I simply can't get enough of this song...
"Just take away the words I say, 'cause I know that you don't feel the same. Just go and say what's in your head and I won't try to stop you."
Some things never change... :)) |
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i just read all the other comments/posts of my other blog friends and i'm really touched. so guys, i thank you for taking time to read and comment about my entries.. i feel that i am not alone in dealing with these stuff... yay!! big hugs to you people..
for now, i am really really envious about my friend, frances.. she has the 2008 arashi calendar!! haha.. but it's okay.. it's only a matter of time till i get my own..;) frances and i usually bond over our favorite japanese boyband... ARASHI!! haha..
gotta run.. over and out!! haha
be back in a couple of days! |
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nakakatuwa naman. mag isa ako sa room namin pero di ko naramdaman yun. siguro kasi buong gabi at madaling araw kaming nagbonding ni casey. nawala yung antok ko kasi pinapanuod sakin nung bruhang yun ang live action ng honey and clover at ako'y naadik. pinagpaliban ko nanaman ang paggagawa ng math problems ko... sabi nga nung friend kong korean na madalas pinapadugo ang ilong ko kakaenglish niya, "study and take the test even if it's hopeless". words of wisdom, man! haha... nakakatamad din kasi.. pero sa tuwing naiisip ko yung efforts nila steph, tei, marc, ryan, pao, and sammy para tulungan ako, nakokonsensya naman ako kung di ko sasagutan. kung love nila ako, mas love ko sila! haha... natouch ako sobra kahapon, super tinutukan ako ni tei ng pagtuturo.. alam ko hirap na siya mag english, napipikon na siya sa pang aasar ko, at bumababa na ang patience meter niya, di parin siya sumuko.. si steph din, sobra.. pinagsagot niya ako at bilang reward, 10 cd's na puro arashi lang ang laman.. positive reinforcement daw.. hihi... si marc at ryan, di tumitigil ng pageencourage and pagtuturo kahit busy pa sila, si sammy din.. at si pao na walang sawang nang aasar para manatili akong gising at di ko tulugan ang math... lahat sila determined na mahalin ko din ang math..
so yun.. nagsasagot ako ngayon, trade kami ng laptop ni casey kasi mas mabilis daw yung laptop ko at kailangan na niya tapusin yung ginagawa niya... kawawang bata, CCS kasi.. haha.. she's my senpai, two years ahead of me pero mukha pa siyang mas bata sakin. mahilig din siya sa mga hapon kaya kami nagkakasundo. dahil nakalimutan namin magdinner, nagpadeliver kami sa mcdo.. tagal tagal namin naghihintay ng makakapagsabi ng number ng mcdo para makapagpadeliver kasi sarado na yung dito sa taft, tapos tv lang pala makakapagsabi.. yung commercial ng mcdo... haha.. dial 8mcdo!! na-solve ang problema ng gutom..
miss ko na sina mitchie, mitch, at jenny... ang aking dorm barkada.. di ako sanay na di mag hang out sa room nila.. at kulang ang araw naming apat kung di kami sabay sabay magdinner... miss ko nadin si marielle... isa sa aking mga quarterpounder buddies dito sa dorm... lalo na si karen!! miss na miss ko na yun kahit magkatabi lang ang kama namin.. kasi palagi kaming knocked out paguwi kaya di nadin kami nakakapagusap.. why do i feel so nostalgic? palibhasa magsasummer na at kahit maikli nanaman ang bakasyon, it just feels so..... long. ang drama. eh ilang taon ko pa naman silang makakasama.. for the mean time, manunuod nalang uli ako ng asia tour concert ng arashi... ang aking pinakamamahal na banda.. hihi.. shet. antok na ko pero dahil duwag ako, di nalang ako matutulog.. haha. |
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Kapag di kayang ubusin, wag na magmayabang na kaya mo kainin lahat. SCENARIO: tropical hut, poverty mode.
ako: ano orderin mo? siya: uhh... isang 1pc chicken tapos yung number 19 ako: kaya mo ba namang ubusin yun ha? siya: oo naman.
umupo na. kumakain.
siya: di ko na kaya... gusto mo? ako: yan kaseeeee.. yabang yabang.. magtatakaw daw.. di pala kaya... siya: di kasi ako ikaw.. ako: at ako pa matakaw? siya: hindi.. masiba ka eh ako: t*m* hahaha.. baboy ka siya: mas mataba ka saking hayop ka ako: ubusin mo yan.
inabot kami ng alas nuebe sa tropical bago niya naubos. para siyang batang paslit na pahirapan kumain..
ako: maglactum ka kaya para 100+ nourished kid... at magana ka kumain siya: ay! nagpapatawa ka pala.. ang korni kasi eh.. ako: shit ka siya: shit happens ako: ano? labo siya: ikaw ako: bahala ka na nga uwi na ko siya: waaaaaaaaaa... ako: babay.. siya: ge na ge na uwi naaaaaa
naglalakad.. baliktad... siya pa nakakapit sakin pagtawid... WTF
la lng... nakakatawa lang |
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Sadyang napapa-aray ako sa mga nangyayari. Bakit sila naninigarilyo?!!? *ahuhuhu* Mahal ko ang Arashi pero di ko mahal ang fact na they smoke!!!! *goddamnit!*
Oh well papel. Haha. Ang aking Ninong ay tinamaan ng kabaitan (or better yet, nakonsensya) sa ilang taon na utang niya sakin na walang papasko at pabirthday at pavalentines at pa-labor day etc. Nagtatrabaho kasi siya ngayon sa Japan and he is currently asawa-less and anak-less so ngayon na nagkaron ulit kami ng communication, gusto ko din mabawi ang times na hindi kami naging close. Fan kasi siya nitong isang band from Japan named L'arc-en-Ciel kaya nagkaron kami ng rapport at nagdecide magbonding... Sabi niya, regalo na niya sakin ang complete DVD set ng Asia Tour ng Arashi (punyemers, Asia Tour na hindi pinuntahan ang Pinas.. aray... kasalanan ito ng mga anumalya sa gobyerno!)... I was glad to hear that pero nais ko sanang ticket nalang papuntang Japan ang ihandog niya sa akin...nang hindi lang DVD ang makulimbat ko.. pati narin mismong isang miyembro nila... (ilusyonada).. hehehe.. Lechugas kakapagod magtagalog...
Moving on....Nagtatry ako makapasok dun sa facebook echos na yun gawa kasi ni Mitchie... inimpluwensiyahan ako.. eh tutal bored ako at hindi na maka-cope sa trigbio, pagbigyan ang kahilingan ng puso... hahahaha
Wala din akong napala.. tinamad ako sa registration echos. hihihi... tamad!
Naglaro kami kanina sa Timezone... air hockey-talo ako... basketball-talo padin ako... Tekken5-di na ko lumaro... kakahiya na... hahahaha...
Last day ng CWTS kanina.. nung una I was just eager to leave the place and I felt so glad it's all over... pero ngayon, narealize ko na I can never go back there again to see all the people and to remain updated with their lives for two reasons: time constraints and the fact that I do not know how to get there without the school jeeps taking us there... kasi naman, mas masarap matulog sa biyahe kaysa magpaka-familiar sa daan... ayun. I realized na I'm going to miss the people there... Sigh.
Tama na siguro ito. hahaha. *emote* |
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Oo na.. ang sama ko na. Pero hindi eh, naiinis talaga ako. NAIINIS AKO SA MALALANDING LALAKI. Alam mo yung tipong kailangan ka pang hawakan echos echos para lang magtanong?! Naiirita ako. Oo na maybe it's just because the guy's being nice by being affectionate pero... paano kung hindi naman kayo close? At may girlfriend siya? At ang pangit pa niya? Ang feeling! Grabe, inis na inis talaga kami ni Kimmy sa kanya... feeling gwapo na feeling close pa... WTF. Ang landi landi niya! Kung disturbing na ang malalnding babae, what more kung lalaki yung malandi?! Bwisit talaga. Tapos kanina, sasama pa dapat sa McDo, buti nakaramdam... biglang pinapauwi na daw siya... nakahinga kami ng maluwag ni Kimmy... putakte talaga siya! Kasama ko pa siya bukas sa alternative class... no choice, kabarkada niya mga friends ko na kasama ko bukas. Oh well papel.
Ayoko talaga ng mga lalaking uber affectionate lalo na in public. Siguro kasi pinalaki akong ganon... hahaha.. but still, kung anti PDPI nga ako, yun pa kayang ikaw yung nilalandi.. bwisit talaga siya... tang ina... gulpihin ko siya eh... arrrrgggghhh... |
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I am officially feeling better today.
Yesterday was crap. This bitchy so-called friend of mine just had to bitch about every single thing and right then and there I was silently wishing for a lightning bolt to hit her square in the face...then I'd be laughing my ass off. I know it's mean but, she deserves it. She deserves to die every once in a while... she's not all better the way she thinks she is... she should meet suicidal maniac and I think they'd end up getting married and getting killed by a drunk policeman. *now I don't know why I said that* Moving on... today was a good day. For one thing, Ms. Lupague did not show the grades for the last quiz... *Yeeeeessssss!!!* then my anxiety would have to level up until she decides to shove it in my face that I failed once again. Oh well, papel. It's like, c'mon mamon!! What's the matter, peanut butter? *don't you just love those lines...  * and another thing... I met someone.... hihihi. *giggles like a psychotic little schoolgirl who has her first crush* He was my friend Asha's cousin... and gaawwwwd was he cute.... adorable... he reminded me of my dear Aiba Masaki... *looooooooooove* he was perky but a good listener, the way I like it.... he speaks English though he's Korean... which is good.. seeing as there would be no other means for us to comprehend each other if he doesn't know how to speak in English... *laughs* moving on..... he might be one of the best candidates for a crush but the catch is... HE HAS AN EFFIN' GIRLFRIEND. And even before he said so, he asked if I had a boyfriend!! PARENTAL ADVISORY: HUWAG MAGPADALA SA KALANDIAN.... I felt my friend Sammy burning a hole through the back of my head with his ever-annoying stare which says THERE YOU HAVE IT, RIGHT IN YOUR FACE... PINAHAMAK KA NANAMAN NG KALANDIAN MO... sigh. I love you Sammy, but.... I don't love the fact that your instincts are more accurate than mine, most of the time. Dom and I were chatting in tagalog so he wouldn't understand, contemplating on his cute-ness... but then.. now... I don't feel like having a crush on him... *laughs* and he was telling me how young I am!!! Is it a sin to be below the legal age?! Is it a sin to be spending my last year as a kid trying to... be not so much of a kid?!?!?!?? Is it a sin I look quite old!?! I'm sorry, it's STRESS. Oh and by the way, his name is Patrick. hehehehehehe. So... at the end of the day, I was still going back to the arms of my lovable Aiba-chan... *okaaaay.. fine... I'd be fangirl-ing over him for the rest of my life!!!! * oh for the love of.... here's my Aiba.. my adorable Aiba....  seeeeeeee..... he deserves my loooove!!! <333Best: thanks for the comment.. and yeah... I'm kinda glad that it is an evident fact that I'm not the only one suffering from a lot of hassles... I hug you tight!! Tootsie: thanks for the comment... and thanks for being gay for me though you really are not.... I appreciate it.. you really are my brother.... I hug you too... Virtual hugs for everyone.... |
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MAY KARAPATAN AKONG MA-BAD TRIP.
Kasi naman... una, patay na si lola celing. Oo hindi man kami kasing close na parang closeness namin ni inay but still... nakakalungkot kasi nung pasko ni hindi manlang ako sumama pumunta sa kanila and yung katwiran ko is tinatamad akong magbiyahe and sabi ko there's always next year.. eh pano ba to, wala nang lola celing next year... nababadtrip ako sa sarili ko. Pangalawa. Nababadtrip ako sa mga so-called friends ko. Palibhasa ba sa ibang tao ako sumama nung University Fair, iiwasan na 'ko? I'm not ditching them. Sila nga eh, hindi na nila ako iniinform kapag may lakad or something. Sumama ako kina Marielle kasi hindi naman sila nagsabi na pupunta sila. Hindi ako mind reader. Masyado sila mag-expect from the people around them. O isa pa yung kagabi naman, group work via YM... nag log out na ko kasi alangan namang pigilan ko ang pagsasara ng internet cafe. Ok daw dahil tapos narin naman. Aba after fifteen minutes, past eleven na, pinagoonline ako ulit. Maghanap daw ako ng ibang cafe. Ang akin lang, FUCK YOU!!! Disoras na ng gabi, babae ako... papalakarin mo ako sa kahabaan ng Taft Ave. para lang humanap ng cafe?! Tang ina mo pare, hayop kang bakla ka! At manghiram nalang daw ako ng PC sa dorm mate... Pucha, hindi ka ba tumitingin sa orasan?~ anong gusto mo, mang gising ako ng mga tao?! Tinatawagan ayaw sumagot... Nakakatanga... bullshit. Well anyway. At least natapos na ang mga kailngang gawin. Pero isa silang malaking badtrip. Pangatlo, sa mga prof. Feeling nila kasing galing nila ang mga estudyante nila. Enough said. Pang-apat, naiirita na ko sa mga tao na pakiramdam nila sila lang ang may problema sa mundo.. Like, pasan nila ang daigdig... Pucha, think of all the other people who couldn't even afford to buy food and stuff... hindi ko maintindihan why they feel so deprived of everything, always pitying themselves over the smallest of matters. Lahat naman ng tao nahihirapan, sapat nang sabihin mo sa kaibigan na tsong, hirap na ko. Ok na yun, hindi yung magmamaktol ka pa na sasabihin mo pa ng in-depth ang bawat pag-kirot ng muscles mo na parang hindi mo naiisip na ang tsong mo ay may problema din na baka gusto mong i-consider naman. Lalo na yung igi-GM pa sa mundo na gusto na nilang mamatay, putang ina~ lalo na kung ang dahilan ay love life lng naman! Bullshit. Hay. Ayun. Post-Valentine's na entry.. napakaganda. |
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I am feeling something. Something bad, that is. Kasi... natatae ako. Alam mo yung pakiramdam na you really want to let it all out pero nahihiya ka kasi syempre you're at school and you're not the only one who would be spending time at the comfort room and so you've got to exercise courtesy to not let the CR smell like one hell of a crap. Nakakabwisit. Hahaha. Buti nalang may jacket ako kasi airconditioned pa itong cybernook sa gox.. hehe.
Well anyway. Yun lang yung nararamdaman ko. I feel so sluggish and lazy and unusually unhappy today. It's like I'm just trying my best to appear like my usual self pero sa totoo lang, tinatamad akong tumawa. Nakakasawa magpaka-isip bata at maging masaya. Feel ko ngayon maging seryoso pero I hate it when people ask questions like "bakit? anong meron? ano nangyari sayo? malungkot ka?"... nakakaburat kaya yung mga ganon.. then you would have to explain and blahblah.. gaaaah bullshit. I was with my friends kanina, it was fun.. pero... parang super pagod ako.. It's like I feel that my life is sooooo redundant. Monotonous. Bullcrap. Gets? Parang black and white lang yung buhay ko, going through the same stuff, putting up with the same shit, restraining myself from doing something I would regret in the end, being me and not being me... Magulo. Kailangan ko lang siguro ng tulog... Matulog nalang kaya ako forever? *drama* Joke. Nakakatamad!!! Hindi naman sa I'm wishing na may iniisip ako like may pinoproblema ako para malibang naman ako.. Noooo.. I like it better this way, walang problema, walang iniisip aside from school work... tahimik lang... masarap yung feeling na nothing bothers you pero kasi... in truth, I am still bothered... kung bakit ako ganito... ang weird ko... parang wala lang.. gusto ko nang umuwi. I miss my dog. I miss my grandparents. I miss my room. I miss my iPod. I miss the kitchen. I miss the TV. I miss the phone. Fine, I miss my brother. I miss my dad. I miss my mom. I miss the fresh air back home. I miss the feel of the electric fan and the sound of it 'cause I'm getting tired of the sounds of the aircon. I miss everything back home. I am loving my life here in Manila but still.. I wish home was just a pedicab ride away...too bad it's a fuckin' 3-hour bus ride!!! goddamnit. Aaaahhh gets. So yun pala. That's why I feel so monotonous and unproductive.... Nahohomesick ako!!! hehehe. Dami ko pang sinabi. Dami ko pang drama... yun lang pala. |
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Today, February 12,2008... we had our LEAP (LaSallian Effectiveness blahblah program...I'm not sure if that's what it really stood for but it goes along with that same context.
) I enrolled into the Facts About Time Travel class. I was expecting to find myself alone and bored and skeptic and unsatisfied. I was expecting loads of negative things and didn't expect to be mistaken by the end of the period. See, I was supposed to be taking up Kendo but then the class got dissolved and it seemed all fucked up to me but then I was down to two open classes which happened to be Time Travel and "We're Here, We're Queer!"... like damn I'm not gay so then I ended up taking the Time Travel one, after all, I am interested in finding out if it could really be explained or if it could really exist. I didn't expect to find two of my friends, Dom and Jason enrolled in the same class. At first we were pissed as hell since the class which was supposed to begin at nine began at ten... goddamn Filipino time, eh? Oh well. So moving on, I did not expect to enjoy the class. It was jaw-dropping and mind-boggling. I just couldn't accept the fact that it was worth all the wait! The speaker provided really logical arguments disputing Newton's Theory and giving the prior knowledge I had about Einstein's Theory of Relativity a different light. I just couldn't believe something as unbelievable as time travel could really be explained logically and it made perfect sense. Like everything he says that seems unbelievable has a back-up argument that makes it seem just soooo real! I had so much fun and I just couldn't believe I am believing it! *I know I'm not making sense with that statement but I'm trying my hardest to gather words to encapsulate and convey how I felt about the new knowledge I acquired.* Sigh. I enjoyed my first LEAP and now I feel that I am indeed looking forward to the one I'm going to get next year. |
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| Masaki Aiba is insanely adorable... i love him.. huhuntingin ko siya sa Tokyo at aasawahin ko siya! Kahit pa magtetwenty-five na siya at 8 years ang magiging pagitan namin! haha... Okay. Ganito kasi un. Dati pa, gusto ko na ang Arashi (a japanese boyband... and no, they don't suck... trust me, they don't. they're not like backstreetboys). Yung mga pinsan ko ayaw sa kanila, pangit daw ung mga guys... pero I don't care... love ko padin sila... kahit pa mukhang tuna sa laki ng kanyang panga si Matsumoto Jun! Haha. I soooo love Masaki Aiba.. ang cutecute nia... nagpapaka-fangirl nanaman ako dito sa school.. inaabuso ko nanaman ang pagkalibre ng internet dito.. hehe. Syempre, kamahal ng tuition di pa ba gamitin ang pinagpaguran ng magulang ko.. ayun. Nakaka LSS ang kanta nilang LIFE... (best! tsewet! kung binabasa mo to, pakinggan mo ang LIFE by ARASHI.) Hay. Mabuti na ito nalang ang pagbuhusan ko ng attention kaysa sa mga crush kong walang kwenta. hehe.. BEST: salamat sa comments! miss na miss na kita... dadalaw ako sa multiply mo sa weekend! labyulabyu TOOTSIE: thanks din sa comments, pare... hehehehe... maikli lang to, nagmamadali ako eh.. hehe |
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Times New Roman ang font ko ngayon kasi naiirita ako. Wala kasi akong ginagawa. Alam mo yung, napakahaba ng assignment sa trigbio na due for tomorrow na alam ko namang di ko maintindihan, hindi ko padin ginagawan ng paraan... napakalabo ko lang naman kasi eh. Bakit ganooooon...
 ang yabang ko pa na sabi ko this term talagang magtitino na 'ko but NOOOOO... what am I doing? WALA. Patanga-tanga lang... sa ibang subject, todo puspusan ang pangangareer ko... pero bakit pagdating sa math, alam ko na ngang yun ang pinaka hindi ko kasundo na subject yun pa yung iniignore ko.. Oh well papel... as if my ranting would improve my situation.. it only makes matters worse. hehe.Ang tagal naman mapasaakin ang laptop ko.. excited na ko makapagsulat ulit ng mga stories and to get my life back on track... (yes, I really felt lost when our pc broke down.... and with its disintegration came my stories and poems...  like hell, curse the stupid virus!) and now, I'm never.. take note: NEVER... ever going to let anyone other than myself touch my laptop.. kasi naman, nasira yung pc sa kakasulsol ng aking mga kapamilya na "ang bagal, akina... reremedyuhan ko..." bukod sa ilang buwan bago ibinalik sakin na nung ibinalik ay mas naging grabe ang kalagayan niya, hiniram pang muli! AMP!! Oo, gaguhan na nga. Tang ina, boi! *salitang kalye mode* I'm excited to feel alive once more! Ito na ang start ng isang pagbabago na hindi na magiging sobrang monotonous ng aking buhay... yay!Aside from these stuff... bwisit lang talaga ang library. Napakadaming estudyante. Napakamahal ng tuition fee. Napakalabo kung bakit hindi maipaayos ang hinayupak na OPAC system na yan... e hello, gabundok ang mga libro sa library! Ang hirap maghanap! Ang mga sadistang prof pa, feel na feel ang pagpapahirap... Shit sila.. hahaha. Kung may nagkaron man ng interes na basahin itong entry na ito at nagkataong nakakaintindi ng tagalog/taglish... pagpasensyahan na ang "mild" kong pagmumura.... lately, yun ang isa sa mga nagiging outlet ko ng frustrations and stress.. I know na panget pakinggan and I could do better than cursing every now and then but hey, unless you're going to admit that you don't resort to the same habit when you're stressed then perhaps I would consider. *lol* Akalain mo yun, tugtog dito sa cybernook ng school ay "Through the Years" ni Kenny Rogers? Ewan. Basta yung through the years na old song... yung kadalasang theme song ng mga mag-asawang nagcecelebrate ng golden anniversary nila at yung mga namatayan na nagsawa na sa walang kamatayang "Hindi Kita Malilimutan" ni Basil Valdez nga ba? Ewan. Malay ko. Basta. Yun na yon. Halata na bang wala lang akong masabi? Tang ina. Nakakainis ang sight ng Times New Roman.. pero bakit ko ginamit? Para tuluyang asarin ang sarili ko? Dahil gusto ko lang magpapansin na "hey, i'm using times new roman"? O baka dala lang talaga ng katamaran pumuli ng magandang font? Ewan. Hindi ko alam. Kahit naman malaman ko wala din naman akong gagawin para baguhin yung font. Nakakatamad eh. Ayos nga 'to, parang term paper... *rotfl* Walang nakakatawa pero tinatawanan ko ang sarili ko. Shit, man! Bakit ako ganito.. ang labo...
Technorati Tags: labo times new roman, laptop, opac, through the years, trigbio
Filed under: labo times new roman, laptop, opac, through the years, trigbio |
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Wala. Wala na talaga. Walang wala na.
Wala lang akong magawa. *  *Madaming dapat aralin, madaming dapat gawin.. pero anong ginagawa ko? WALA. Bakit? Simple lang. Tinatamad ako. Bakit ulit? Kasi mas nakakatamad maging masipag kesa tamarin na maging tamad... gets? Kung mabilis ang pick-up mo magegets mo sinabi ko. May rason kung bakit dito ako nag-gawa ng blog. Kasi ayokong magsulat ng mga hinaing, galit, frustrations, at kung ano-ano pang tumatakbo sa isip ko nang ladlad sa publiko. Kaya ayoko sa multiply eh, nababasa ng mga taong wala rin magawa sa buhay nila ang mga 'escapades' mo sa buhay. Dito sa blog na to, yung mga ini-add ko as 'friends' isa lang dun ung talagang kilala ko, syempre, bestfriend ko yun eh. The rest, inaccept man nila ung add, they don't really give a damn. Di naman talaga nila ko kilala eh, at di ko din sila kilala. So yun, masaya ako because of that. Nagugulat ako sa mga di ko kilalang nagcocomment sa ilang entries ko at masaya ako because of that kasi yung comment nila, walang bias. Makatao. Wala silang pakialam sakin, wala din akong pakialam sa kanila. Harmonious ang relationship namin. Peaceful. Ayoko ng atensyon. Siguro gusto ko ng atensyon kung galing sa mga taong mahal ko pero galing sa mga taong walang magawa at gusto lang magpaka-judgmental to pass the time, no thank you. Ang bitter ko, no? Hindi naman masyado. Siguro I just feel antisocial and kind of... anti-trend... halos lahat nalang kasi ng kakilala ko post ng post ng mga kagaguhan, kadramahan, kasamaan, kabutihan at kung ano-ano pang salitang pwedeng unahan ng 'ka' sa mga multiply o friendster blogs nila... Ayokong matulad sa kanila... siguro gusto ko lang magpaka-unique. *hehe* Hindi ako hypocrite. Aaminin ko ginusto ko din magsulat don at maging 'one with the crowd' but then again naisip ko na, it's quite a waste din. Parang si Heath Ledger. haha. Joke. Ang labo ng analogy.  Dati nagpo-post din ako sa aking friendster blog, tadtad pa nga ng icons and pictures eh... pero dinelete ko... kasi... ewan. Ayoko lang. haha. Oo, malabo akong tao. Kahit ako minsan hindi ko rin maintindihan ang sarili ko. Ganon lang siguro talaga kapag masyadong bored. So un. Un ang aking mga sentiments tungkol sa blogging. Sorry kung may magbabasa at mao-offend pero alam ko namang walang magkakainteres na basahin 'to eh.hehe. Another thing na nakadagdag sa list of frustrations ko, bakit ba hindi ko mapigilan na kahit nagta-type na ng matino nagiging animo'y text message/ym chat ang sinasabi ko... tulad nalang ng mga salitang ginamit ko sa naunang segment: "ung" "un" diba dapat may letter 'y' un sa una... o.. yan nanaman... "un"... bahala na nga... pinoy eh. haha. TXT!!! pakingshet. Gusto ko nang umuwi. Tagal kong hindi nakauwi. nalulungkot at nahohomesick na ko... naiinggit ako sa mga nakakauwi. hehehe. Tinatamad na 'kong magtype. Kain muna. Ciao! |
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So I am officially bummed out by the annoying weather. Last night, I had dinner with my Aunt Joy and my cousin, Ara. We had fun. Got new flip-flops. I got to go back to my dorm at around eight in the evening and I was glad to see Karen still awake... though the reason why she was still up was because she had to do this very long paper on her philosophy subject. I pity her. But I pity myself more. I had nothing to do other than eat and watch TV that night. It was really uneventful for me.. even more tiring than usual.
So then I got around into reading my friend yuugiri's fanfiction (gundam seed) and I just realized how much I missed writing fanfiction as well and how much I missed reading her stories and my other friends' stories. I just wished I had the inspiration and the energy to write about something. I was really bored I couldn't even practice math. I am trying to love math but heck it still hates me so I couldn't care less. |
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this week is just another one of those i consider a living hell. see, tomorrow.. i've got to pass the remake for my math class.. exactly eleven a.m.! then i shall study for the test on botany laboratory.. and then there's this oral exam in math on friday wherein i would prove to be another one of those math losers. i really suck at math and i wonder if i'll ever get through it. it's like every time i come to that class, i hold my breath and rejoice whenever i get out of it alive. i've had my fair share of moments of shame... i don't want to do something that could add up to that list again. i am sooo doooooomed.
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amp namang talaga grabe. disaster ang gabi ng birthday ko... ok na sana eh... masaya na... tae lang talaga yung dorm mate kong epal. super. as in... pampasira siya. bwisit! nkakainis...kung wla siyang mauto na babae, wag naman sanang ang taas ng pangarap nia at ako ang gagambalain nia. OA naman siya eh... feeling! mas matindi pa siya kesa kay cotton buds... hmpft. tae. ang bagal bagal ng internet dito sa smart classroom,... though i am fond of the air conditioning... pero, tae parin talaga.. nkakainis... hmpft. pangpasira tlga ung tao na un.. sheyt. |
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I just feel so happy knowing that I could be really good friends with my ex boyfriend. Well he was my first love and my first boyfriend. The first guy who ever held my hand in that context and the first guy who ever broked my heart. He never got to hug me nor kiss me maybe that's the reason why he left me. He broke up with me via text message (yes, yes.. what an ass.) on new year's eve. Yeah, I know. I couldn't even believe it myself. I chose to be friends again with that son of a bitch. But if ever I chose not to, then I'd be living and feeding on my own hatred instead of just letting it all go and watch him suffer some other fate... and oh he did. He went out with two other girls and dated for a while and got his ass kicked until now, in college, where he finally found a girl who could withstand his psychotic ways. Okay, now not really psychotic but... he's kinda twisted in a way. I heard he's doing great now and I am really happy for him. Oh well.
As for me... single but doing well. Alone but very much happy and contented about minding my own business. It helps to trust no one with your heart in terms of love. |
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i am so glad not one of my college friends know about this blog. none of them are even aware i am blogging... xp the only person aware of this is my best friend, xerez vera hernandez.. whom i miss the most... and my world would certainly not be complete without her. i haven't seen her for ages and at times it brings tears to my eyes.. hell, you couldn't even see your own best friend! terrible, it is. okay.. so enough about the sad part... i shall send the letters i've written her (there are four already!) but i can't find the time to go to the post office! *shet ang kj ng post chuchu ng dlsu..taeeee* but i shall find a way to see her again soon! best, if you are reading this.. please be aware that i am dreadfully missing you and i love so much my soul sister!
okay. today is the 28th of october... i am browsing through the sites of my multiply contacts and i realized that mine is just as boring as ever. them camwhores really have it better with cameras.. not that i don't have one, i'm just not using it. i am wasting it. i do have lots of pictures i could share but i am faaaaaar tooooo lazy to even bother to crank it up and upload pictures. while writing this entry, i am watching my all time favorite musical, the phantom of the opera. *say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime..* the song is just so... infectuous.. i love it. i totally love playing it on the piano.. when no one's bothering to listen, that is. and people just keep adding me on friendster... to think that i don't even know them! argh.. but then again i'd end up accepting it since i do not intend to exemplify ruuuudeeee-ness.. hahaha.moving on.. to the real topic of the entry.. the first two were my latest sentiments and this part is the "sentiment" i do not wish to forget but i do wish to remain.. at the bottom of things... and of my memories.. *emo much* last friday night, 26th of october... one of the nights i would never forget at the moment.. i could forget it but i would never forget how i felt at that fleeting moment... the dance show... the picture taking... the ROOFTOP... the way i laughed with my friends, my favorite people in the world... the way he laughed... and the time when (it was just for fun... trip lang) our friends asked us to hold hands for the sake of a stupid picture... gahdamn i hate the way i felt. it was supposed to mean nothing. i did mean nothing. i just hate it. so now i'm ranting!  my heart, is once again... trampled upon. xp okay nuff said. |
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As I have said in the title, I'd rather be a witch.
Me and my brother (yes, I managed to persuade him to keep me company.) were watching this kiddie movie. Not just any kiddie movie, mind you. It's a Barbie movie. The one where she played Rapunzel. At first we were both like, "Dude, this is a horrid idea." but then as he fell asleep along the way, I actually enjoyed the fairytale... but not in the sense that I'm reliving childhood memories of princess-dreams... I knew something I've always known. I didn't want to be like Barbie... nor like the princess she played. I wanted to be the witch. And I would be better than her. I would be smarter. But then again I won't torment any other person just to satisfy the rage I felt. I'd rather live alone. Come to think of it, a witch has more freedom than a princess. She shall not remain confined within the castle walls... she would have her fair share of adventure. She will not be bound by some code of honor. She won't be stupid enough to wake up each day, lying 'round the rotten hell of a bedroom... bossing her maids around... as she waits for her knight in shining armor a.k.a. prince charming atop his spotless white horse until her eyes grow tired and white. No, I shall not be a stupid princess. I'd be a witch. Who knows if I could meet my warlock in some apothecary as I buy specimens for a potion. But I am not really yearning to be with someone who possess as much power as I do... puhleeze, I'd rather be the one being feared! *laughs* I guess as a witch, I would want any ordinary lad, who would be brave enough to withstand my power, to be enslaved with misery... and to get me out of this emo-ness. Yes, someone who could do something as simple as preventing me from wearing black would be perfectly fine. I could be a witch. But I won't be an evil witch. I just know that I deserve more than what a princess gets. Heck, a princess can't even do magic! And I want magic... I need a little magic in my life and no, I won't resort to trying to be a fairy godmother. I'd be a good witch. A witch who helps other people with her powers. A witch who gets more than a lot of dresses and shoes. A witch who is not as stupid as the witch in the movie, making a spell and being imprisoned by it. (what a moron!) I'd be smarter than her. I'd rather do something good for Rapunzel and get rewarded by that deed... and have my way with the kingdom.. then I could boss her around in some subtle way. I won't even be the witch in Hansel and Gretel... hell no! I don't want to be as stupid as she is... and if I were to die, I'd rather be shot dead than to be baked in an oven! I shall be a witch. But I'd be the best witch there is. Even better than Hermione Granger. I'd be a witch who has done many more great things than Lord Voldemort... (he's a warlock, I know.. but I want to surpass his record!) ... and I guess I am getting a wee bit carried away. Once again... if given a choice? I'd rather be a witch.  |
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come to think of it, it all boils down to nothing.
*sigh* recap!
september 27th, the wordst and best day i've had so far in this second term.. the day i patched things up with a friend and the day i found out about being backstabbed by people i thought i could trust.
september 28th, the longest day i've had so far. it's like, i'm in amazing race and i'm trying to beat time and all.. thanks to zelle, i made it through all those places that i had to go through ALIVE.
september 29th, a saturday.. a great saturday. i wasn't thinking about what happened during the 27th and i was having a great day with my family and my dog in my hometown. i wished the day would never end.
september 30th, sunday. my brother went to a retreat... everything turned out better when he came home.
october 1st, monday. hell day for me. loaded with school stuff and all...
and now, october second... i still don't know what to expect nor what to look forward to. i didn't pass my first college algebra quiz but hey, at least i improved a lot! the hideous low scores i've been putting up with for the past years seems to be a bad dream i can just try and forget... oh well... things may be heartbreaking and stressful... but i've got more things to be thankful and happy about. when optimism kicks in, i just have to grab it. literally grab that impossible miracle and hold on to it... and make it a reality.
just when i had a thousand reasons to leave, i found a million reasons to stay. _an emo line that crossed my mind... and i can't seem to forget.
*sigh* some things don't really have to make sense to be real. |
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