okay, so my world then made another wierd turn...

i just learned that to be what you want to, you must make it on your own. people are there to guide you, to teach you, to accompany you... but they are not always there... sometimes you have to live out on your own and only then you will realize what your life is worth...

i realized this when i talked to my grandpa... he was just reading a book, and i sat beside him on the porch and he looked up at the night sky.

"Do you know why stars don't shine sometimes?" he asked me.

"Uh... no... why?" i replied.

"It's because people always thought that stars are the only possible sources of guidance when everything is lost... they don't realize that stars are just there to give light... scientifically speaking... people have mistaken that for a long time." he continued.

i can say when he said this, i am really confused.

"Stars are there to remind us of someone... someone who is usually neglected by people... do you know who that someone is?" he asked me.

here, i thought deeply. i searched within me... and then, i answered with all honesty.

"GOd." i said.

"Correct." he said.

that ended the conversation... he smiled, closed his book, patted me on the head and came inside the house.

i was left all alone in the porch, thinking to myself, pondering on my thoughts...

i thought deeply. i thought about my family and how it ended up broken.

i thought about my friends and why i wanted to be with them.

i thought about my daily experiences, why it sucked and why it was the best.

and i thought about myself... and how my life takes a weird turn every now and then.

i guess that's how it's supposed to be.