I'm not and it feels kind of strange," I said.

Suddenly I felt her placing her hand on my zipper. I glanced down to see her hand pulling my zipper down my pants with one hand while her other hand pulled my cock through the zipper opening.

"Oh, you weren't kidding, no jock strap, but maybe you don't need it now. It looks as if youre cock has shrunk back down to size again from what it was at Club Wild. I guess I don't excite you like the woman did back at Club Wild," she said.

"If you're asking me if I think you have a hot bod, the answer is yes, but I try not to have sexual thoughts while I'm driving, so thats why my cock is limp right now," I said.

She reached under her blouse and undid her bra throwing it on the dash board and pulled her blouse up over her breasts and asked "would these give you a sexual thought while driving?"

Her breasts were beautiful. They were a nice size and very firm. Her nipples were very large and very suckable. I couldn't help but to get an instant erection. I watched as she pulled her blouse back down again and then pulled her dress up to her waist and slid off her panties exposing her pussy to me.

"Oh look at that, a throbbing erection and I thought you didn't think about sex when you were driving. We'll have to do something about that throbbing erection before you have an accident or something," she said.

Suddeny I started to feel a sense of euphoria. As I wondered what was happening I could feel her tongue teasing the shaft of my cock.

"What are you doing,?" I asked.

"I'm running my tongue up and down the shaft of your cock and you're asking me what I'm doing. What kind of a male stripper are you. If you must know I'm about to give your cock a good sucking." she answered.

"But why? Whats going on? And what kind of headache pills did you give me? I'm starting to feel very weird." I said.

"I want to blow your wad so you can bop me. I decided to lose it to you and your way to hard so I got to soften you up a bit," she said.

"Why me,?" I asked.

I picked you because I want to have meaningless sex with someone that means nothing to me but is very good looking. You're perfect for the job. You can give me the bop I need and no strings, no commitment, then we can both go on our merry way," she said.

"What makes you so sure that I would even want to bop you anyway,?" I asked.

"Do you know of one single male any where that would turn down a chance to break the cherry of a good looking virgin," she answered.

"No to be honest I don't, myself included," I said.

"You just answered your own question as I'm a virgin that needs her cherry boped. And I need your cherry boping services, thats all. Now shut up and drive while I give you a blow job that won't soon forget," she said.

She was right. I had answered her question for her. No red bloded male would turn down a chance to break the cherry of a good looking woman. As I tried to grasp what was going on I could now feel her tongue moving up from the shaft of my cock to the head of my cock. After several tongue swirls around the head of my cock her lips went to work on me. As she sucked the head of my cock up and down I got more and more excited. I was afraid that I would soon shot my wad and that it might be a bit mezzy so I figured I'd better talk to her.

"If feels real great but I'm gonna blow my wad soon and make a mess all over if you keep sucking me," I said.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna swallow it down when you come. I read a magazine article that said swallowing that stuff helps make my breasts grow bigger," she answered.

"Okay, if its gonna make your breasts bigger suck away," I said.

As she sucked ever harder my cock was getting rock hard. It was getting harder and harder to pay attention to my driving. I deicided I better let it go pop before I have an accident.

"Get ready I'm going to explode any second now," I told her.

A few more sucks later and I exploded inside her mouth. As promised she swallowed up every last drop.

"That should put a few more inches on your breasts. Thank you, I really enjoyed that," I said.

"Just hope you got enough left to bop me now," she said smiling.

"Give me about a half hour and we'll find out. You'r sure now that you want to lose that cherry. Its hurts the first time you know." I said.

"I know it hurts the first time, thats why I wan't it to be with someone that doesn't mean anything to me. Anyway I need to lose it. Besides becoming twenty next month, I'm planning on seducing someone and I don't want to seduce this guy as a virgin. So yeah, I'm sure, I'll give you a half hour and then I want you to do me or else I'll tell everyone at the cab company that you're moonlighting as a male strpper" she said.

"Okay then you're on. I'll do you if thats what you really want. I just hope I can make it seem like more fun than going to your dentist or something. In a half hour I'll pull the car over and make you a woman.

9:57 AM - 8/18/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Give The Ladies What They Want (Chapter Two)

 "I can't understand this. You just did me ten minutes ago and I'm feeling super horny again already," I said.

"I'm feeling super horny too. It must be those pills the girls gave me at the Club Wild, she said.

"What did they call the pills," I asked.

"They called them Ecstasy. They gave me four of them. They said take two and give him two and you'll both be horny beyond your wildest dreams," she said.

"Oh Ecstasy, no wonder I'm so horny. I wish you had told me. One pill can make you feel like fucking all day, but two pills, oh shit, I never even heard of anyone taking two pills at once. I'm ready to pull over now and do you if you're up for it," I said.

"Are you sure? You're really ready to do me after only taking a ten minute rest." she said.

"Yeah, I'm sure, thats how Ecstasy works. I can screw the heck out of you all day long if you wan't me to," I said.

"All right lets do it then. Pull over now and do me Leader Of The Pack, I'm ready," she said with a lustful smile.

"Okay, its show time.  I guess this place is as good as any. I'll be as gentle as I can. We'll take it nice and slow.

"So is that all this is to you? I'm just someone to burst you're cherry. No emotion, no feeling, no passion. I don't if I can do this,"I said.

She unbuttoned my shirt and started to bite my chest, but I didn't respond. Now she had my pants undone and she started to stroke my cock, but I still felt nothing.

"Sorry, I just can't do this," I said.

"You're not even going to undress me to see what you're missing," she said.

"No, I'm not. I just don't know how to have meaningless sex," I answered.

I watched as she removed her blouse and skirt. Her very endowed breasts filled a very fashionable bra that looked like it was a Fredericks Of Hollywood. When I glanced down at her bottons I noticed the heart shape deseign covering her pussy.

"You have good taste in lingere, I can see that thats a Fredericks Of Hollywood,"I said.

"It is. How did you know,?" she asked.

"Oh, I love all their lingere, its very striking,"I said.

"And how many women have you slept with that were wearing my lingere? Now I'm wondering if I should do this," she said.

"Oh, I only slept with a few million women wearing you're underwear. Yeah, we better forget about this, I'm just a super bad boy. You don't want me to take your cherry. I might be in such a hurry to get to screw someone else I may only have time to pop half you're cherry. Then you'll still be a half a virgin.You know, I have a busy schedule,"

As her fingers undid her bra I watched as it slid off her tremendous breasts. With a develish smile she looked at me and said, "now tell me you don't have the time to touch them."

I could no longer resist. I always had a weakness for big beautiful breasts. Not only was I touching them now, but I was also twirling my tongue around her giant sized nipples. As my eyes feasted on the site of her bouncing breasts my hands started to wander up her very firm and sexy thighs. Now with my cock rock hard I knew I was ready, but now I had to get her ready.

I gently slid one hand underneath the heart shaped thong that was covering her pussy and touched it gently and slowly. I could feel that her hymen was solidly firm. As I continued to run my hand under her thong I could feel her thighs start to shake with excitement. I knew she was now ready to be deflowered. I pulled her heart shape thong down her thighs and off.

I spread her legs apart and then gently placed her arms back over her head and grasped them. "I'm going to make you a women now," I said as I mounted her.

I could hardly concentrate as I felt her breasts rock wildly below my chest. I kept slipping out of her little opening. I wanted to go slow and to be gentle but her opening was just too small. At last I told her,"this is going to hurt, but just for a few seconds."

"I know that. Just do it. Do it right now. Please now,? she asked.

I gripped her arms and held her down tightly and stuffed myself hard into her. She screamed as her hymen started to break.

"Is that it now? Is it over,? she asked.

"I'm only about half way through. Two or three more pushes and that should be it," I answered.

"Do it then, just do it," she said.

As I pushed harder her hymen continued to break, but I could see that she was in pain so I gave one last super hard push to completly break through. As I plunged deeply inside of her I could feel her hymen completly break at last. I pulled out of her and said "It will never hurt again."

"Come back inside me then, I want to feel what its like without the hurt," she said.

As I entered deep inside her again she smiled and said, "you're right, no more hurt, now it feels wonderful.

"Is that it now? Should I pull myself back out now,?" I asked.

"Oh no. Please don't? It feels so good." she said.

"But I thought that this was supposed to be meaningless. I thought you just wanted me to deflower you. Just perform my little service and be gone," I said.

"No. Please forget what I said before. Oh, its happening, I'm cuming. Don't stop now. Don't you dare stop," she said.

"Okay then, I'll stick around for a while, but I can't stay for two long you know. I've got all those other millions of women that want to sleep with me," I said.

"Yes, yes, oh yes, I'm cuming again," she screamed."

All of a sudden I could feel her vaginal walls tighten around me. It had been a while since I was last with a virgin and I had almost forgotten just how tight their clits could get the first time.

"Why did you stop thrusting,?" she asked.

I stopped because I'm not Superman. If I thrust anymore I'm gonna explode inside you," I answered.

"So you're just gonna let it hang inside me doing nothing." she said.

"Yes, thats the plan for right now at least unless you're ready for me to explode inside you," she said.

"I don't care if you explode inside me. Just start thrusting deep inside me again and let whatever happens happen," she said.

"Okay, but you're pretty fussy about how you have meaningless sex. A few more thrusts and I'm afraid you may even show some emotion," I said.

"Oh yeah thats it. You bringing me to orgasm again. Oh it feels so good, don't ever stop," she said.

As I felt her vaginal walls grip me ever tighter I knew I couldn't hold on much longer. I knew she didn't ever want it to end, but she'd have to realize that all good things have to come to an end at some point.

"I'm cuming, I'm cuming again," she wailed.

"Im cuming with you," I ansewered.

Both of us exhausted now, I held her in my arms with neither one of us talking. We both felt a peaceful loving tranquility and we both fell fast asleep.

9:48 AM - 8/18/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Give The Ladies What They Want (Chapter Three) The Conclusion

 "Wake up, we slept all night," I said shaking her.

"Wow, its morning time. I never slept that sound before. But I so need to bathe. Sorry if I smell all stinky." she said.

"Don't worry my nostrils haven't yet completly awakend, but I'm planning on taking a nice dip in that lake over there right now," I said.

"Good, I'll join you. Lets go," she said.

We peeled off our clothes and waded naked into the lake. But we soon realized that we were not the only ones wading stark naked in the lake. As we heard sounds of splashing in the water we saw a naked couple in the water at the same time that their eyes also came upon our naked bodies.

"Sorry, we would have went to another part of the lake if we knew that you two were here," I yelled over.

The man with the women yelled, "no problem, we don't mind sharing this part of the lake with the two of you."

The woman he was with walked toward me and took a good look at my bod. And I guess I couldn't help but to give her a quick look over also. Of course I tried not to stare but she was really well stacked and was not in the least bit timid about showing off her body to me.

"The more the merrier" she said with a develish smile.

"Hi everyone," my fare cried out from behind the cover of my body.

"Do you two swing,?" the man asked.

"No we don't," I answered.

"Oh too bad," the woman said looking down below my waist with an admiring smile.

Now beoming suddenly emboldened, my fare stepped out from behind me, flaunted her naked body for all to feast their lustful eyes on and laughed.

"He's a male stripper and I've seen him getting groped by several woman at the Club Wild. I think he's a closet swinger," she said with a big smile.

"Not to sound too Clintonesque, but, how do you define swinger,?" I asked.

The woman with the man than pointed to my now full erection and said, "I think thats a pretty good explanation.

"I'm sorry, you're beautiful breasts excited me. Would you be offended if I asked if they were all natural," I asked.

She took my hands in hers and then placed my hands on her breasts and said, "you tell me."

"They're real. And their very beautiful. Thank you," I said.

"Better take him for a swim now and cool his breast-o-meter down a few notches now. See you two later," my fare said to the couple, taking my hand.

"Okay, see you both soon. Were going to sun bath for a while. I'll leave the sun tan lotion next to that giant rock over there in case you two want to sun bath after your swim," the woman said.

"Thank you, thats very thoughtful of you," I replied.

The water was very refreshing. We swam for about a half hour and talked about the other couple and about what we thought swinging was all about. I told my fare that I could understand if she wanted to do it whith another man just to compare a bit after she just lost her virginity.

I explained to her that if you only have an experience with one person you will always wonder if someone else might be better. Its sort of like candy bars I explained. There is not much difference between a Milkyway and a Mars bar, but unless you've tasted them both you would always wonder. After that philosophical discussion of candy bars I was ready for a nice combination of a nap and a sun bathe.

"Oh good, she did leave the sun tan lotion by that rock. Lay down on your stomach and I'll spread the lotion on your back," she said.

"Great, thank you. Let me know when I can do the same for you," I said.

A few seconds after she started to apply the lotion on my back, she suddenly stopped. I could hear footsteps that sounded as if she were walking away. But then I heard footsteps come toward me and I could feel the suntan lotion being applied to my back again.

But this time it felt more like my back was being rubbed down. It felt good and soothing. But when her hands worked their way down my back to my butt, it started to feel erotic.

She kept gently rubbing the lotion on my butt in a very sensual way. I figured I'd just pretend not to notice in case she was trying to arouse me to have sex with her. I just didn't want to end up having sex with her and have the swinging couple walking in on us in the middle of having sex. The body rubb seemed to intensify as her hands moved down to the back of my thighs.

Then I felt her hands tilt my body to its side. As her hands held my thighs from rolling back flat to the ground again I could feel her tongue start to twirl around the helmet of my cock. I still pretended I was sound asleep figuring that she would soon stop, but she didn't.

Then I felt her throw her thigh over mine and slide my cock quickly inside of her. That's when I knew it wasn't my fare. I could feel the difference in experience by how my cock felt inside her.

Then of course I knew that my fare was off somewhere doing the same. I sort of expected that my fare would jump at the first opportunity of having a second experience after losing her virginity, but I didn't expect that I would be having a surprise sexual encounter while I was innocently sun bathing.

But here we were now. I was already inside her. It felt too arkward to reject her. And at the same time I didn't want to give her a sympathy fuck because her man was busy swinging with my fare. But then I figured that no matter what I did, I just really couldn't do anything that would be right.

 So I decided to just make the best of the situation and enjoy the heck out of it and just said "okay,   lets make love.

I ran my hands over her enormous breasts as I thrusted ever deeper inside her. I wasn't into swinging but she had a fantastic body and we were already there. She really knew how to screw. With her thighs in total control I quickly exploded inside of her. But after a few minutes of sucking the nipples of her tremendous breasts, I was ready for more, a lot more.

She seemed to press every turn on button I had. And by the way she was moaning I was sure I had all her buttons turned on too. After about a solid half hour of fucking our brains out, we were at last done. With both our bodies just about on fire we decided to cool down with a swim. After a few minutes in the water my fare and the man swam over to us and all four of us laughed and splashed water playfuly at each other.

At last we dressed and continued on to my fares destination.

"Were here. How much do I owe you for the cab fare,?" she asked.

"Well lets see. I've had the company cab for two days now. The cab averages fares of about one hundred dollars a day, but since I'm sure I'll be fired anyway when I get back to the garage and you were such a great fare, your bill is zero. But I'll take a good bye kiss as a tip," I said.

"Oh, but I was so looking forward to stuffing your tip down your jock strap." she said.

"But I'm not wearing a jock strap. I gave it to the woman at the club. But you know that. And why are you unzippering my pants?" I asked.

"You know how turned on I get by cab drivers without jock straps," she said.

"But here, you want to do it here?," I asked.

"Yes right here unless you can drive to some place private in a hurry," she said.

"Okay, I know just the place, but you know they're really gonna fire me." I said.

"I wouldn't worry about that. My Dad owns the cab company, along with the rail road, the airline, etc., etc. And Daddy always gives me everything I want and I want you because you've go a way about you.she said laughing."

"Well if you put it that way, lets stop off and buy a new pair of jock straps and bill Daddy for it." I said.

"No need to bill him. He also owns that Department Store just down the street. They all know I'm his daughter there so just pick out anything you want. And lets pick out some outfits for that vacation Daddy is going to be giving us to the French Rivera," she said.

"Great. I think I'm gonna like your Daddy," I said.

9:37 AM - 8/18/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

She Taught Me How To Be A Bad Boy (Chapter One)

 Women had always considered me a nice guy. I guess I was comfortable for them to be around. I always went slow and followed their lead. I enjoyed living the relatively uncomplicated life of a lumberjack. But that all changed when I rode my Harley into Vegas for a weekend fling. I had five hundred dollars that I figured I could safely throw away at the poker table without getting hurt. When I hit the five hundred dollar self imposed limit I got up to leave the table.

I was always a sensible sort of guy. I liked to have fun  but I accepted the fact that there were limits. I made a decent salary as a lumberjack but I never had a lot of spare cash that I could just throw away.

As I started to turn away from the table a very pretty looking woman asked, "why are you quitting so soon?"

"I only had five hundred dollars to lose and now its gone," I replied.

"Oh is that all? I know where you can pick up a quick five hundred and get back in the game again," she explained.

"Yeah I know. I could whip out my credit card and get five hundred real quick, but I'm just a lumberjack and five hundred is all I'm letting lady luck fleece me for today," I said.

"No you don't need to tap your credit cards, I've got the money right here," she said.

I watched with both suprise and delight as she unbuttoned the first two buttons of her blouse and pulled out a five hundred dollar bill that was tucked inside her bra. She handed me the five hundred dollar bill and said, "here, take it, its for you , just let me take a few pictures of you and thats it."

"Okay your on," I said with a smile.

She took me up to her hotel room and told me that she was a photographer for a womens magazine and that she thought the women would enjoy looking at photos of a good looking lumberjack.

"Take off your shirt and throw it on the bed,"she instructed.

"Just the shirt,thats all I need to take off?" I aksed.

"For now yeah, but I'll be a little dissapointed if you don't let me see a lot more of you later," she said.

I wasn't sure what she meant by that. She could have meant that she wanted me butt naked for some pictures or she's inviting me to get naked with her after the shoot. I figured I'd play along for now and see where this would all end up. So I took my shirt off and was pleased by the smile on her face.

"Nice muscles, the girls are gonna love you. Could you pull up your undershirt slow and then off. Oh, great abs. Wow, your chest is rippling with muscles. These pictures are gonna be good," she said.

"What do you want me to do now?," I asked.

"Lay across the bed leaning on your hands and lift your body upright on the bed. Let those muscles protrude and look slightly up with a reserved smile. Great, you're a real natural. Now stand up and toss those pants off and turn your back to me," she said.

"You really think the ladies will want to look at pictures of me?" I asked.

"Oh yeah I do and I'm sure they'll love the shots I'm gonna take now. Slowy and teasingly slide your underpants off," she said.

"Do you really need that kind of picture,?" I asked.

"I just want to give the women a little thrill. You're not shy about women seeing your body are you,?" she asked.

"No I'm not shy at all but I just don't know how much of myself I want to share with a magazine. Its not anything pornographic is it,? I timidly asked.

"No nothing like that. I show the body as if its a fine work of art. Just relax and let me turn you into a work of art."

"Okay but you drop my underpants down as your shooting, I'm sure I'll slide the underpants off to fast and ruin your shoots but no frontal shots, okay?" I asked.

"All right just stay still. I'm going to slide your pants and shorts down a bit and take a few pictures," she said.

 As she tugged at my pants and shorts I started to wonder if this was a bad idea. With my pants and shorts now pulled down to my kness I could hear the camera snapping away. With my back to her I couldn't see what kind of expression was on her face. I couldn't help but wonder if the sight of me had her turned on or I was just another photo shoot to her. Then suddenly the camera stoped snaping. I thought maybe she was reloading or something.

"Turn around now toward me and look at my stark naked body  while I snap away", she said.

Her body was fantastic looking. If her goal was to give me an erection it worked. I was quickly rock hard but I could clearly see that my body pleased her.

"I didn't expect that you would want frontal nudity, I'm a little uncofortable about showing this much for a womens magazine," I said.

"Oh don't worry about that, I won't put the frontal nudity shots in the magazine. The frontal shots will be just be for private collections. Now lay back on your back and spread your legs a little and throw your arms back over the pillows. But keep looking at me and keep it hard. We're almost finished," she said.

"Okay, whatever you say, but I still don't understand how I'm worth five hundred dollars," I said.

"You're worth that and a lot more and I could teach you how to be a bad boy and cash in big time on that great bod you have. Now let me take a few shots of you standing up and thats it, unless you want to do a screen test." she said.

"What kind of screen test,?" I asked.

"I may be able to use you in a movie if you can turn me on. I'll give you a thousand dollars if you want to take the screen test right now. Just bang me good and if you really please me I'll put you in a movie."

"A thousand bucks for banging you right now, you're on,"I replied.

"Okay, lets see how good you are. I'm goona lay on the bed and tell you exactly what to do. But no free lancing now. Follow my instructions to the t and earn that thousand dollars and a chance to be in a movie," she said.

"You got it, get ready for one heck of a bang," I said.

"Okay come beside me and put your left thigh over my right thigh and start French kissing my mouth while both your hands gently fondle my breasts. Deep, go deeper with your tongue. Yes, thats it. Now swirl your tongue tight around mine. Thats it, perfect. Now cup my left breast and twirl your tongue around my nipple while your other hand gently rubs up and down between my legs. Yes thats it. You have a wonderful touch. Now do the same with the other breast. Oh, thats fantastic. Now lean over my face and let that big delicious looking lolypop slip into my mouth,"she said.

"The lolypop is gonna go pop if you keep sucking on it like that," I said.

"Okay, you're right, take it out and move your tongue between my legs. Lick me like you're licking an ice cream cone while running both hands up and down my thighs. Yes thats it, but faster, much faster. Yes, oh yes thats it, perfect. Okay now, spread my legs out real wide and enter me. Go as deep inside me as you can once my legs are wrapped around you. Yes, thats it, but harder, much harder. Yes, oh yes, thats it. Oh yeah, I'm cumming already. Oh, you're fantastic,"she said.

"Your'e way to tight, I'm gonna come soon if I don't stop. What should I do?" I asked.

"No don't stop, take my breath away.  I'm still having multiple orgasms, so go ahead and let go whenever you want", she said.

"All right, I just want to make sure you're getting your thousand dollars worth,"I said.

"I got way more than a thousand dollars worth already and I can tell you now that you're good enough to be in the movie. Oh, I'm coming again, I don't how you're holding on so long." she said.

"I can't, I can't hold any longer, I'm gonna explode any second," I said.

"Were both coming together now, perfect timing, yes, yes, oh yes. This is the best sex I've ever had," she said.

"That was good, that was real good. But I was thinking. Can I give you back the five hundred you gave me for taking pictures of me and just keep the thousand for the screen test. I'm not sure if I want naked pictures of myself showing up in a womens magazine," I said.

"Don't worry, you can keep both the five hundred for the pictures and the thousand for the screen test. The camera had no film in it," she said.

"But why would you give me five hundred dollars for pictures that you only pretended to take,? I asked.

"I wanted to check out your bod. If I didn't like what I saw I would have passed on the thousand for the screen test", she said.

"You mean, I just got paid for banging you. Why couldn't you just start up a conversation with me and see where it may have led to,"I asked.

I was horny and I wanted to get banged by you the moment I spotted you at the poker table. One look at your long blond hair and those broad shoulders and that tight ass and I just had to have you. And when I got you to take it all off for my camera you were even beter than I had imagined. I was only gonna give three hundred for the screen test, but when I saw your abs and your rippling muscles I went to a thousand for the screen test just to make sure you couldn't say no", she said.

But your a fantastic looking woman. Why would you want to pay to get it. I just don't get it," I said.

"Some women love getting it by a stud like you but they just don't like all the extras that come with a relationship. I just had great sex with you but when I go home I don't have to have to look at you watching football in my living room. To me it was worth paying for great sex with no strings,"she said.

"If you put it that way, I guess I earned the money. Now excuse me while I head down to my hotel room and take a shower. I'm feeling just a little dirty. Put hey, I'll play bad for you. After a shower I'll be back in the poker game playing with your money. But if you want a little more action later, I may just raise my stud fee a little bit. But now that I see how easy it is to play the bad boy, maybe, just maybe I'll be selling my services to someone else.

 Here, since your camera was empty, I'll throw in my own photo collection to cover what you paid me for pictures you didn't take.

3:52 AM - 8/18/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

She Taught Me How To Be A Bad Boy (Chapter Two)

 After a fresh shower and a couple of stiff drinks I felt like I was ready to get back on my game again. Feeling confident, I got back in the poker game. But my luck with the cards was still dismal. But I noticed that a nice looking woman was giving me a good once over.

She turned to me and said," I'm starved. I've got to put some food in my stomach. Would you care to join me?"

"I'd love to but I'm down to my last twenty," I replied.

"Im in the chips today and I'm buying. Please join me? I hate to dine alone," she said.

"Okay, you talked me into it. Lead the way", I said.

As we were ushered into a private room I asked, what kind of a place is this?"

"They give you some extra privacy in case a couple may want to do a little more than just having a meal but I only come here for the food, and maybe playing footsie just a bit. You don't mind if I play a little footsie with you, do you,? she asked.

"Oh, not at all. What would a meal be like without a little footsie,? I answered.

She wasted no time. Just as soon as the waitor bought a bottle of wine she started playing footsie. As I poured a glass of wine for her I could feel her foot slide up my leg. I took my shoes off and gently slid my feet under her dress. First I just rubbed along her thighs but as I felt her feet go up under my waist I responded in kind by rubbing my feet up between her legs. She was very skilled at playing footsie and I was begining to get excited.

Just as I was about to ask her to slow down a bit the waitor walked in with a basket of bread and took our orders. The waitor let us know that he wouldn't be back with the order for at least a half hour and that we should ring the buzzer if we wanted him for anything before he came back with our meal.

Just as soon as the waitor closed the door behind him she got up and moved her chair along side mine.

"We've got a half hour," she said as she looked deeply into my eyes.

I gently kissed her lips thinking that things wouldn't go much further than a flirtation, but I soon realized that she wanted to go all the way right then and there. In an instant she had all my shirt buttons opened and was already undoing my belt buckle. As I unbottoned her blouse I could feel that one of her hands were already sliding underneath my shorts. I then undid her bra that revealed a beatiful pair of breasts as I throw the bra on the floor.

Now I was totaly naked and wondering if she wanted to do this in the chair, on the table, on the floor or whatever. I pulled down her panties thinking that she might give me a clue but she said nothing. As I ran my hand between her legs I could feel that she was quickly becoming saturated.

Then she said "lay on your back on the floor, I'm ready now.

As I layed back on the floor I could feel her hands firmly grip my thighs as she placed her mouth between my legs. As her tongue quickly twirled around me I felt as if I would soon explode.

But then she got up and said, "were running out of time, is it okay if I get down on all fours for you?"

"Sure, no problem", I said.

By the way she positioned herself on her hands and kness with her rear arched up so perfectly I could tell that this must be her favorite way of doing it and there was still plenty of time left. She had a beautiful looking rear end and I got help but running my hands over it before I gripped it firmly with my hands and slipped inside her clitoris. She moaned as I went deeper inside her. But now it was getting late so I started to thrust faster inside her as she shook and started to moan wildy.

Now I thought I'd better get this done before half the place hears her moans.

She screamed "I'm cumimg, I'm cuming, oh faster, go faster, oh again, I'm cuming again, oh, don't stop, don't stop."

I could see that she was enjoying the heck out of this so I started thinking about my poker playing to get my mind off what was going on as I continued to bang away. I guess that at least a good five minutes or so went by before I remembered again that I had this hot bod beneath me.

"I don't really want this to ever end but theres no more time left. Come with me now," she said.

With that I let go as she moaned ever so loudly.

"That was the best ever. You're good, you're really good," she whispered softly.

After we dressed she took a thousand dollar bill out of her purse and handed it to me.

"Pay for the bill with this when it comes and take another shot at the poker table with the change," she said.

"The bill wont be more than two hundred, I can't take eight hundred off you," I said.

"Promise me you'll take it or I'll strip naked for the waitor," she said.

  "You wouldn't," I quipped.

Quickly removing her blouse and bra she said, "yes I would."

"Okay I'll take it, but please cover those fantastic breasts up before I make love to you right here again," I said.

"Oh you like my breasts. They're all real you know. No silicone. Sometimes I wish they were just a little smaller. They're just to big for me to ever wear a top braless," she said.

"I think they're just the right size," I said.

"Well, if you're in the mood, knock on my door in the morning and maybe we can take a shower together before breakfast, she said.

"Hmmm that sounds refreshing, you're on," I said.

After a nice meal I was ready to take another try at the poker table. I played till the late hours of the morning but it payed off. I had won about twenty thousand dollars. I bought some flowers and rang her bell for a morning shower.

"My favorite kind of flowers," she said with a smile.

"I won twenty grand last night and I want to do the town with you. Get dressed and well take a ride on my harley."

"I thought we were gonna take a shower together," she said.

"Well how bout a lake were we can take a bath together instead?" I asked

"Okay I game, let me throw something on," she said.

As we headed to the lake riding my harley she held me tightly. We got to the lake and throw off all our clothes. Watching her beautiful breasts bounce along the water was an incredible turn on. We started to kiss and before we knew it we were screwing like crazy. Neither one of us could get enough. We srewed three times until we had our fill at last. She was excellent at sex. As it got dark we headed back. Going two days without sleep was starting to take its tool now. I just wanted to get back and get a little sleep.

As I walked her to her door she said, "gets some rest and maybe well go get together again soon."

"You got it, catch you later babe," I said.

3:46 AM - 8/18/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

She Taught Me How To Be A Bad Boy (Chapter Three)

 After a great nights sleep I decided to go for an early morning swim in the hotel pool. I was the only one there so I figured I'd try a high dive off the board. The dive was great and the cool morning chilled water felt invigorating.

As I started to swim I thought about what I should do with my twenty grand windfall from the night before I won playing poker. I wasn't sure if I should head back to Washington State on my harley or have a little more adventure before I went back to my very ordinary lumberjack job.

Just then I heard a woman's voice. Yes was yelling something to me but I couldn't make it out so I swam toward where she was standing. As I got closer I could see that she was waving a bathing suit. I thought that was a bit strange. Then I could hear her voice.

She yelled, "your bathing suit, it came off when you dived off the board, I'm throwing it into the pool for you", she said.

"Thank you, I hadn't realized that it came off," I said.

I slipped the suit back on and climbed out of the pool.

"You have a fantastic looking body, but you should get your chest shaved and have a body wax. That's what I do. I could do you today if you want," she said.

"Thanks, but I'm not a Hollywood type, I'm just a lumberjack," I said.

"You may be just a lumberjack but you have the most fantastic body I have ever seen. But I could make you look even better. First, I need to dye your hair black. With that long blonde hair you look prettier than me. Deep black and long will make you look super masculine. If I shave your chest and do a body wax all your fantastic muscles will be prominent. And I'll show you were to buy some nice tight bikini swim trunks that will give the girls at the pool multible orgasms,"she said.

"Okay, you talked me into it. When can we start?" I asked.

"Right now she replied, come with me, you won't regret it," she said.

She put me in a room and told me to lay down on a table. Then a battery of people were working on my hair and my body. When they were finished all my chest hair was gone and my hair was jet black. I looked in the mirror and my waxed body seemed to shine. Then she walked in and handed me a bikini bathing suit to put on. I slipped it on and felt as if I were wearing nothing. I felt as if I were wearing a string. But when I noticed how her eyes were focused so intently below my naval I thought why not give it a try.

"Wear it at the pool today and see the looks you get," she said.

"Okay, I'll try it, but I'm not sure if I want everyone seeing so much of my body. Thanks for everything. See ya," I said.

That afternoon I took a dip in the pool with my new bikini bathing suit, my new dark hair and my brand new waxed body. From the moment I walked by the pool I was getting smiles and hi there's from almost every women in the place. Now I knew that the body makeover was the way to go. After a few laps around the pool, I decided to lay on a lounge chair for a while. Just then a woman wearing a bikini with her huge breasts bouncing almost out of her bikini top layed down on the lounge chair next to mine.

As she stretched her legs at on the lounge I could help but notice her fantastic looking thighs. Then after a while she started to sit up as I watched her fantastic breasts bounce with the motion of her movement.

"I've seen you in a movie, but I just can't place you. What one was it,? she asked.

"No thanks for the compliment, but I'm just a lumberjack,"I replied.

"I've never seen a lumberjack before. Do they all have muscles like yours,?she asked.

"Thank you, but yes, I guess they all look very much like me," I replied.

I watched her breasts almost pop out of her bikini top as she lent over to touch my stomach.

"Great abs," she mumered with a smile.

As her hands reached up further to feel my chest muscles the sight of her bulging breasts was getting me rock hard. As she glanced below my waist I knew she could clearly see that she was turning me on.

"Its getting hot here. I'm gonna go to my room and get a cold drink. Would you like to come and have a cold drink with me,?" she asked in a sexy voice.

"Yeah it sure is getting hot, sounds great," I answered.

We made small talk for a few minutes as we sat and had the drinks but both of us knew what we were there for. After I put my drink down on the table she placed hers on the table also. Then with one gaze into her eyes our lips touched. As she moved her hands up and down my chest I untied her bikini top and slid it off her tremendous breasts. She had my bikini bathing suit slipped off now but I was still fondling her breasts. They were so fantastic I could have fondled them all day long, but I knew she wanted more.

As she stroked between my legs I ran my hands up her fantastic thighs and then slid off her bikini bottoms. As my tongue started to twirl between her legs her massive thighs started to vibrate wildly. As I entered her I could feel her wrap her legs tightly around my waist. As I thrusted ever so deeper she tightened more and more around me.

  As her thighs began to now vibrate ever so wildly she screamed that she was cuming and I soon followed with a powerful explosion. But I was so turned on I followed that up again soon after. Finaly as our lustful bodies were now steaming like a sauna we showered together and cooled off.

We had been making love for so long that it was now night time. At last I headed back to my room to put some clothes on so we could go out for a bite.

3:38 AM - 8/18/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

She Taught Me How To Be A Bad Boy (Chapter Four) Final Chapter

 "Wake up its afternoon,"she said shaking me.

"What do you want,?" I asked.

"I want you to come to an orgy with me, its my first time and I don't want to be the only one new there," she said.

"I don't need your money any more, I won twenty grand the other night playing poker. So please go away and let me sleep,? I said.

"I'll give you twenty grand if you come with me," she said.

"Okay for twenty grand I'll be your bad boy. Why not? Who do I have to have sex with at the orgy,? I asked.

"I'm not sure. All I know is that everyone that goes for the first time has to submit to being handcuffed to the bed posts", she said.

"Oh thats really great. Some Granny could jump on me and force me to give her a boner while I'm handcuffed," I said.

"No, that couldn't happen. They have an age restriction and they're all nice looking people there," she said.

"Okay, but if end up giving a Granny a boner then I want double," I said.

After having some reservations about women being able to screw me without my consent I decided to do it for the twenty grand, and I was always a little curious about what went on at an orgy. We pulled up to a place that looked like a very big mansion.

We were greated at the door by five very good looking women that were all stark naked. Two of them started to undress me and another one handed me a few pills with some water to take while the other two neatly hung my clothes up for me. Then they did the same to the woman I was with.
"What are these pills for,?" I asked.

"The pills will relax you and make you feel super sexy. You must take them its a requirement," she said.

"I don't know about taking pills," I said.

She ran her hands over my ass and said, "don't make me have to spank you're sexy looking ass."

I downed the pills and said, "I might enjoy that."

The girls then took us upstairs to a large room with two giant sized beds in it and ushered me over to lie down on one of the beds. At the same time they placed the woman I was with on another bed across the room.

I could clearly see that they were handcuffing both of our hands and feet to the bed posts of both beds but the pills had me so relaxed I just went along with it.

Then I watched as the girls left after securing us to the bed posts. Just then I noticed three men and three women enter the room. The three men walked over to her bed across the room and started to fondle her all at once. One man was twirling his tongue around her left nipple while another did her right nipple while still another man ran his tongue between her legs.

Now the three women reached my bed and started to fondle me. One woman rubbed her hands over my chest while another one ran her hands up and down my thighs, while still another started to French kiss my mouth.

I started to get super horny as two of the woman now started to both twirl their tongues around my nipples while the other one started to tongue me between my legs.

I watched as the men on the other bed took turns entering the woman on the bed. Her moans became louder and louder as each man entered her. Then as I was watching one of the women climbed on top of me and plunged me deep inside her. As that was happening another women stuck one of her breasts in my mouth and still another started to bite me all over my neck and chest. As I exploded inside of the woman that was riding me I felt a feeling of euphoria. Within seconds of exploding I was becoming rock hard again. Another women climbed on top of me as I felt a type of hornyness I had never experienced before.

As I again exploded I said, "okay, thats enough now, lets call it a day."

"I didn't do you yet," one of the girls exclaimed.

"Oh I can't. I just can't do any more now," I said.

But as I talked the woman that I hadn't yet entered was busy with her tongue bringing me back to attention while the other two rubbed every sexual button on my body. To my surprise I was rock hard again in a few minutes. I was close to exhaustion but I could feel her slowly entering me into her.

As I watched her thighs move up and down I felt a tremendous arousal but yet I didn't feel like I was going to explode. She seemed to be skilled at keeping the right sort of pace. After several minutes of being inside her I was feeling completly euphoric. They were still banging away on the other bed, but I didn't care any more.

I was enjoying the heck out of this. I wondered why I never had tried three women at once before. Every part of my body was tingling as she rode me to euphoria and the other two stimulated every other part of my body. Then suddenly her thighs started to pound me harder and deeper. As the pace speeded up I let go at last with a fury. As the woman removed the handcuffs I realized that my body was saturated with sweat.

"I need a good shower", I said.

"Come with us and we'll all shower together," one of the woman said.

They took me into a tremendous looking shower and all three of them scrubbed me clean. I went back down stairs to get my clothes and the woman that I had came in with was sitting their waiting for me.

"Was it good for you to,? she asked with a smile.

"Oh yeah, just sorry I took so long in the shower, but I didn't know you were waiting, "I said.

"Damn, hurry up and get those clothes on, I can't look at your naked body unless I'm sure you're gonna bang me,"she said.

"In that guess I'll put my clothes back on real quick like because lady I am all banged out for today and you should be too," I said.

"Yeah, I'm done for the day to unless you want to handcuff me to the bed," she said.

"Come on, lets hop on my harley and get out of here before I change my mind," I said.

"So were are you headed now bad boy,? she asked?

"Well after I drop you off I'm gonna head back to my lumberjack world. I had enough of life in the fast lane for a while.

"Damn, what was in those pills they gave us? I'm feeling super horny again," she said.

Her hands started to slide down below my waist.

"Please stop, I cant drive this harley with you touching me there," I said.

"Could we just pull over and do it some where,? she asked.

"Haven't you had enough sex for one day,?" I asked.

"I can't help it, I guess the pills haven't worn off yet. I need it right now," she said.

"All right, I'm feeling it to now, I'll pull over somewhere in a minute. Just hang on," I said.

I spotted an area off the road that sloaped down out of view of the traffic and drove over. The night air was now freezing but despite that we both threw our clothes off and screwed our brains out for a good solid hour until at last we were satisfied. We dressed and headed back.

"No more pills again ever," I told her.

"No, no more pills for me either," she said.

"Okay its a deal, the next time we screw it will be because we want to and not because a pill makes us I said.

"Deal," she answered back.

3:16 AM - 8/18/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Seduced By A Princess

 Tim tried hard not to stare at her very endowed breasts as she leaned over exposing them to him while pouring  another round. Her tight  pull over top with a plunging V shaped line made her just about look topless, if she leaned over a certain way.

 "Why isn't a handsome guy like you out on the beach with all those topless women,?" she asked.

 "I'm all ready horny enough trying not to cheat on my fiancee and I feel no need to torture myself any further with a beach full of topless woman."

 As he felt her her foot sliding up his legs he asked, "are you always this friendly with every guy you meet?"

 "Only if they look like you Tim," she said while licking her lips seductively."

 "Have you forgotten all about the Prince you're supposed to marry? I thought we were the perfect platonic drinking couple. Both of us engaged and as horny as hell and drowning our ambers with carafes of wine."

 "I know Tim. That plan was okay for the day time. But when night time feel I kept thinking how nice it would feel if your hoy body was wrapped all around mine and warming me from that cold night chill."

 "Well, I'm sure that there must be a few blankets on the island somewhere to keep you warm. Anyway, if you're really all that horny why don't you just prance your hot naked body out on the beach? I'm certain you'd get quite a few I'd like to jump on your bones offers."

 "That's exactly what I'd do Tim if I weren't engaged to the Prince. But I am, and my hot naked body would be in every tabloid around the globe."

 "So, what do you want from me then?"

 "I want to have your baby."

 "What was that Princess?"

 "Yes you heard me right. I want you to impregnate me before I go back to the Prince. He'll just think its his, but it will have your fantastic good looks."

 "I think its tea time for you Princess. No more drinks or am walking out right now."

 "Okay Tim, I'll stop drinking if you'll go boating with me."

 "Your on Princess, I could go for some fresh air."

 The two of them headed down to the boat pier, but while Tim was busy casting the lines off the Princess was busy in the boat cabin mixing the fresh lemonade with an incredible sex stimulant. As Tim pointed the boat out to the open sea, the Princess was now ready to serve up the laced lemonade.

 "I made you some fresh lemonade Tim," she said.

 "Oh so you can do something other than flailing your hot body around. I love lemonade, that's my achilles heel. I'll do almost anything for good lemonade and this is really good I lost my virginity to lemonade."

 Tim gulped the whole glass down and asked for a second glass.

"Are you sure you can handle two glasses," she asked.

 "I'm a big boy now Princess, I think I can handle it," he said laughing.

 As Tim finished gulping  the second glass down a little water started to spray his shirt.

 "Better give me that shirt before the salt water ruins it," she said.

 Handing her the shirt, he said, "thank you, that's one of my more colorful shirts."

 'So just how did you lose your virginity to lemonade Tim?"

 "I was a high school kid doing some lawn work to make a few extra dollars and it was a sweltering steamy day. My shirt was getting saturated with sweat so I took it off and then my only clothing was a skimpy pair of cut off shorts. The girl from the house next door noticed me and said, "oh you're so muscular, do you think you could carry my new TV up to my bedroom."

 So as I carried it up she followed behind me with an ice cold pitcher of lemonade. But as she went to pour it her hand slipped and the lemonade went all over my shorts. As she rubed my shorts to get the lemonade stain out she could feel that she was getting me excited and then suddenly she starting kissing me and then I was no longer a virgin.

 "Oh, I wish you told me that story earlier Tim. Then I just would have dumped the lemonade and your pants and skiped the boat ride," she said laughing."

 As the surf subsided Tim said, "its calm enough to drop the anchor and do a little fishing"

 "Fishing! thats what you want to do out here," she exclaimed.

 "Isn't that why we came out here?" he asked.

 "Oh yeah, sure, thats fine. I just didn't know if you were into fishing," she said.

 "I'm into fishing and that great lemonade you made. May I have another glass,? he asked.

 "Oh, yes you may" she said smiling seductively."

 After Tim gulped down, his now third glass of laced lemonade she said, "let me put some sun loation on your back while your fishing. You don't want that great looking bod of yours to be charcoal broiled."

 As her hands dug into his back with the lotion he said, "you have a nice touch babe."

 "Did you just call me babe?," she said in her most seductive voice.

 "Oh, I guess I just did a Freudian slip," he said laughing.

 She said, "its okay sweety pie," as her suntan lotion soaked fingers now moved to his chest.

 "You have the sexiest abs I've ever seen," she said as  her hands pressed firmly on his muscles.

 As her hands moved up his chest and lingered on his nipples, he said, you're not trying to get me excited are you?"

 "No swetty pie, if I were trying to seduce you I'd be giving you something a lot stronger than lemonade. Any way, I'm all finished now protecting your hot bod from the sun. But you could be a doll and do me now."

 "Sure babe, no problem. I'll be more than glad to do you."

 "You called me babe again swettie pie. What's got into you"?

 "Why are you taking all your clothes off Princess?"

 "You said you'd put the suntan lotion on me and I want to get an even tan."

 "Well, okay, lay on your stomach and I'll do your back at least."

 "Oh, that feels so good Tim, you have a magic touch with your hands."

 "Oh, thanks, well, that should do it now."

 "Pretty please, could you do my butt and thighs Tim?

 'Oh, okay, why not."

 "Can you press just a little harder Tim?"

 "Okay, but I don't know if I can do this much longer."

 "All right Tim, I'll turn over so you can finish me."

 "Are you sure you want the lotion there too?"

 "Yeah, I'm sure Tim and make sure you put a lot of lotion on my breasts."

 "Okay, whatever you say. Wow, are these breasts all you."

 "Yes there all mine Tim and just feel how firm they are."

 "I always liked nice breasts. Your nipples are beautiful to. I really have an urge to, well never mind. Let me do your legs and call it a day."

 "Why don't you take your pants of Tim and then we can both get an even tan and I'll even spread the lotion on your butt for you."

 "All right, why not?

 'Oh, I love your butt Tim. It's the nicest one I've ever seen. Turn over now and I'll do your thighs.

 "Sounds good babe."

 "You just called me babe again Tim.

 "Oh, I did, I think I'm getting a little confused today."

 "Oh, what should  we ever do about this big lump you developed Tim?"

 "Did you want to do something about it?"

 "Only if you want me to Tim."

 "All right, all right, I want you to."

 "Okay, Tim, climb aboard the lump reducer train."

 "Good, and could I have another lemonade afterward?

 "Oh yes Tim, you can have all the lemonade you want."

8:55 PM - 8/17/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Two Sex Starved Women And A Sailor

 Janet watched from her window as she noticed a handsome hunk walk by  with a sexy sailor swager. Something about him was familiar. But yet he was dressed like a California surfer. His eyes were as blue as the ocean and his golden blonde silky hair highlighted his golden suntan. But it was early Spring and Janet thought, "no he can't be from New York with a tan like that in the early Spring."

 Just then she noticed him shaking hands with the guys that were getting ready to play basketball.  They always played shirts and skins on the local streets. She nearly feel out of her window as he threw off his shirt that revealed a muscular and perfectly toned body. She thought, "the walk, the looks. the body. Who could this be?

 As she watched him play her hand slipped under her skirt and touched her female flower till it became completly saturated. She thought, "I would give anything to have him in my bed with me right now right this minute. Oh, how I need a real lover. I've just got to dump my wham bam thank you mam boy friend. Oh how I'd like to wrap my legs around his tight ass."

 Now totaly turned on Janet closed the blinds and removed all her clothes. Laying on her bed she spread her legs out wide and imagined what it might be like if her handsome hunk was in bed with her. But her fantasy was interrupted when her room mate Monica came barging in on her.

 "I've been waiting at the diner for you for over a half an hour. Did you forget that we were meeting there for lunch today. And why are you laying on the bed naked with the blinds closed in the middle of the afternon,? Monica asked.

 "Oh, sorry I forgot Monica. Just take a peak through the blinds at that handsome hunk playing basketball and you'll see why I just forgot about everything."

 "Oh I see Janet. He's some stud muffin. Oh, that body, that hair, oh I want some of that."

 As Monica peaked through the blinds her hands slipped up her blouse and undid her bra. As her bra slid of she started to touch her breasts. Monica thought to herself, "oh my boy friend makes love like a cold mackrel, oh what I'd give to make it with that hot stud."

 Janet watched with surprise as Monica removed her panties and walked toward the bed. "What are you doing Monica,?" Janet asked.

 "Are you as horny as I am right now,?" Monica asked.

 "Yeah I am Monica, But what can either one of us do about it. Both are boyfriends are sexual duds and stud muffin is out there playing basketball while were like two cats in heat."

 Monica then gently touched Janets lips with one of  her fingers and said, "don't talk. don't say anything.

 Were going to do something about this right now."

 Janet watched with surprise as Monica cupped one of her breasts twirling her tongue around her nipple.

 Janet thought to herself, "this is crazy, neither one of us are lesbians, but she has me very aroused and I like what she's doing."

  As Monicas fingers ventured up Janets thighs their lips met and they started to deep French kiss each other. Now Janets hand slipped down below Monicas waist and felt her total saturation.

 Suddenly the door opened and a shirtless, totaly, saturated, in sweat, blond haired, blue eyed, muscular hunk, stood before them.

 "Oh, I'm so sorry, "Dave gave me the key so I could take a shower. He said the girls are at the diner having lunch and no one would be here. I had just checked out of my hotel and I told the guys that I couldn't play basketball with them unless I showered afterwards because I had to catch a plane back to the coast in a few hours, and I didn't want to be a pool of sweat on the plane ride. My name is John and again my apologies," John said.

 "I guess you think were lesbians John. But were not, and its all your fault that were in bed together," Janet said.

"Well sorry again girls, and if there is anything I can do to make this right, just ask and its yours," John said.

 "Yeah John, there is something you can do for us, We have an urge to give you that shower," Monica said.

 "Your kidding right," John said with a nervous smile."

 "No John, Monica never kids when it comes to showers," Janet said.

 John stepped back a bit as Monica placed her hand on his belt, but as he took another step back he walked right into Janets waiting arms and ran out of steps to take as Monica unbuckled his belt as Janet undid his zipper and slid his pants down.

 As John watched in suprise at the site of his pants being pulled off he said, "but your boy friends are my buddies. I don't think they'd be to happy about me taking a shower with their girl friends."

 Hey John, "what are friends for if you can't take a shower with their girl friends,?" Monica asked.

 As Janet slipped off Johns jock strap and coped a feel of his ass with one hand and his member with the other hand John asked, "but what if they find out we all took a shower together?"

 Monica smiled as she looked at Johns now stark naked body and said  "we wont ever mention the shower or the wild sex."

"What wild sex,?" John asked with alarm

.

 "You'll find out after the shower," Janet said with a smile.

 "I can't do an all nighter. I have to catch a plane in a few hours so I can catch my ship on the coast that will be deploying over seas the next day," John said.

 "Don't worry sailor, this will just be short time sex," Monica said with a grin

.

 Here's the shower plan sailor. After we both soap you up then you soap us up one at a time and I'm first," Janet said with a smile.

 Janet soaped up his chest as Janet did his back As their hands meet around his waist they both became pleased at the rock hard erection they caused. Then it was Johns turn. Monica looked on with excitement as John soaped up Janets breasts causing her nipples to quickly harden.

 It soon became obvious the sexy sailor was quite experienced at pleasurung women and he knew exactly where all the hot zones were on their bodies. Now it was Monicas turn and the sailors skillfull touch soaped up her g spot that bought her to an instant orgasm.  After toweling eachother dry they all walked into the bedroom.

 "Okay, thank you ladies for a most envigorating shower, but now I think I should go," John said.

 "Not so fast John, we haven't had our wild sex yet," Janet said ushering him onto the bed as Monica guided him into position. Now just lay back on the bed and leave the driving to us," Monica instructed as she removed the bath towel from around his waste.

 As Monica proped Johns head on the pillows, Janet started to spread out Johns legs on the bed as John asked, "what's gonna happen now."

 Monica amswered, "were gonna make you very happy and then you're gonna make us very happy " and started to rub her hands up and down his thighs. And then Janet walked over and did the same.

 Then Janet asked Monica, "would you like to share a lolipop with me?"

 "Id love to," Monica answered.

 To Johns pleasant surprise both Monica and Janet were running their tongues between his legs simultaniously

 " How does that feel John,?" Janet asked

 "Oh it feels great, but we should stop. This really isn't right. We should quit now before this goes too far. John said.

 But Johns pleas proved  futile as Janet climbed on top of him and rode him like a wild bronco as Monica plunged her tongue at the same time deep into his mouth. After giving John a short rest Janet smiled at Monica and said "your turn to play with the joy stick now."

 "Well sailor, you took care of all our urges and when will you be back in town again,? Janet asked.
Johns answered, "oh don't worry I'll be sure to call the both of you the very minute I'm back in town.

11:54 AM - 8/16/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Trophy Strip Poker

 "Wake up Cathy. Two great looking guys just boarded the train," Sue said.

 "Oh, okay Sue, I wouldn't mind seeing them naked." Cathy sighed.

"How bout them seeing us stark naked Cathy. That's what will hapen if we lose. Can you deal with that?"

 "I don't know Sue, but I really want to get into that sororiety and if getting their underpants from them will do it then that's what we will have to do."

 "Why don't we just go out to a store and buy two pairs of mens underpants Cathy?"

 We can't Sue, we pledged on our honor that we would win our trophy mens underpants by playing strip poker.

 "But what if they don't want to give us their underpants Cathy?"

"That wont happen Sue because were just going to tell them right up front that if they win they see us naked and get to keep our panties and if we win we get to see them naked and keep their underpants."

 "But how many guys would go for that Cathy.?"

 "Are you kidding Sue. At least 99.9 percent of the male population in America."

 "Okay than Cathy, lets do it before they get off the train."

 While Cathy and Sue were deciding on what to say to the guys, the girls had caught their eyes.

 "Look at that foxy looking blonde Jim, I'd love to get in her pants," Bob exclaimed.

 'I dig the one with the tight blouse that's saying let my breasts out of of this tight top."

 "Yeah Bob, she's got great breasts, but look at that pair of great legs the blonde has."

 "Hey Jim. were gonna be stuck on this train for two whole days, so why don't we make a move now and invite them into our compartment for a drink before anyone else has a chance to make a move on them

 "I'm game Bob, lets go for it, but just remember hands off my blonde.

 "Sure and your hands of the busty one Jim."

 "Look Bob, their getting up and walking over this way. Okay, be cool now and don't blow this."

 "Hi, would you guys like to play poker with us."

 "Hi, I'm Bob, what kind of Poker are you talking about."

 "Hi Bob, I'm Cathy and were willing to play any kind of Poker you want."

 "Hi Cathy I'm Jim , I'd love to play Poker with you, but the only kind of Poker I know how to play is Strip Poker. but I'm sure you girls don't want to play that."

 "Hi Bob and Jim, I'm Sue and Strip Poker is also the only kind of Poker I know how to play, but if you guys are shy about nudity we can find someone else to play with."

 "Oh no. don't look for anyone else, we'd love to see you naked, I mean we'd love to play with you" Bob said.

 "Oh, a little Freudian slip there Bob. Well if you want to have a chance at seeing me naked you have to forfiet your underpants to me if you lose," Cathy said with a grin.

 "Oh I love women that are kinky, but I'm gonna do my darndest to win your panties Cathy."

 'Okay guys, then let the games begin," Sue said.

 "All right, your on girls and we just happen to have a bottle of Jack Daniles in our compartment in case anyone needs some naked courage," Jim said.

 After a few drinks and a lot of laughs they were all out of coats and sweaters and shoes and socks to lose to the draw of the cards. Now the draws were for serious clothing.

 "Look girls, we can stop now if you want" Bob exclaimed.

 "Pour us another glass of Jack Daniels and draw the cards Bob," Cathy asked.

 Cathy took a big gulp of her drink as she drew a low card that would cost her the blouse she was wearing. As she started to unbotton it Jim said, "its really okay if you want to keep it on."

 "No, I lost it fair and square and I'm still determined to get your undrpants off you Bob.

 And as Bob drew the next card she was now just one step away from getting his underpants as his low card draw lost him his shirt. The next draw was Sue and she quickly pulled her tight top off as soon as she knew she lost the draw. Bob and Jim couldn't help but glance now at both of the girls breasts that were now only contained in their bras.

 On the next draw Jim lost his shirt to a low card draw and now the moment of truth was here. Someone had to lose either their bra or their underpants on the next draw because that was all that there was left to lose.

 "Why don't we have another drink now and quit," Bob said with a tiring yawn.

 "No quitting Jim, we want your underpants, draw the card" Sue demanded.

 Jim drew the card and  stared at it and then glanced at Sues lovely breasts that were juggling around in her bra and then turned the card over so no one could see it and calmly slid his underpants off and handed them to Sue. As Sues eyes feasted on the site of Jims throbbing erection Cathy turned the card over to look at it. She then showed the card to Sue and said. "Jim really had the winning card, not you Sue."

 With that Sue unhooked her bra and looked at Jim and said, "thank you for being so nice," as she let it slide slowly off her breasts.

 Sue then drew another card and almost glowed as the low card cost her the panties that had covered her last bit of modesty. She then handed the cards over to Cathy who drew a low card that caused her to remove her bra. Bob drew the next low card that cost him his underpants, but as Bob slid off his underpants, Cathy quiclkly slid her panties off without even drawing a card. Now all four of them, who were complete strangers just a  few short hours ago were all naked and happy about it. The girls who had headed out to get their trophy mens underpants as part of a sorority initiation had found another kind of a trophy. A trophy that they could always treasure and love.

11:34 AM - 8/16/2005 - comments {0} - post comment