The winds in the cottage where I live in were warm with a delightful scent and crisp that fills the air. My long dark hair moved with the wavelength of the winds restlessly and with my amber eyes looking at the scenario that unfolds before me, I tried to contemplate all the things that had happened to me for the last four centuries. I had not slept just as usual and the bitter aftertaste of my favorite cherries often cause my dismay. And now even as I stare across the orange sky, I begin to wonder why night never comes. My thoughts are randomly scattered like pollens, resting in one place then flying to another.

I did not bother with wishful thinking anymore. I was accustomed and was too exhausted to protest. I carefully removed my clothes and put on my white kimono. I dipped myself, my whole body calm in the cold, wide water. I closed my eyes for another moment or so and then heard my grandmother's voice from the cottage.

"Ai," she said in her usual cheerful tone. "You have an e-mail."

I sighed. There is always a sadness that never vanishes, a grief, they said, that can't be spoken.

The cottage was an old-fashioned Japanese structure. The doors are sliding and the floor is made of wood. It was like four centuries ago and my heart, no longer whole, still breaks by the lost memory I keep safely. My room, if you will call it that, is wide vacant space and only the computer in the far corner, gathering dust, is the only thing there is. Besides the computer are three straw dolls.

I went inside the cottage and looked at the computer screen. The monitor was blinking with a red background. The sign of my contract appeared before me. I sighed again.

I took the three dolls. I whispered their names and they transformed into their human forms. The first one is Wanyuundo, an old man who served me for two centuries, then Onde-Ona, a geisha woman who served me for ninety-five years and then there was Ren, the youngest, who was only around me for twenty-five years. They smiled and greeted me. I nodded and we went pass the formalities. I looked back at the monitor, touched it and there I was again.

The places where people would constantly summon me are always in their own rooms. Each room is different like each individual who calls for my services is different. But the atmosphere is the same; there was stillness, a sad silence, an anger that's been dying to break out. The people who call me desire only one thing. And for four hundred years I have been fullfilling them dutifully without any complaints.

The person before me was young but aren't they all? When I look at them, it was the same misery spread before me and it would take time for them to realize how hatred can turn them into ashes. And when the time did come it would be too late to go back. But I have warned them. And the choice is always up to them. Although when time passes in each blooming of the flowers, I think about them and the candles where their names are written. I watched silently when the wax vaporizes and incinerates in the cold, hard wood beneath it.

"I am Ai Enma," I told him.

He was surprised, relieved, hesistant just like they all are. The faces start to blurry if you meet them all the time.

"This is for you," I offered him Wanyuundo as the straw doll. "If you truly wish to eliminate the person tormenting you. You must untie the string. If you pull the string, you will enter into an official contract with me. And the person you seek to take revenge on, will immediately be taken to hell."

He took it from me and stared. I know what is going on in his mind.

"However, if I deliver your vengeance. You must in return, make an equal payment to me."

He looked up, bewildered. How come they never know the consequences? How come they don't know that in order to gain, there must be a prize. He was lucky that I have warned him. I was not warned four hundred years ago and so I carry the symbol of my sins even until now.

"When one person is cursed, two graves are dug," I said. "And when your body dies, your soul will go to hell. You will wander forever. Your soul will undergo eternal pain and suffering. You will never know what paradise is like."

The change in his manner and expression did not surprise me. I just looked at him and went away when I have explained the conditions. I whispered to him in the solace of the night.

"And now it's up to you to decide what happens next..."

My duty is not yet done. I have to go back to the cottage and wait for him to make up his mind to know if I will grant his request or not.

"Ai, don't be sad," my grandmother called out, "Things will not always work out in your best interest."

"Yes." I answered.

Onde-Ona sat beside me. Ren stood behind us and in silence, we could only watch the the orange sky. I picked up a cherry from the bowl and looked at it.

"Do you want us to watch him for a while?" It was Ren who had spoken.

"Miss?" Onde-Ona added.

I nodded and asked them to go. As soon as they left, I placed the cherry inside my mouth. The taste was usual as always but in the randomness of my four-hundred year sentence, I consider it as my only paradise.