Well what a night l have had, at work there was a arguement between a resident and a staff member which just keep going on and on and on.  I ended up saying will this just stop now please.

Just had G around which was ok, l had a cry about how l am missing my brother so much and how l am feeling guilty about missing him and not going to see his site where he died in awhile. I havent been doing much in the way of eating properly at all, today l would have eaten well in excess of my points.

Then as for exercise, l havent gone out of the house to do exercise, but have been doing well over 6000 steps a day which constitutes as weight.

My house work well that has dropped as well, l havent done any work as l have been so tired from working all day that when l come home l just want to blob which is such the wrong thing to do.

I need to improve myself or l will go back to bad ways, and that isnt what l want, l dont even like the fact that at the moment l am in a low patch with only 13 days till my brother has been dead 3 years.  Im missing him like crazy and feel so much guilt in myself for not missing him etc.  Im sure Logan (My brother) came in my dream last night, l had this dream that he put a message on a wall for me and it said something along the lines of "I love you and are missing you and your smile" something like that but then l think did that happen.