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there's but one thing i've got to say....
i hate exams!!!
i have been asking this question ever since i started taking exams...
"Why do they still have to test us if we already know the stuff they teach us when all along they already know the answers to their pointless questions?! they are just wasting their time and energy in making those papers... and they are wasting a lot of good trees!!! for making papers, that is..."
that's always my statement before... i think... in 2nd grade... when i was still as stupid as can be! :D
okay... change topic!!! but get this, i think i'm starting to hate physics... blech!!!
first, i'm announcing something...
i am not going to continue the "my story" entry anymore.. and the reason is.... the person that i am talking about there read the entry and laughed at me like crazy!!!! argh!!!
i might as well delete it anytime soon.... *sighs*
oh well... so much for a journal.... |
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okay, so my world then made another wierd turn...
i just learned that to be what you want to, you must make it on your own. people are there to guide you, to teach you, to accompany you... but they are not always there... sometimes you have to live out on your own and only then you will realize what your life is worth...
i realized this when i talked to my grandpa... he was just reading a book, and i sat beside him on the porch and he looked up at the night sky.
"Do you know why stars don't shine sometimes?" he asked me.
"Uh... no... why?" i replied.
"It's because people always thought that stars are the only possible sources of guidance when everything is lost... they don't realize that stars are just there to give light... scientifically speaking... people have mistaken that for a long time." he continued.
i can say when he said this, i am really confused.
"Stars are there to remind us of someone... someone who is usually neglected by people... do you know who that someone is?" he asked me.
here, i thought deeply. i searched within me... and then, i answered with all honesty.
"GOd." i said.
"Correct." he said.
that ended the conversation... he smiled, closed his book, patted me on the head and came inside the house.
i was left all alone in the porch, thinking to myself, pondering on my thoughts...
i thought deeply. i thought about my family and how it ended up broken.
i thought about my friends and why i wanted to be with them.
i thought about my daily experiences, why it sucked and why it was the best.
and i thought about myself... and how my life takes a weird turn every now and then.
i guess that's how it's supposed to be. |
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why won't he stop making my life miserable!!!
actually... not only mine... he did the same to my friends...
you see... i have this weird... as in WEIRD classmate.
whenever he likes someone, he would pretend to be so down and you know, trying desperately to get attention. he would then gain .00005% of anyone who is just so stupid to sympathize him...
and then there comes the drama ever part of his act...
so for the conclusion: all he causes is a major headache!!!
arrrgggghhh!!! if only i could throw him out of the class... or better yet, out of the school! maybe it can do him some good...
and now my friends are making fun of me because of his stupid antics!!!
so as i promised.. i shall continue the "my story" entry...
but... you have to wait till the next entry... i would tell it detail by detail! i swear!!!! |
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i wanna hide and never show my face again.|
recently, i watched a movie called spirited away... then there's this good friend of mine has a blog on a website about it and i read this post of hers... i'm so sorry so call it a violation, i copied it... it's just a description about the characters that i also fell in love with! the movie is soooo cool!!! you've got to watch it!!!
Chihiro and Haku....ang Cutie Couple ng movie |
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i made mistakes... a lot of it. i usually make them unknowingly. you ask me why? it's because i am not even aware i did something wrong.
get this: people always say that you know yourself better than that of anyone else declaring who you are.
ture as it may seem... it's not true to me! as a human, you feel it when you did someting wrong. YOU KNOW what you did... although sometimes you don't but usually you do. then here's the catch: yeah, you know you never did anything like that but all of a sudden, people come barging in on you, yelling at you about things you know and you swear you never did and never will do!
they accuse you they blame you they force you to admit offenses you swear you NEVER did.
so you see now? do you see my life? do you understand what rotten judgement i have to live through for every day of my life?
yes, i know, you think it's too harsh... i do too...
but i have to get used to it sooner or later or else, nothing will happen.
but come to think of it, there's nothing i can do... nothing else but to accept every single LIE they throw at me... every single CRITICISM they say to my face... and every single MISTAKE they force me to admit...
life is not just unfair... it's frustratingly unfair!
yeah, these people are just God's little tests but... how i wish the test would not be this hard! tell me, how exactly would you feel if one minute, you feel like you're starting to love you life but after a split second, you wanna throw it all away and be gone with the wind? confusing. i am confused. i don't know what to feel or how to feel...
what i am losing is self confidence... i am losing my self esteem...
I AM LOSING MYSELF....
all because of their stupid lack of sensibility and sensitivity! i don't understand why people always think about themselves... them! them! them! them! they are all very selfish! they are made up of every raw material that can spell SELFISHNESS so clearly that it can reflect everything that goes along with it!
why do people always have to be self-centered and self-absorbed?!
all they care about is how would they feel..
but how come no one even bothered to ask me about how would i feel?!
honestly, i always feel neglected. i feel like i am isolated from all the other people in the world... they hate, they condemn, they do everything to prevent anyone from getting in their way...
oh yeah... there's another thing... one more about the selfish part...
people always want things to be done THEIR WAY... so if that's the way it's gotta be, then it'd better be an individual world, wherein every man is an island.. no one beside him, he can do everything in his own way with no one getting stepped on.... that can be great....
yeah, i hate the world today. i'll still be hating it for the days to come... |
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i wouldn't continue my story until i finish talking about what happened today...
just because of that stupid practice wherein i wasted all my energy and ended up gaining nothing but rain-drenched clothes and an aching head! |
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for a few days now... i have been searching...
searching and searching...
SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS TO MY STUPID PROJECT!!!! damn it...
*sob* before i liked greek mythology but now, i'm not so sure... my social studies teacher made it feel like hades! no one can blame me that i don't have athena's powers or whatever!
gosh!everyone knows how i want to struck her with zeus' lightning bolts... burn her in flames!!!!
now that was a nasty joke... i did not really mean that... i just got carried away.
but really... it's not that bad... only that i have to stay up just to fight with my brother when he uses the computer first...
no, it's not hard... IT'S UNFAIR!!!!
as my best friend said, LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!
she's even planning to write a book on that... only that just making up stories make her tired... what more if it's a book?! but she said she'll work on that when she finds time... god knows how much i can contribute to that! weeee... ^_^
well this time... i'm gonna talk about me... yeah, you read that correctly...
Me! watakushi! wo! moi!
get it??
okay... to start things off.. i better retell the story of this... uhm... person!
i first met him when we were... i don't really remember! i don't even think he still remembers... it was like... even before either of us started schooling...
then after long years of studying in some other place, our family went back to that same old city and i had to transfer to this hell of a school that my aunt referred for sixth grade... since most of my cousins study there... and so i did... along with my lil bro, we entered the institution! yahoo.... -_-
then along with the other... uh, i better not specify to which group of students he belongs.... i just saw him... again! i instantly recognized him by the look of his eyes... his eyes were like the twitchy-scary type of eyes... it's chinky... it's because he is some kind of a... well... he is... his nationality cannot be revealed! people will know!! but you'll have to choose whether what nationality do you think he has... (chinese, japanese, korean) there! just.. carry on!
then i muttered something like... "is he for real?! i saw him again.. oh well..." honestly, for that encounter, i did not care much... i was like, "oh, it's him.. okay... fine... whatever!" then boom.. nothing..
after a few weeks, (get this: we are not classmates!) i always see him since he tends to loiter around the school when we don't have classes... he's always surrounded by a bunch of cronies! oops... i meant, he was surrounded by his friends... that looked like a bunch of cronies!
then... i talk to him only when i have to.. it's clear he does not remember.. well, it's a very very very long story i should say... then i found out that my best friend... and him... are busmates!!!! well... my best friend then likes his brother... and i kinda... i dunno if i like him or not.... maybe i did not at that time... ^_^ so my best friend kept on talking and talking endlessly about his bro so i just listen until she mentioned... HIM!
at first i just said, "oh... that guy... so?" but as she already knew me.. she just said, "yeah, that guy.. that guy i'm suspecting that you are in love with!" gosh.. how can she think that way! i am just 12 at that time, i don't even know what love means! well, she just exaggerated...
so moving on... after a few months of what you call... provoking of my best friend, i find myself liking him... cause he's such a bishounen! (so now you get me... about the nationality part... 0_o) then... nothing happened.. just a crush... until one day...
call it coincidence or destiny... i dunno, he's always soemwhere where i happen to be! you know... then i think... what is happening?! my ever-the-talker best friend said that it's a sign... a sign of what?! the year ended with me guessing about what he could be feeling but i don't really care... but i like him...
then came our graduation... i was always looking at him.. or rather, at the back of his head! since i was seated a few rows behind him and to his left.... see how far i am?! okay... as i was saying, then i always looked at him... savoring what would be the last time i could look at him since i will be transferring to another school for high school...
then BOOM! it's all over... i went to another school and he stayed there... so...
wait for the NEXT post... i will post the continuation of the story... since... i have it in my...uhm... other journal! the one i WROTE! with a pen! |
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visit www.kwiz.biz
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how stupid of me!
that's all i can utter these past few heck of days...
and according to the quiz i posted here earlier, my motto should be:
damn it! not again!
and i'm afraid i have to agree about it... it should be my personal motto... i always mess up! *tears streaming down her face[anime style]*
but hey, nobody's perfect! so i am allowed to be not-so-perfect!
okay... change topic...
see, i've been wanting to make a full makeover of my room... not that it smells or something, it's just... MESSY. really messy indeed.. my grandmum has been complaining about it for almost a month... so i figured out that i should clean it...
i am thankful that school is cancelled for today... i had time to work on this... i've been waiting for a day like this.. these so called once-in-a-blue-moon holidays... times where i get to sit in front of my pc and think to myself whether what or will i write down my experiences here... i'm kinda getting tired of it since all i post here are stuff about how i hate the world...
ok, yeah, i do hate it but not that much...
i love it just a bit but i hate it more...
well i guess most people my age do... just imagine the load of school and home work given to you... you might want to transfer to another planet anytime soon...
teehee..
oh and before i forgot, i uploaded a new avatar, haruno sakura from naruto, gosh i love her!!! she's loads of fun, smart and she likes sasuke.. like me!! only that... i don't have a large forehead... hehehehehe....
i really am a sucker... for animes!!! i live for it!!! i don't understand why sometimes i'm super lazy then i become hyperactive... i guess i'm just like.. the weather.... ever changing!!!!
oh well... i have to run... i think i'm hearing my grandmother shouting about my room again... |
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see here..
imagine, how would you feel when you knew that the people you trust the most really... is a snake in the grass???
you confided a lot, treated them nicely but then, all of a sudden, it's all gone.
hard, isn't it? that's how i feel!!! and i despise backstabbers...
those damned people who haven't got anything better to do with their lives than to make others feel as miserable as possible!
you try to be good, you try to make the best out of your so called hell of a friendship and what do they do? judge you without even checking out the truth behind the rumors!
arrrggghhhh!!!!
hate them!
but still, i can't blame them if their mentality is awfully lower than what i expected of them!
CURSES!!!!
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okay... it has been like a month since i last wrote in here... and i really missed my journal!!!
to get a recap of things...
this month is the most stressful month, ever! i hate it!
well, who wouldn't when you get tons of peer pressure and another ton of homework and loads of projects! i don't think i still know the meaning of fun!
i think that's a bit too exaggerated.. i still know how to have fun but the problem is... i'm not supposed to be having fun at a time like this!
another big problem of mine..... is again... my dear brother!
god knows how much that kid pisses me off!
....readers of my blog said that all i post here is about how much i hate life... but to tell you honestly, i do hate it but not as much as you may think.
all i hate about it is that i'm not that adjusted to my situation now, i kinda hate being a junior! i wanna go back to my sophomore years..wherein i can sleep in class, draw caricatures of my teachers... *forgive me my teachers!! i do miss you!!!*
plus... before i was the one who was so temperamental but now, it's my friends who are... and sometimes i am too and the bad thing about it is that when we all get temperamental all at the same time!!!!
as for my family, things are going great. we hang out once in a while to catch up for the lost times since as they say, "you can't be too late if you really want to catch up".. i like that saying..
teehee!!!
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AS I HAVE EMPHASIZED ON THE TITLE... I HATE THAT GUY!
*wishes she has powers to fry that guy alive*
i really wish i had the power to make that guy bump his head on the nearest wall and make it crack open!!!!
ggggggggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
he is the most idiotic creature i have encountered in my entire life! i wonder if he still has a brain.... he doesn't use it for god's sake!
he is so STUPID that i want to strangle him or better yet.. bury him alive!!!
you see, the reason why i am soooooo mad is because he is so.... *in tagalog so that it will sound more insulting* MAKAPAL!!!!!
he thinks he's all that and acts as if i am obliged to text him or call him.. whatever... whatever... i am not even in any way related to him!
for god's sake.... he's so STUPID! what a moron!
and when i hung up on him one time *i was talking to the creature on the phone... [oh the shame!!!!]* he said to a friend of mine that i don't have the what you call "etiquette"!!!!
an outrage!!
i have my etiquette! and for his information, *though i don't think he could even process information, since he's so stupid and all that* no girl inthe right mind would even bother to still talk to him whne he acts as if he knows how to manipulate people just like that!
i want to kill him!!!
he does not deserve to live any longer!!!!
*consumed by maximum anger*
FROM THIS DAY ONWARDS.... HE IS LABELED AS A......... FROG!!!! A LUNATIC!!!
DIE YOU MORTAL!!! DIE!! DIE!!! DIE STUPID MORTAL!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*i know i'm starting to act like 'patrick zala' in gundam seed who always says, "die stupid natural, die!! die!! die!! die!!!"*
nah... why bother.. i don't want my hands to be stained by his disgusting blood...
i'm just blowing off some steam, that's all... trying to get rid of my anger...
i should get rid of it.. since as they say, "anger is one letter short of danger"....
weeeee.... *but still... I HATE THAT GUY!" |
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gggrrr!!!! i thought that party would mean something but no..
not a chance!!!
the food... i went there just because of the food and what did i get?! a LAME sandwich and an even LAMER juice..
i really wanna cry now!!! i paid for that!!!
*bangs her head on the monitor* i am soooo mad!!!
...teehee.. well... not really
i guess it was quite fun, actually... i got to bond with my classmates as we cheer our classmate who was a candidate for vocal solo and the other, for mr.highschool.... but all that shouting made me really tired...
weeeeeeeeeee
but today is one of the best days ever! i'm going to have a new pc!!!
*far out!!!!! yeah!!!*
geeezzz.. on monday we're going to have another quiz, but this time, in chemistry...
i am sooooooooo tired.. knocked out!
i gotta go.. |
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sheesh... we just finished our "to-die-for" exams... and we have to do MORE stuff that is simply bugging me..
projects homeworks quizzes
the works...
it's so tiring yet frustrating that i always have to take a run with time so that i will pass..
weeeee
fun.. very fun indeed..
waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh *sob* *sob*
and to think i'm the class treasurer..
i'm starting to plan about my early resignation since i feel so.. lazy especially when my classmates don't wanna pay up!
if only i can be an anime character!!!!! |
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tomorrow is the day that i hate the most. i wonder what made me hate monday so much.. i've been hating it since i started school.. well, maybe it's because it is the sign of another torturing experience in school... teehee!!!!
but still it's gonna be monday tomorrow, whether i like it or not i gotta go to school... and i'm friggin' hating it!
we have been assigned TONS of projects and things to do and i am officially stressed out from all the work that i have to do..
then there's peer pressure once again. god knows how i can't stand it! i wish my friends would talk their way out of the mess they started with one another... i hate it when they fight. i wish i could do something but i don't want to meddle with stuff that is ain't my business.
as for my personal-but-public sorta life, my dad is okay with adjusting my allowance! weee!!! as for my mom.. well.. she kinda gave me fifty! hehehehe.. that's okay i guess....
i miss browsing the internet. i hardly find time to do so since we are very busy with all the school work.
*sigh* how i miss the days of summer....
*lyrics of the song "you're so last summer" echoing in my head*
*she said don't.. don't let it go to your head...* *boys like you are a dime a dozen, boys like you are a dime a dozen*
-yadayadayada-
*all i need to know is that i'm something you'll be missing* *maybe i should hate you for this* *never really did ever quite get that far* *maybe i should hate you for this* *never really did ever quite get that*
geezz... i better stop singing, it's already raining in here!!!!!
man.. how will i get home?! hate it when the rain comes in the wrong time and in the wrong place...
*sighs*focus...focus...
i've got to do my homework, study in physics and geometry, finish my project in chemistry, make visual aids for the reporting on speech, research on the topics for social studies..
all of that... is due TOMORROW.
no wonder i hate mondays this much. |
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people of this damn world.. nothing...
weee.... i have nothing to say..
my aunt never replied to my email
i am sure gonna fail my physics if i do not study the vernier caliper
everything happens so fast
and bad. |
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this day is so frustrating! not funny... it is because we had a lot to do and i got totally bummed because everything seems so confusing! major arghnessss for that! it was way exhausting! then there's a bunch of quizzes by next monday and i still did not get any chancez of studying! i dunno what to do about it.. i'm really feeling stupid and bummed. weeeeeeeeeezeeeeeeeeeersssss |
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okay .. this is just another experience of mine. listen up.
since we are learning a lot about history this and history that, my teachers said that "Greeks are intelligent people"... so because of that, i always joke around my friends that "i am a greek! you don't play smart with me cause i'm the smart one!" i always joke around like that.. pretending to be greek and all..
but later in another class.. my ggrrrr-worthy teacher said, "you know guys, most greeks are gay"
my mouth fell open... "what the heck?!"
then my so-called best friend.. she.. she called me "oh! so you're a gay! you know.. since you said you were greek and all.. you must be gay! *LOL* *LOL*"
*tears streaming out -aniem style-*
waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am so not gay! i am a hundred percent GIRL! FEMININE! definitely not a gay! no! never in a zillion years!!!
i can't beleive this is happening... i am so not happy.. waaaa...... she's always teasing me..
but i have to admit.. i also think it is funny!! weeeee!!!! i laugh about it too!!!
note: in ;this entry i am just pretending to be hurt and all!!! as if i am! i'm not that silly to be so sensitive!!! |
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