i made mistakes... a lot of it. i usually make them unknowingly. you ask me why? it's because i am not even aware i did something wrong.

get this: people always say that you know yourself better than that of anyone else declaring who you are.

ture as it may seem... it's not true to me! as a human, you feel it when you did someting wrong. YOU KNOW what you did... although sometimes you don't but usually you do. then here's the catch: yeah, you know you never did anything like that but all of a sudden, people come barging in on you, yelling at you about things you know and you swear you never did and never will do!

they accuse you

they blame you

they force you to admit offenses you swear you NEVER did.

so you see now?

do you see my life?

do you understand what rotten judgement i have to live through for every day of my life?

yes, i know, you think it's too harsh... i do too...

but i have to get used to it sooner or later or else, nothing will happen.

but come to think of it, there's nothing i can do... nothing else but to accept every single LIE they throw at me... every single CRITICISM they say to my face... and every single MISTAKE they force me to admit...

life is not just unfair... it's frustratingly unfair!

yeah, these people are just God's little tests but... how i wish the test would not be this hard! tell me, how exactly would you feel if one minute, you feel like you're starting to love you life but after a split second, you wanna throw it all away and be gone with the wind? confusing. i am confused. i don't know what to feel or how to feel...

what i am losing is self confidence... i am losing my self esteem...

I AM LOSING MYSELF....

all because of their stupid lack of sensibility and sensitivity! i don't understand why people always think about themselves... them! them! them! them! they are all very selfish! they are made up of every raw material that can spell SELFISHNESS so clearly that it can reflect everything that goes along with it!

why do people always have to be self-centered and self-absorbed?!

all they care about is how would they feel..

but how come no one even bothered to ask me about how would i feel?!

honestly, i always feel neglected. i feel like i am isolated from all the other people in the world... they hate, they condemn, they do everything to prevent anyone from getting in their way...

oh yeah... there's another thing... one more about the selfish part...

people always want things to be done THEIR WAY... so if that's the way it's gotta be, then it'd better be an individual world, wherein every man is an island.. no one beside him, he can do everything in his own way with no one getting stepped on.... that can be great....

yeah, i hate the world today. i'll still be hating it for the days to come...