i dun really know why... it just made me wonder... how come it's too easy to say, "you can always say no..." or "you can always refuse if you want to..." .... but it's so hard to really do that! yeah... i just came across that kind of feeling.

you see... i'm torn between a dilemma of whether to go for something or just let the chance pass... a friend told me... "well... there's not a problem in there... really... you can always say no.." and then i thought, hey, she's right... i can always say no... but when i turned to face the person i was about to say no to, my tongue just got all tied up and she was saying how much she's counting on me and that she's really happy that maybe i really came to say yes.... i just wanted to vanish right then and there.... if only the walls can absorb me... *sighs* so there... an obvious trap... all that "you can always say no" stuff seemed to have vanished from my memory that very moment...

argh... if only i had the guts and the bravery to just say no... but really, what's she's asking of me... is a very hard thing to do.